Did you know your child can earn scholarships as a kindergartener? Yeah! Unbelievable, right?
It cracks me up to think of my son sitting down at a computer next year, typing away at a computer to fill out a scholarship application. (He’s four.)
I checked in with Michaela Schieffer, an independent college counselor with MoonPrep.com. She says, “While starting a separate savings account for college is the solid solution, you also have creative options to grow that account. I recommend beginning the search for external scholarships as early as possible. External scholarships can be used at any college, and are available as early as age 10 through graduate school. Since most of these early scholarship awards are dispersed in a check rather than directly to a college, this is a great way to augment your savings in a college account.”
Such solid advice! Here’s a deep dive into scholarships — at any age.
Now, most people’s energy doesn’t turn toward thinking about scholarships until their kids get close to high school — and most students even wait till senior year to start thinking about scholarships.
Is it too late to apply for scholarships when your student is a senior? No, of course not! Start looking at whatever age your child is right now and start looking, whether you’re starting as a rising senior, eighth-grader or sixth-grader. (And if your child is a rising senior, start now!) You can also look into how to help your senior combat scholarship overwhelm.
Don’t forget, your child can still look for and apply for scholarships during college as well. There are opportunities everywhere.
Here are some ways to get started on the scholarship search, no matter your child’s age.
Start Searching Now
Whatever age your child is right now, start looking for scholarships.
What’s the first thing you do when you’re looking for information? Sure, you Google it. Check out FinAid’s Scholarship List as an example.
Don’t forget to check out scholarships in your community. These are lower-hanging fruit because the community you live in is more likely to award scholarships to one of their community members. Here’s how to look.
Ask your child’s school counselor. School counselors are the heroes of community scholarship knowledge. Your child’s school counselor should be able to hand you a list of scholarships available in the community. If your child’s not in high school yet, ask in the school office at your child’s school for any information about scholarships.
Tap into your own local connections. Ask wherever you go — the dentist, the chiropractor — to find out whether scholarships exist, even for younger kids.
Research past scholarships. Ask for old scholarship programs or scholarship awards night programs from local high schools. Don’t be afraid to ask for several going back a few years.
Branch out and ask about scholarships in another local area — or two. Don’t stick to your neck of the woods. Ask for scholarship programs at other high schools in your county or area. A local business might be willing to branch out, particularly if students in that area aren’t taking advantage of a particular scholarship. The business also might be willing to offer a county-wide or area-wide scholarship.
Watch out for scholarship scams. Nothing is scarier, right? Don’t miss this post about avoiding scholarship scams.
Gear Your Child Toward Scholarship Types
First, let’s consider the ways scholarship committees award scholarships. They want to see your child do a few things.
Develop Specific Skills
Put yourself in a scholarship committee’s point of view. You’ll notice that lots of scholarships awarded are based on entrepreneurial skills, art skills and more. Has your child worked to develop a specific talent or interest? Whatever it is, nurture it, then use those skills to his advantage when you’re looking for scholarships.
Here a few skills your child can develop over time:
Fine arts prowess
Athletic talent
Leadership skills
Academic excellence
Team player skills
Analytical skills
Communication skills
Consider Ways to Serve
Wouldn’t that committee rather give a scholarship to a kid who actively provides value to a specific cause or organization? It’s one thing to be in clubs and hold leadership positions. But what if your child can make a serious impact? Doing something that makes an impact can make your child extremely valuable in the eyes of the scholarship committee.
Does your child have a hankering to serve others? Here’s an example. Annie Wignall Foskett was 11 when she created the Care Bags Foundation. She began collecting essentials (soap and shampoo, etc.) for kids in foster care and crisis situations. Foskett jumped into action by creating fabric care bags filled with these essentials. Fast forward 20 years later. The foundation now serves displaced, abused and disadvantaged children all over the world!
Obviously, it’s better to develop a child’s burgeoning desire to serve organically, rather than trying to do it just for scholarships or personal gain. However, if your child has a great idea, nurture it. You never know how much a great idea can take off!
Here are some ideas you and your child can think about developing:
Help disadvantaged children
Assist senior citizens
Raise awareness and help for animals
Take care of the environment
Help the hungry
Assist the homeless
Reduce crime and promote safety
Enhance the local community or state
Help disadvantaged schools
It’s a great idea to do some research to find out what the needs are. A great way to launch a major project is to start by volunteering. Encourage your child to check at school, at your family’s place of worship or city council to determine what type of help is needed. Encourage your child to just get started wherever he or she gravitates toward, such as a homeless shelter or nursing home, and ask whether it takes volunteers.
Does your child have to build his own nonprofit or create an amazing foundation like Care Bags? No. Showing extraordinary compassion toward a particular cause is also a phenomenal way to gather scholarships
Develop a Vision or Trajectory
Help your child develop a vision for his or her life. I know, it can seem impossible for most young people. How can they possibly know everything that’s available to them? Most kids have a limited worldview because they haven’t had the life experience that comes with age. However, it’s a great idea to have some sort of idea of what that could look like. Does your student gravitate toward social justice issues? Writing? Entrepreneurship? What does that life look like?
My aunt knew at a very early age that she wanted to be a teacher. She was probably in second grade when she declared she wanted to influence children for the rest of her life. Guess what? She became a first grade teacher and taught for years! I’m amazed by that story and like to share it because you might not be too young to figure it out.
Build on Other Traits
What other characteristics does your child have? Is your child a minority or have a disability? Is your child left-handed? You already know there’s a scholarship for just about everything you can think of. I have a personal example that applies to this. My school counselor knew that I’m deaf in my left ear and partially deaf in my right ear (yes, it’s true!) and got me in touch with our local vocational rehabilitation office. The organization gave me some extra scholarship money over the course of my four years at college. (State vocational rehabilitation (VR) offices help people with disabilities prepare for, obtain and retain employment.)
I wouldn’t have even known it was a possibility if she hadn’t mentioned it. Sometimes it’s about talking to everyone you know — and searching online for that information.
The University of Washington has a great list of scholarships for those with disabilities if your child qualifies.
Get in the Habit of Looking Often and Take Action
It’s never too early to start looking for scholarships, but it’s important to also look for them all the time. Be on a constant search for scholarships that fit your child’s profile. Encourage your child to look, too. Here’s a quick example of what you could do:
Look for scholarships on the first and 15th of every month. (Set a calendar alert so you remember to do it.)
Select at least two scholarships to apply for every month. (Your child can do this!)
Create a Trello board to keep track of scholarships researched, applied for and received. It’s really helpful so I stay organized. I do this for my blog and align my editorial calendar with the following:
Articles to Write
In Writing
Editing
Ready to Input
Inputted
Review in Six Months/One Year, etc.
Create an account for the scholarship money. (But learn the scholarship rules — some scholarships don’t allow you to just “take” the money. Some may have specific requirements, like a preference to pay the school directly.) However, if a scholarship committee allows you to cash a scholarship check, consider whether you want to invest the money in a diversified fund — particularly if your child wins the scholarship years before the start of college. Consider contributing your own money to that account as well (regularly and often!) so there’s a robust amount earmarked for college.
Constantly review what’s going well during the scholarship search. If a process needs to change, make that change early on.
Don’t Get Discouraged
Not getting results? Keep going. Keep moving forward!
I know I already mentioned this, but don’t wait till high school to start looking for scholarships, particularly if your child is truly doing some exceptional things. If he’s creating his own app to feed the homeless in Africa, you bet scholarship committees will want to hear about it — even if your child’s only eight.
When it comes down to it, it’s a very generous world we live in — and people want to help promising kids go to college!
Make an Impact on the World
Here are a list of scholarships your child can apply for, divided by age. Check out this list of best scholarship websites as well.
I’m camping in Colorado right now (er… we’re glamping). That made me think of living in a dorm room, so an idea for college dorm hacks on the cheap was born!
Plus, August is screeching around the corner! You may be spending loads of money on college tuition but might draw the line at accessorizing your child’s dorm room. (That can get so expensive!) Here are some tips, tricks and dorm room hacks to make sure room decor and accessories don’t cost an arm and a leg.
1. Organize with Plastic or Wire Storage Containers.
Space is limited in a dorm, so what’s the first thing you need to get squared away? Yep, storage. There’s no better way to do that then to get small plastic or wire mesh containers. (I suggest getting smaller items. Giant plastic storage containers are great but who wants to dig and dig and dig to find stuff at the bottom? These can go under beds, in closets, even under bathroom sinks if your child isn’t sharing a bathroom with a huge number of students.
2. Use Duct Tape as a Cure-All.
Duct tape is the savior of so many things, whether for cords that beg to be strapped to the back of a desk or for a really old textbook from the “really used” book bin. It can bind a loose textbook or even hold the inside of a winter jacket together if your child’s really desperate. Duct tape is cheap and can (literally) do anything. I remember watching a couple of guys duct taping the bumper of a car back together — it lasted that way all semester during my junior year.
3. Decorate with Fabric Decor.
Residence hall rooms are usually pretty dull and uninspiring. White walls, carpetless floors — they’d make even the most savvy decorator cringe. You don’t need to be an expert designer to work miracles. Grab some fabric and cheap frames at a hobby store and frame the fabric. Your student can choose from a variety of wild and fun patterns and spend next to nothing. Your kiddo can even skip the frames and stretch fabric on canvas if it’s cheaper. Cinder blocks may never have looked so beautiful!
4. Use Carpet Remnants Instead of Rugs.
Skip the rugs — they’re so expensive! See if a flooring store will give you cheap (or free!) carpet remnants. They can be way softer (and homier!) than the usual utilitarian floor in most residence halls. Carpet remnants can be used or tossed at the end of the year.
To go an even cheaper route, find someone you know who’s getting new carpet and ask for remnants of the (new) carpet. They might even give it to you for free.
5. Make Good Use of Dryer Sheets.
Yep, you can totally use dryer sheets for laundry, but there’s another way to save money. Your child can put them on the fan or even the air conditioning unit! Regular air freshener is expensive and your child is not allowed to have candles and wax melts in most residence hall rooms.
6. Use Scarves as Curtains.
Curtains can get super expensive, so why not use a colorful medley of scarves? It’ll at least block out those tacky rolscreen windows with built-in blinds. Your child can opt for sheers or solids and make it as colorful as she wants to. You may even want to sew some together if you’re not too concerned about getting them back.
7. Forgo Plastic Hangers for Wire Hangers.
We all know there’s super limited space in dorm room closets. The metal bar for clothes may only be a foot or two long, so use wire hangers instead. I learned this trick at my parents’ business. My dad owned a dry cleaners and we only used wire hangers at our house. Trust me, they take up way less space and you can buy them cheap.
8. Use Hair Ties to Create Double Clothes Hangers.
There’s a reason I listed clothes storage twice — it’s a big problem in dorm rooms. Instead of buying more hangers (that won’t fit in the closet anyway) twist hair tie ponytail holders all the way down to the neck of the hanger, then loop them there so you can hang an extra shirt or pair of pants in front. You can also use pop tabs if you have a lot of those laying around, but hair ties are often bunched up in all sorts of drawers (they are in our house, anyway!)
Another piece of advice: Make sure your child doesn’t take every single piece of clothing she owns to college. It won’t fit and she likely won’t wear all of it, anyway. If you can, plan to take just one seasonal wardrobe at a time. For example, take fall gear to school in August with one light jacket. If you live close enough, you can meet up with winter gear in October or November, or have it shipped if your child is going to school far away.
9. Use a Storage Cart for Bedside Essentials.
Thrift store finds like a storage cart can be perfect to store bedside essentials. It’s a great place to stash a laptop because your kiddo’s too tired to make it to the desk in the middle of late-night studying. Your child can also store books, phone, snacks and more on it if there’s just the teensiest bit of energy to slide these materials off the bed.
10. Rehome Some Things from Home.
There’s no reason your kid needs to buy brand-new things to make a residence hall room cute. There’s plenty of stuff lying around that could migrate to school. Why not paint Grandma Flora’s lamp that hasn’t been used since 1975? Rehome pencil holders and use old paint cans for storage — once they’ve been decorated?
Now’s the time to get creative! What else can be reused? A duvet stashed in the back of the closet? Who says everything needs to be brand new?
Final Tips
Dorm room hacks shouldn’t be as hard as helping your child figure out her college major. This is easy stuff. Do you live close to the college where your child is planning to attend? You may be able to tour your child’s future residence hall room. If you’re a little further away, you may be able to have someone from the admission office take photos of the room ahead of time so you and your child can plan some great ways to decorate that cinder block room.
Don’t forget a few other essentials:
Surge-protected power strip: You’ll need one to set up your child’s electronics and protect them from electrical surge damage.
Long phone charging cord: There are a limited number of outlets in rooms, so an extra-long charging cable can come in handy.
Mattress pad: Don’t forget this little detail! The pad makes the mattress comfier and feels like home.
Trash can: Residence hall rooms don’t come with trash cans in most cases. You can pack things in a trash can when you’re packing up your child’s school items, too!
Command strips: Don’t be destructive when you’re hanging things on your kid’s walls. They’re perfect for hanging heavier things, too!
Masks: Don’t just bring one mask — they’ll need to be washed every other day or so.
Hand sanitizer: Don’t forget to have an ample supply of hand sanitizer on hand for your child.
Disinfecting wipes: Buy disinfecting wipes or make your own. It’s easy!
I loved it when families came for college tours. They were excited, happy and sometimes even nervous. However, some families weren’t sure what questions to ask because everything (everything!) was new to them.
I compiled a list of must-ask questions to ask on a college tour for admission counselors, financial aid professionals, professors, coaches and more. You may think of others that pertain directly to your child’s situation, but this should give you a great start!
The student tour guide offers the most candid look at what a college is like. Spend as much time as you can with your child and the tour guide and make sure your child asks questions, even if the tour guide probably isn’t going to be your child’s best friend. Yes, the student is groomed to give canned responses to some questions but talking to the tour guide is the best way to get a feel for a college.
What’s your favorite thing about this college?
What’s your least favorite thing about the college you attend?
Where might my child spend a lot of time if he/she is a student here?
Why did you choose this college?
What are the students like?
Which residence hall is your favorite? Where did you live your first year?
Where do you live now? Why did you choose to live there?
What is the food like?
What is your major?
Is this a suitcase college? (Do people go home a lot on the weekends?)
What activities does the college have available for students?
Is it easy to get an internship here? Have you had an internship?
How available are professors?
How does the college handle communication?
Have you found it difficult to handle the costs of college?
What are your plans for after graduation? Do you plan to go to graduate school? Get a job?
Is it easy to get a work-study job on campus? Why or why not?
Where do first-year students typically get assigned for work-study? Can they request a work-study job?
How have online classes gone due to COVID-19? Has that been a seamless transition?
Are the classes rigorous? Have you found them manageable?
How do you manage classes and athletics? (If the student is an athlete and your child is a prospective athlete as well.)
How many tours did you go on before you chose this college?
Is this college far away from your hometown? How do you manage going home during breaks?
Is it easy to get involved in extracurricular activities?
Was it easy or difficult for you to get accepted into this college? How many other colleges did you apply to?
What do you do for fun and what is the social scene like?
What was the most surprising and difficult thing about adjusting to college life?
Admission Counselor Questions
You can call an admission counselor an “admission counselor” or an “admissions counselor.” What does an admissions counselor do? Check it out before you go on your visit! Generally, this is the person who will help you throughout the college search process. Your child will be assigned an admission counselor based on geography. You can search a map of the United States on any college’s website and find your child’s admission counselor. Here are some great questions to ask your child’s admission counselor. (I spent 12 years in college admission and I loved it when families asked me these questions!)
Admission Requirements and Process
What’s the application process?
What is the admission process, from start to finish, and what should my child expect after an application?
What ACT/SAT scores does my child need to attend your college? Is it optional?
Do you superscore test results (take the best score of each subject test on multiple ACT or SAT dates)?
Can my child self-report my standardized test scores?
Should my child aim for a certain grade point average? What are the requirements?
Does my child need to submit an essay or letters of recommendation? If so, what are the requirements?
Are there any other admission requirements we need to be aware of? What types of supporting materials does my child need to provide?
Does my child need to do an interview with an alumnus or college staff member to be admitted?
Are there different admission requirements for various departments or majors?
How can my child make his or her application stand out?
What are the most important admission factors at your college or university?
Do you accept the Common Application, the Coalition Application or the Universal College Application or do you have your own application?
What types of deadlines do you have for your applications?
Do you charge an application fee? How do we pay it?
Can we get a waiver for the application fee if the fee is a hardship for our family?
Do you have an applicant portal my child will need to use?
What are your recommendations for teacher evaluations, if required?
What does your ideal applicant look like?
How do you look at extracurricular activities and work experience in the admission process?
If my child applies early decision or early action to another college or university, can he or she apply to another college?
Do you defer admission to some students? If so, why, and what can my child do to be admitted?
Can my child defer admission once admitted?
Is the rigor of my high school taken into consideration when my child applies?
Who will read my child’s application?
Will it help my child to take advanced, accelerated or honors courses?
Can my child add/remove something from his application once it’s submitted?
How does my child track the status of her application?
Does your college ever rescind an admission offer?
If my child is rejected Early Decision, can he apply Regular Decision?
Does my child need to submit mid-year reports of her grades?
Are my child’s chances for admission to your university’s graduate school greater if she attends your university as an undergraduate?
How should my child submit transcripts from any college courses?
Are admission requirements different if my child is homeschooled?
Will my child’s financial aid award be different if she applies for admission under Early Decision, Early Action, etc.?
When do application decisions become available?
Is there a maximum number of students admitted from a particular country, region or school?
How should my child submit standardized test scores?
How do you determine which credits transfer?
Is admission competitive? How competitive?
Future Visit Details
You may want to come back! In that case, check with the admission counselor you’re talking to so you can find out which options are best. Check out my ultimate guide to Here are few questions you could ask:
Which visit days should my child attend throughout the year?
How do we arrange an on-campus overnight visit?
What’s the best way to arrange future visits in general?
What does a visit schedule look like if my child chooses to arrange future visits?
In your opinion, is it best to do a group visit day if we choose to visit again or is it best to do a personal campus visit?
Do you have competitive academic scholarships my child can interview for (and come back to campus another time)?
Academic Details
Why not ask the admission office about academics? Admission counselors can offer a candid overview of academics at the college they’re working at because what do they do all day long? They talk to current students who work in the admission office (and also hear their complaints and what they celebrate).
Do professors have an open-door policy? How accessible are they?
Are teaching assistants or professors the ones who teach the classes?
What is the average class size?
What is the student to faculty ratio?
Can you tell me about the [insert name] major? What are your most popular majors and classes?
How are classes selected?
Are there required first-year classes?
My child’s favorite subject in school is [insert favorite subject]. How can that translate to a major here?
How rigorous are classes here?
Tell me about academic support services here.
Does your college provide services if my child has a disability?
What is your graduation rate?
How many students go on to graduate school or become employed after graduation?
How many students get jobs in their majors or a related field?
What types of internships are available for students?
Is it possible to do research as an undergraduate student?
Is your school on the semester or quarter system?
Does your school offer pre-professional majors?
Are tutors available?
Demographics, Social Life and Other Activities
What types of clubs and organizations can my child get involved in?
What are the most popular clubs and organizations?
What’s the social life like on campus? What do students do for extracurricular activities?
What would you change about this college or university?
Do students usually attend sporting events, theatre events or more?
Is it possible for my child to start his or her own club or organization? What is the process to do that?
How many students study abroad? Is it a popular thing to do? How is study abroad structured here?
Is it easy to manage a collegiate athletic career and academics? How do coaches approach academics and athletics here?
What security measures are in place at your institution?
Is on-campus housing guaranteed?
Is my child required to live on campus?
How does the meal system work?
Is it easy to find a student job on or near campus?
How is housing assigned?
Can my child live on campus during school breaks?
How safe is the campus and the surrounding neighborhood?
What is the percentage of students of color on campus?
What is the percentage of students who live on campus?
Can you tell me the male-to-female ratio on campus?
How does parking on campus work?
Where are students who go to your school from?
How does your college or university accommodate students with food allergies?
What role do parents play in your community?
What is your freshman retention rate?
Financial Aid Professional Questions
You might want to meet with a financial aid professional as well — and that’s a great move. However, if you can’t get an appointment with someone in the financial aid office, admission counselors are well-versed in most financial aid topics and should be able to walk you through an award letter or answer basic questions about scholarships and loans. Here are some questions you may want to ask:
What is the tuition, room, board and fees at this school?
How much does tuition increase each year? Do scholarships increase to match the change?
What scholarships can my child qualify for? How does my child qualify for them?
Are there any merit-based scholarships available at your school?
Can my child receive grants? If so, what are the requirements?
How do loans work and how should we apply for them?
Can you explain in detail how a financial aid award is set up?
What amount will my child receive, using your school’s net price calculator or a financial aid estimator?
What are the interview or audition requirements for certain scholarships?
Can my child apply for talent-based scholarships?
What will happen if our family’s financial aid situation changes while my child is at your school?
Will my child qualify for work-study? How does work-study work here?
Does my child need to report outside scholarships? Will merit-based scholarships be “taken away” if my child receives a large outside scholarship?
Where should we send checks for outside scholarships?
Do we need to complete a CSS Profile?
How will we know if the FAFSA has been submitted correctly?
When will my child receive the financial aid award?
What is the deadline for applying for financial aid?
My child is undocumented. Is my child still eligible for financial aid?
How does financial aid work if my child studies abroad?
Can veterans or children of veterans receive financial aid at your school?
Can we apply for financial aid in future years if we do not apply the first year?
Will you help me file the FAFSA in person?
What kind of need-based aid can my child get?
How is work-study awarded?
How will the financial aid office help our family break down the costs?
What does the average student receive in financial aid from your school?
Are there other extra expenses we’ll need to be prepared for, like activity fees, biology lab fees, etc.? Can you give us a list of those additional expenses?
Faculty Member Questions
Many colleges and universities will grant you time with professors — you just have to ask. It can be intimidating for your student to meet with a faculty member but it’s well worth it! After all, your student may have that professor for classes. A professor can change the trajectory of a your student’s career and life. Here are some questions you and your child can ask:
Which classes do you teach?
What is your favorite class to teach? Why?
Why do you teach here?
What is your teaching style?
How often do terminal degreed professors teach the classes?
What are your top expectations at the beginning of any semester?
Do you help students with connections for internships and jobs after graduation?
Are undergraduates able to get research opportunities?
How do you measure success in your classroom?
What does a typical syllabus look like in one of your classes?
How does advising work? What’s the process to put together a student schedule?
When are your office hours? Is it easy for students to get their questions answered?
What is your average class size? For introductory classes? For advanced classes?
What are your most successful students doing now?
How do you communicate with students?
Do you put an emphasis on interactive or group work or put an emphasis on lectures?
How do you choose the textbooks a student will use during the semester?
Do you consider yourself to be approachable?
What should my child do if he or she is having trouble in your class?
Do you have teaching assistants (TAs)?
Are there any supplemental instruction (SI) sessions my student can go to during any given semester?
How have you handled online learning during COVID-19?
How much time do your students spend studying and completing assignments during the week?
Are your classes reading and writing intensive?
What types of issues do students bring to you during office hours?
Is there a capstone project or internship requirement for your program?
What does a typical path to graduation look like? What exact classes are required?
How long does it take the average student to graduate? Four years? Five years or more?
What is the academic community like in your department or program?
What resources are available to me?
Is service learning or similar opportunities for hands-on learning a priority in your classes?
Do you help students determine their career path or calling?
Do your students make connections between their academic studies and activities outside of class? Can you give us an example?
How do you work with students who choose to study abroad? Is there a best time during the academic program?
What other majors and minors do students usually combine with this major?
Do you do any other research or other projects that can affect what you teach here?
What are students surprised to learn when they’re in your class?
What do you do when students realize your major isn’t a fit?
Coach Questions
You want to be sure that a college is a good fit for your child athletically if your child is an athlete — but make sure it’s a great fit academically and socially as well. Note that you’ll want to ask the admission office questions about grades, admission, SAT, ACT, academic scholarships, etc. — coaches should not answer admission questions.
A quick tip: Don’t bring up athletic scholarships right away — a coach wants you to demonstrate a team commitment first. Here are some questions you and your child may want to ask a coach.
Why do you coach? What is your coaching philosophy?
What are the holes in your program that my child can help fulfill?
How do you recruit?
What are you looking for in the right recruit?
Can you describe your program’s values?
What does a typical day look like for a player during the season?
How about the off-season program? What are the expectations?
How do you encourage your players academically?
What are the academic requirements for your program?
What do your players do during their free time?
Can you tell me your team’s total GPA and graduation rate?
Do the players typically live together on campus?
Is it easy for players to catch up after missed class time for games and meets? How do they usually do that?
My child wants to major in X. Is it possible to major in this and still play for your program?
How much of an impact do you see my child making on the team right away? Later on?
What does my child need to do to be evaluated by your staff?
Can you tell me more about your assistant coaches? What are their philosophies?
When does your coaching contract end? Do you see yourself here another four years?
How would you describe the team chemistry?
What are the current strengths and weaknesses of your team?
Get Your Questions Answered
I’ve included a lot of questions on this list! You’ll keep yourself pretty busy if you ask every single one of these questions on your college visit. However, note a few, write them down, take this link with you on a visit. Maybe this list will also inspire your own questions on your visit!
Here’s a little-known fact: There’s no law that says you have to pay for college using student loans. In fact, I encouraged everyone I came in contact with during their college tours to get as creative as possible as they carefully mapped out how to pay for college.
As interest rates drop, it’s natural to think that there may be other options to pay for college. Only one percent of parents used a home equity loan to pay for college, according to a 2015 Sallie Mae study called How America Pays for College.
But what if you did tap into your home equity to pay for college? It’s worth exploring! However, also know that it might not be the right fit for you at all. Let’s explore your options.
The words “home equity” sound complicated, but it’s actually really simple — home equity refers to the amount of your home that you actually own. As you make payments on your mortgage, you reduce your principal, the amount you owe on your loan. As you do that, you build your home equity. You only own the percentage of your home that you’ve paid off. Your mortgage lender owns the portion of your home until you pay off your loan.
See, simple! Are you with me? Here’s an example:
Let’s say you bought your house for $100,000 with a 20% down payment of $20,000. You automatically get $20,000 in equity on closing day. Every mortgage payment helps you build more and more equity, as long as your home value doesn’t drop.
What happens when you’ve fully paid off your mortgage? That’s right — you’ve got 100 percent equity in your home, and that’s a beautiful thing.
How Do You Determine Your Home Equity?
Don’t know how much equity you have? That’s okay. I didn’t really know how much equity we had in our home, either, till we refinanced. The mortgage payment was one thing around my house that actually took care of itself — unlike our kids, garden and landscaping. We had it set up on autopay and it truly didn’t need a lot of attention. (I know, not the best approach. It’s always good to know exactly what your home equity is at any given time.)
Here’s how to figure out your home equity:
Log in to your lender’s website or call your lender to determine how much you owe.
Figure out how much your home is worth. Subtract your loan balance from your estimated home value. For example, let’s imagine you owe $100,000 on your home and you believe your home is worth $200,000. Subtract $100,000 from $200,000. This means you have an estimated $100,000 in equity in your home.
Keep making your monthly payments if you want to continue to build your home equity. Simple, huh?
Types of Home Equity Loans and Lines of Credit
Resist hitting the snooze button here. Let’s very briefly go over a few points on home equity loans, cash-out refinances and home equity lines of credit (HELOC).
Home Equity Loan
A home equity loan is exactly the same thing as taking out a second mortgage. You repay the loan with equal monthly payments over a fixed time period (just like you did with your original mortgage) and you receive the money as a lump sum amount. Your home is used as collateral to protect your lender in case you’re unable to pay back the money you owe and you default on your loan.
The amount you can borrow usually depends on your lender, but is usually limited to 85 percent of the equity in your home. The actual amount you’ll be able to get also depends on your income, debt-to-income ratio, credit history and the market value of your home.
Cash-Out Refinance
A cash-out refinance is different from a home equity loan. To put it simply, you borrow more than you owe on your mortgage and pocket the difference.
When you get a second mortgage, you add another payment to your list of payments every month. A cash-out refinance is different — you pay off your old mortgage and replace it with your new mortgage.
Here’s how it works. Imagine your home is worth $150,000 and you’ve paid off $50,000. This means you still owe $100,000 on your home. Let’s also say that you want to use $10,000 to pay for college.
A cash-out refinance lets you take a portion of your equity and add that $10,000 to your new mortgage principal. In other words, your new mortgage would be worth $110,000 — the $100,000 you still owe plus the amount you want to borrow for college. You’ll get the $10,000 a few days after you close on your new refinance.
Home Equity Line of Credit (HELOC)
A HELOC is a second mortgage just like a home equity loan. However, you don’t get your money in a lump sum like you do with a home equity loan. Instead, think of a HELOC more like a credit card. HELOCs allow you to draw from your predetermined loan amount as you need it.
You can draw from your HELOC between five and ten years and just need to pay interest on the money you take out. Let’s say you have $50,000 equity in your home. You can take out money as you need it for college during the draw period and will only pay interest on the money as you take it out.
When do you pay off the loan principal? Not until the end of your draw period. The repayment period usually lasts 10 to 20 years and you pay both interest and principal on the amount you borrow.
Another difference between HELOCs and home equity loans is that the rate is adjustable over time, which means it changes over time depending on the prevailing interest rate.
Mouse Traps
Ha ha, do you like that section header? I named it that because we currently have a mouse in our van and even worse, my husband can’t find it. I am driving a van that has a mouse currently living in it. I bet it has babies. I bet it has a whole brood of baby mice.
It’s horrifying. I keep expecting a mouse to jump onto my lap as I’m traveling 55 miles per hour down the highway. I’ll be holding a mug of tea, my mug will fly out of my hands and I’ll wrench the steering wheel in horror and crash into the ditch, sending the mouse and everyone in the car flying through the air with second-degree tea burns.
Anyway, I digress.
Cons of Tapping Home Equity to Pay for College
Even if a home equity loan offers a lower interest rate than private loans or even federal loans, a low interest rate isn’t the only reason to go after a home equity loan. Here are some major downsides to using a home equity loan to pay for college:
Your home is used as collateral. What happens if you can’t pay back the loan? Your house can be whisked away by the bank — just for a college education. That’s a pretty big risk.
Home equity loans don’t offer much flexibility. Federal student loans offer forbearance and deferment options. In other words, your student may be able to temporarily stop making loan payments. (The main difference between the two is if that deferment means no interest will accrue on your child’s loan balance. Forbearance means interest does accrue on your child’s loan balance.) In some cases, federal student loans can be completely forgiven — your child doesn’t have to pay them back at all.
Interest rates might not be lower. Compare student loan interest rates to home equity loan interest rates. Which ones are higher?
Pros of Using Home Equity to Pay for College
Ease. As long as your credit score and debt-to-income ratio is good, tapping into your home equity is fairly easy to do. Note: It usually takes 30 to 45 days to get a home equity loan, HELOC or cash-out refinance, though that depends on the lender.
Tax benefits. Interest is tax deductible on home equity loans, HELOCs or cash-out refinances.
Interest rates might be lower. They might be lower than private student loans. However, it’s worth looking into if a private student loan carries a 5.25 percent interest rate and you can get a home equity loan with a five percent interest rate. Even a quarter of a percentage can make a difference.
Other Things to Consider
Having a lot of equity in your home isn’t a guarantee that you’ll get a home equity loan, cash-out refinance or HELOC. You still need a decent debt-to-income ratio and credit score to be able to tap into your home equity and you’ll also need to get a home appraisal. I’ll briefly chat about debt-to-income ratio and credit score and how that can impact your ability to tap into your home’s equity.
Your Debt-to-Income Ratio
Lenders use something called your debt-to-income (DTI) ratio to determine how your monthly debt payments compare to your monthly income. Your DTI should be around 43 percent. You can calculate it yourself:
DTI = Total Monthly Debt Payments / Gross Monthly Income
Add up all of your monthly debt payments, including your primary mortgage, student loans, car loan, credit card bills, alimony, child support, etc.
Divide the sum by your gross monthly income (your income before taxes and deductions).
Multiply by 100 to find your DTI.
Here’s an example. Imagine all your debts total $2,000 and you earn $5,000 a month before taxes, your DTI would be 40 percent.
Your Credit Score
Lenders will also be interested in learning more about your credit score. Simply put, if you want to obtain a home equity loan, your credit score should be 620 or higher. However, if other qualifications (like your DTI) are higher, a credit score a little lower than this might be overlooked. However, the higher your credit score, the lower your interest rate will be.
Next Steps
Reach out to various lenders to determine whether one of these options are right for you. Ask about:
Closing costs
Annual fees
Home appraisal expenses
Taxes
How long it will take to pay off your loan
Length of time to get a home equity loan, home equity line of credit (HELOC) or cash-out refinance
Private student loan options
The total cost you’ll need to repay
You don’t need to stick to the same lender that provided your primary mortgage. Reach out to other lenders (challenge yourself to look into five!) because others might offer better interest rates and terms.
Determine Whether to Tap into Home Equity for College
I tell everyone who will listen that I recently refinanced my home. The interest rate I got was so low I couldn’t believe it — I didn’t think interest rates could possibly get lower than 4.25 percent — our original interest rate. Now I’m the proud owner of a 2.25 percent interest rate mortgage!
So. Here’s the problem. You might start snoring hard every time you hear the words “home equity.” But don’t! It’s easy to plod along, which is what my husband and I were doing until I heard a podcast host say, “You need to look into refinancing. It could change your life.”
I stopped, mid-plod. “Whaaaaa???”
Now, a refinance is different from a home equity loan. But the point is, it’s easy to get complacent and not look into all your options. If I hadn’t listened to that podcast, we’d still be stuck with an interest rate that wasn’t right for us.
Do some careful searching to make sure that tapping into your home’s equity is the right way to go. Sure, interest rates might be lower than private student loans, but remember, your home is on the line.
“My child’s going to be a … freshman/sophomore/junior/senior/eighth grader!”
Has this realization hit home multiple times this summer?
Does it feel like life is going at warp speed? If so, I hear ya. I mean, wasn’t it just May? Uh, and wasn’t kindergarten a week ago?
Now that the start of the school year’s almost upon you (are you as nervous as me?), you may be faced with an unsettling feeling that has nothing to do with germs.
Your internal voice may be saying something like this: I haven’t saved much (if anything) for college.
You’re not the one with a block of ice in your stomach. After all, there’s nothing like the start of school to make this paralyzing realization hit hard.
It’s okay. You can still save for college, even if your child’s going to be a senior. It’s never, ever too late. Here are your options for college savings strategies — and keep reading for a quick win!
It might be hard to gather the excitement and momentum to save for college if you haven’t been doing it since your child was a baby. You miss out on compounding interest over time when you haven’t saved for years. (Compounding interest is additional interest added to the principal sum of your initial investment. In other words, it means interest on interest.)
But remember, 18 years is actually a relatively short amount of time compared to 30, 40 or more years — a lifetime of working and saving for retirement.
Something is better than nothing at all!
Here are some great reasons to save for college, even if it’s only a year away:
It’s a great idea to get in the habit of pretending like you’re making installment payments toward college. Do you know that your regular earnings have great power and potential? In other words, you can do a lot to contribute for college with your regular paycheck. An installment plan is a monthly payment plan that helps you pay for college, typically during an eight, nine or 10-month period. Saving for college before you make installment payments prepares or when you actually need to start making payments.
You may be able to amass a nice chunk of change. Like your parents always told you, it’s amazing to see what you can do when you set your mind to something. Start with a goal in mind and watch it blossom into a tangible amount of money. It’s amazing how much power a little idea generates!
Family members might be able to chip in. Many 529 plans make it easy for family and even friends to contribute. Sometimes, it’s just a matter of giving friends and family a link and a code to your child’s 529 account. (We’ll cover 529 plans in a sec.) The dollars can really start rolling in when you tell your child’s grandparents, aunts, uncles, godparents, church family — who else can you add to the list? Make it a policy that now that your child’s in high school or approaching high school, clothes and video games are not acceptable birthday or holiday gifts. Ask for money instead.
You might have already saved more money than you think. Did you know that you can use money from your Roth IRA tax-free to make payments for college? And you can use money already collecting dust in your savings account for college. It’s a matter of reframing your intentions and building even more momentum so you can save even more. But don’t stop saving, even if you realize you’ve got more in the hopper than you realized.
It’ll help your child take out fewer student loans. The more you pay out of pocket, the fewer loans you’ll need to cosign or that your child will need to take out. That’s a pretty good reason all by itself!
Now, onto my super secret quick win!
1. Here’s the Quick Win!
Here’s how to get a quick, quick, quick win. Will you promise you’ll do it with me? Okay, great!
UNest is awesome because it literally is so easy. You don’t have to fill out mounds of paperwork. You can choose investments based on your child’s age, add your bank account and you’re done. It takes minutes.
Friends, it’s literally that easy to set up a 529 plan.
Okay, so I can hear the rebuttals now: But what if I don’t want to use a 529 plan for my kids? What if I want something with more flexibility? I’m scared. I don’t like to make decisions like this.
Taking action is the antidote to fear and inaction. I know how easy it is to put something off because you’re scared of the unknown. Open that account anyway, and here are the next steps you can take.
2. Determine how much you can save per month.
Saving is a delicate balance of filling all the buckets, isn’t it? You’ve got the grocery bucket, mortgage bucket, car payment bucket, and on and on. Now that you have the college bucket, how much can you put in it?
Sometimes it’s easier to start small and work your way up. Don’t pledge right off the bat to save for every penny. (Remember, your child may get scholarships.) Sometimes those unattainable goals or seemingly impossible goals make us quit before we’ve even started.) Don’t do that to yourself. Make sure it’s attainable!
Also, only take into account reliable income when setting your goal. If you need to adjust your goal, that’s okay, as long as it’s realistic.
Here’s a common tripping-up point: How much should you save? Save as much as you possibly can! Your goal of saving for your child’s education is an admirable one.
3. Write it down!
Why is it that we’re more apt to scrape and pinch and divert money from one source to pay a bill but we don’t do the same to pay ourselves first?
For example, in my own life, we just paid our taxes (at the very last minute) but I made sure we had enough money in our checking account over the last couple of weeks to make it happen. What if I applied that same kind of care to making sure I saved extra throughout the year?
Pretend like saving for college is another obligation — and write down your goals! There’s so much power in writing it down. It can look something like this:
“I plan to save $1,000 every month for my child’s college education. I will not stop until I have $24,000 in an account.”
Writing down a goal helps you:
Reduce the possibility of failure. Specific goals — written down! — mean you’re more likely to achieve them because you have a constant reminder of what you’re working toward.
Focuses you: Life is crazy most days, right? Goals help you be more strategic because you can zoom in on what you want to achieve.
Measure your success: It’s easier to determine whether you’ve had success when you have goals you’ve started with. Nothing feels better than seeing how far you’ve come compared to where you started!
Keeps you motivated: You build momentum when you’re hitting your goals and feel like there’s nothing you can’t do. Think about the last time you worked really hard for something! How did you feel? Chase that feeling by setting goals and achieving them!
4. Choose the right college savings strategies for you.
You can find literally hundreds of investment options available to you, from state-sponsored 529 plans to regular savings accounts. Unfortunately, that’s part of the problem. The part that trips people up the most is not knowing where to put their money.
529 Plans
Wondering why the heck you’d open a 529 plan if it’s not going to gather much interest in just one or two years? Here’s a great reason: Opening up a 529 in one child’s name doesn’t mean that money needs to go to only that child. 529s can be transferred to your other children — or anyone else, like your niece or nephew.
You’ll be able to find two different types of 529 plans: prepaid tuition plans and education savings plans.
Prepaid tuition plans are plans in which you can pay in advance for all or part of the costs of attending a particular college. In other words, you can avoid future tuition jumps.
Education savings plans are a tax-advantaged savings account designed to be used for education expenses. You won’t pay income taxes on earnings as long as money stays in the account. When you pay for qualified education expenses (tuition, room, board, fees, books, etc.), those withdrawals may be federal income and state tax-free.
Pros:
All 50 states and the District of Columbia sponsor at least one type of 529 plan. Look into your state’s 529 plans for more information and to sign up or go to the handy UNest app for an even simpler experience.
The tax advantages are excellent!
Cons:
Funds must be used for qualified educational expenses.
You’ll pay fees for each type of plan.
You’ll also encounter some ownership rules. You (not your child!) gets to make decisions about how the money is used.
Roth IRAs
Just like with a 529 plan, you won’t pay income tax when you contribute to a Roth IRA. Your contributions and earnings grow tax-free. You can withdraw contributions at any time, for any reason, tax-free.
The annual contribution limit for 2020 is $6,000, or $7,000 if you’re 50 or older.
Pros:
The beauty of using a Roth IRA is that it has a dual purpose — you can save for retirement and college.
Cons:
Taking out too much from your Roth IRA could hurt your future retirement goals.
Contribution amounts are limited to annual maximums. You’ll also face income restrictions.
Coverdell Education Savings Accounts
A Coverdell education savings account (Coverdell ESA) is a trust or custodial account you can set up to pay qualified education expenses for your child. ESAs offer tax-free qualified withdrawals and contributions are limited to $2,000 per year and there are income limitations too.
Coverdell accounts can cover educational expenses from kindergarten all the way through grad school.
Pros:
Offers a wide variety of available investments and tax-free growth.
Offers more flexibility than 529 plans.
Cons:
The beneficiary changes are not as straightforward as with a 529 account and can vary by custodian (the financial firm hosting the account).
Growth potential isn’t as great.
All assets must be distributed to the beneficiary by age 30.
Other Investment Types
I’m going to list a few other types of investments you may want to look into:
Also, remember that there are no rules here. You can combine strategies — you can use a 529 plan and a Roth, CDs and ETFs.
Make Sure Your Goals are Achievable — You Can Do This!
Post a sticky note with your kiddo’s last school picture on it. Scribble “1,000 for college” on the note. Knowing your “why” will help you stay motivated in months that feel like a major challenge.
It’s not too late, and you can do this. Set that goal, attack it and keep moving forward. You can do it!
It’s July, and while it might seem like it’s a great time to catch up on Netflix, go to the pool and work at a summer job, why not get a jump start on college?
(I knoooow, convincing your high schooler might be a different story.) It’s even more important to start thinking about college now because we don’t know what college visits will look like for next year. Lots of colleges have closed up shop but many are still open for visitors. Take a quick peek at the list of schools open and closed to visitors from the National Association for College Admission Counseling (NACAC).
I reached out to a mom friend of mine who has a rising junior and asked her what her concerns are right now. She said, “Coronavirus has changed things. What should we do right now to get ready for college? It’s a little frustrating.”
I hear ya.
Here’s a quick list of items your child can consider doing (after lounging by the pool and taking lots of sips of fizzy lemonade, of course):
Get ready for the PSAT test and ACT or SAT tests (if required)
Start doing college visits (either in-person or virtual visits)
Consider the activities on that resume — and whether there are gaps
Put together a robust schedule of classes
Start a college list
Develop relationships with admission counselors
Now, one of the most important things you can do during this time as a parent is to make the college search exciting. The last thing you want to do is scare your child off before this process even begins!
Here’s how to help your child launch the college search this summer, even though things might not be (totally) normal.
You can find some great test prep resources for PSAT, SAT and ACT. Check out Amazon or your local bookstore. You can even check out the local library for these editions, though your child won’t be able to write in anything from the library, of course!
First, let’s define PSAT, ACT and SAT — it’s easy to confuse PSAT and SAT in particular.
PSAT: The PSAT’s formal name is the Preliminary SAT, also known as the PSAT/NMSQT (National Merit Scholarship Qualifying Test). It’s a great way to practice for the SAT exam. You can only take the PSAT once per year, and many students take the test in 10th and 11th grade.
ACT: The ACT is a standardized test used for college admission administered by the nonprofit organization, ACT. The ACT test covers four separate academic sections: English, mathematics, reading and science reasoning. Your child can also add an optional writing test. The 2020-2021 ACT costs $55 without writing and $70 with writing.
SAT: The SAT is a standardized test also used for college admission. It’s administered by the nonprofit organization The College Board. The SAT test covers 20 SAT Subject Tests in five general subject areas: English, history, languages, mathematics and science with an optional essay portion. The current SAT costs $52 without writing and $68 with the essay option.
Before your child cracks open some study books, check with the colleges your high schooler plans to apply to. Find out whether the college requires the ACT or SAT. Lots of colleges have waived the SAT and ACT for this year’s incoming class — and many are doing away with standardized testing altogether.
That doesn’t mean throwing test prep out the window or sidestepping a school that still requires it. It might be important to take it, particularly if a school shows up on your child’s radar this year or next and that requires the ACT or SAT.
Make a College Spreadsheet
I developed a very simple, easy-to-use College Money Tips College Visit spreadsheet. You can use this spreadsheet to keep track of the schools your child wants to visit on the left, and as you get knee-deep into visits later on this fall, use it to record things like application deadlines and more.
I believe one of the most important parts of the spreadsheet is the Heart/Gut Test. The former college president at my alma mater coined the Heart/Gut Test to talk to families during visit days and scholarship weekends. Sometimes you just know whether a college is a good match — parents usually feel it, too. There’s a section in the spreadsheet that references how a college felt. You can use this spreadsheet yourself or share it with your student.
Get the spreadsheet below — you’ll also get my free college money tips guide!
Complete Virtual or In-Person Visits
Visiting. Hmmm… It’s a bit of a head-scratcher right now, isn’t it? I understand — virtual summer visits aren’t really ideal. But guess what? There were already several disadvantages about summer visits, anyway. Truth be told, nothing beats a college visit during the fall. Crunching through leaves, watching students hurry to classes — it’s simply the best atmosphere.
Here’s one example of why I believe summer visits aren’t the best: You typically only see staged residence hall rooms. In fact, I was the one in charge of that when I worked in admission! I’d send two or three summer student workers to three of our residence halls to stage rooms using donated items from Bed, Bath and Beyond! It was tons of fun to decorate the rooms but the staged room always seemed… fake and empty, not homey. Here are some other reasons summer visits are less than ideal:
Fewer students live on campus during the summer, so you don’t get the “real” feel of what a college is like.
Tour guides are usually the only students you can really interact with.
Normally, fewer classes are in session anyway, so you’d have limited opportunities to sit in on classes.
Many buildings remain closed to tours.
Professors and department chairs are not around to chat with during the summer.
So, my point is, if you have to do a virtual visit right now, sure, you’re at a disadvantage because you can’t see the campus in person — but summer visits were disadvantageous anyway.
Now, if you have the chance to set up a visit for your child, should you do it? Of course! And if you want to do a virtual visit, here are the perks of virtual visits right now:
You’ll get to see what every part of the campus looks like, even areas closed down during the summer, like the dining hall.
You don’t have to worry about finding a parking spot, fighting traffic and driving or flying to get there. You can watch from anywhere!
It’s less nerve-wracking. If I had a dime for every nervous parent and student that used to walk into the admission office…
You don’t have to worry about the weather. (There’s nothing worse than visiting a campus in the pouring rain or driving sleet or snow!)
Hear me say this: If you have the chance to do an in-person visit this summer, do it. We don’t know what the fall will look like, and being in person on a college visit is better than not doing a college visit at all. Sometimes you just have to take what you can get.
Call the admission office at schools your child is interested in. Ask about:
Tours
Talking with an admission counselor
Scheduling a meeting with a coach
Communicating with a professor about a major — take a look at this great college major quiz before you go!
The nice thing about being a rising junior is that your student still has time. Do what you can now and know that there’s still another year ahead to go on visits.
Learn More About College Requirements and Scholarships
It’s never too early to start searching for scholarships and helping your child learn everything you possibly can about colleges.
There’s no reason your child can’t start applying for scholarships. It’s a myth that seniors are the only ones who can submit scholarship applications. Research a scholarship that’s promising and have your child apply. Why not?
Summer is a great time to learn more about colleges! High school juniors have a busy upcoming year — lots of extracurricular activities, tough classes, standardized tests and more. Help your student learn as much as possible right now.
Talk About College Money
Talking about money might not be your favorite subject. Your kiddo may not be interested in talking about it at all.
The conversation doesn’t have to last for hours! Grab a quick snippet of time to chat about:
College costs in general
How much money you think you might be able to contribute toward college costs
How much your child must contribute to college costs
An explanation of loans and how they work
How scholarships and grants help offset the cost of college and why it’s important to make them a priority
Those are just a few topics that can jumpstart your conversation. Make sure to have the whole family involved — and leave plenty of time for more conversations later on.
It’s okay to hit the pause button if your child doesn’t want to talk. You still have time to have lots of conversations!
Make it Fun, Make it Exciting
It might seem like there’s lots to do! Now’s the time to get started. Don’t forget to make it fun! Include rewards whenever possible. Go out to eat at a restaurant of your child’s choice after your child completes a really gnarly scholarship application or treat your daughter to Starbucks — and have the money talk there.
How will you get some heavy research out of the way together so the upcoming year is smooth sailing for you and your rising junior?
Joan Halawi said, “A common misconception in modern American society is that education can only happen within four walls of a classroom.”
Oh, wow. How true is that? It certainly makes the case for heavily considering a gap year.
A gap year — a year off from college to gain perspective and develop occupational skills — is a great option if your child needs an extra year of growth. Taking a gap year is popular in Europe. I remember asking, “Gap year? What’s that?” when I studied in England and heard that almost all people take one. I literally had no idea what it meant.
A gap year can be a great opportunity for your child to slow down and consider what he or she wants out of life (don’t we all need that?!). Your child may want to work (and save money for college), tap into rich experiences, grow more introspective and/or develop new skills.
Here are a couple of examples:
Katie is nervous about going off to college. She’s also always wanted to spend time composing and developing her piano skills. She really wants to continue lessons with her current teacher.
Jake, on the other hand, isn’t sure what he wants his major to be. He hasn’t applied for college yet and he’s going to take a year to “find himself” and determine what he wants his future to look like. In the meantime, he’s going to work at his dad’s accounting firm to decide whether he’s interested in taking over the business someday (though he’s really doubtful). He’s also going to hike and do some backcountry camping in Alaska next summer with a friend (his ultimate passion!).
A deferral is when a student decides to delay his or her start date by a semester or two. It’s different from a gap year, which is a full-year deferral and often involves enrichment, fellowship or other such program.
Here’s how to help your child take a gap year or deferral — successfully.
1. Help your child understand what he or she will do during gap year.
First of all, why does your child want to take a gap year? A gap year or deferral should involve accomplishing specific tasks or doing something with purpose.
There are lots of ways to use a gap year or deferral. Is there something your child wants to study on his own? Does she want to start a new venture? Get some work hours under her belt so she has more money for college? Here’s a great list of things your student can do during a gap year or deferral:
Attack a project that’s been sitting on the backburner (restore a Model T, write a book, etc.)
Write, compose, practice whatever skills your child wants to tackle
Learn new problem-solving skills
Travel
Complete an experiential learning program/hands-on learning program
Do an internship
Volunteer
Do a mission trip (or several)
Needless to say, it’s important to make it clear to your child that taking a gap year isn’t an excuse to sit around playing video games for a year.
Explore those deeper reasons for wanting to take a gap year together, because any college is going to want to hear why your child’s planning to do a gap year or plans to defer enrollment. Your child is going to need to have a very focused, careful answer.
2. Explain how a gap year might be challenging.
It’s important to convey to your child that since most other kids your child’s age aren’t taking a gap year (at least, in the U.S.) he or she might feel like a fish out of water. How will your child feel when his friends are going off to college? How will your child feel when high school friends are posting about fun times at their respective schools and he’s tinkering with science experiments in the basement or working the late shift at the grocery store?
If he’s got entrepreneurial ambitions, how will he feel if his business isn’t going as well as he thought it would? (Protecting that young confidence can be important.)
A gap year might not be the shiny offering that your child thought it was — and it’s important to share with your child that it might be difficult. Adapting to change might be a great thing to talk about prior to this major decision.
However, it could be the best thing ever. Sometimes change can be monumental!
There’s evidence that a gap year has specific reported outcomes. A gap year, and in some cases, deferred enrollment, can:
Boost a resume. Who can deny how an internship as a page at the Capitol or implementing a program for the homeless can look amazing on the ol’ resume?
Lead to increased job satisfaction. A gap year with real-world experience can clue your child into what he wants to do for the rest of his life (or even what he doesn’t want to do). Our college president always used to tell students at visit days that an internship where you learn exactly what you don’t want to do is just as valuable as an internship that you love.
Increase confidence and maturity. Learning how to get along in the world at a young age can make your child feel like he’s got the world at his feet.
Allow time for personal reflection and growth.
Help develop communication skills.
Increase a student’s desire to learn about various people and cultures.
However, the experience might not end up getting your child all of those things, and that’s okay. It might just be meh — but it might still be a good learning experience.
3. Get admitted, then defer enrollment.
Where is your student in the search process? As a rising senior, your child may be planning to take a gap year after this year.
It’s a great idea to work to get admitted to college starting now. Determine when a college’s applications are due, whether standardized tests are needed and more.
How to Communicate to Admission Offices About Gap Year or Deferred Enrollment
Your child will need to make a good case for a gap year decision. A gap year or deferred enrollment won’t hurt your child’s admission prospects at all as long as your child thinks carefully about how the experience will intentionally help him grow. Here are the steps your child will need to take:
Make sure your student applies to college before the gap year.
Get accepted at that college.
Next, your child will need to send an email or letter to the director of admission at that college to explain exactly what he or she plans to do during gap year. Check out the Gap Year Association for college and university policies concerning gap years. Double-check for the most updated policies at your child’s school.
Submit the enrollment deposit. This amount will be different at every school.
Determine the effects deferral will have on your child’s financial aid or scholarships. Every school is different! Many schools will allow you to keep the same financial aid and scholarships but it could change year to year. Check with the admission office at your child’s school.
Have your child find out whether the institution offers some form of gap year fellowship or subsidy program. Yep, it’s possible to get funded for a gap year!
Note that the school has the right to deny your gap year. If that happens, your child has a few options:
Your child can decide to attend the college as scheduled and not take the gap year.
Your student could wait and reapply to college until after the gap year. The downside is that your child may not be able to start college for another two years, which could end up making the transition a bit more difficult. Transcripts, test scores and letters of recommendation may also be more difficult to come by.
It may make sense to apply to multiple colleges and ask about gap year policies at each one.
The process for deferring enrollment is largely the same. Just make sure you ask careful questions about deferment policies at each school where your child has applied.
4. Set targets way before (and during) gap year.
Stephen Kellogg said it best: “The moment you put a deadline on a dream, it becomes a goal.”
Wouldn’t it be fantastic if your child started to launch those dreams during gap year? Why not now?
You know a year dedicated to watching Netflix won’t help your student, so it’s time to put some specific goals in writing organized by target date. For example, let’s say your daughter wants to take a stab at freelance writing during a deferment. She may want to consult with a freelance writer and map out the year in a nutshell:
September: Talk to three freelance writers about their craft. Learn to write a good pitch and send five pitches per day.
October: Create a website and social media channels for advertising freelance skills. Pitch to marketing agencies.
November: Write successful stories based on pitch results. Continue to pitch.
… and so on. Whatever those goals may be, make sure your child writes them down and has someone who will hold her accountable to those goals. Maybe it’s you and maybe it’s better if it’s someone else.
5. Make sure certain skills aren’t lost.
Your child may be planning to be a math major in college, but what happens if she isn’t taking math classes during gap year? Those calculus skills could slip right through your kid’s fingertips. It’s a great idea to add a benchmark to keep with those skills in some way.
However, know that your student may not be able to take classes, enroll in a degree-granting program at another institution or apply to other colleges during gap year or deferment. Your child could lose his spot in the class if he does. Ask about institutional policies concerning gap year or deferment.
Is it Too Late to Ask for a Gap Year for this Fall?
The only thing you can do is ask. In some cases, the door’s still wide open!
Whether your child has ambitious dreams to transform the world or just wants to earn some money before she spends four years in a lecture hall, being out in the real world can be a transformational experience.
Heavily consider pros and cons, goals and what your student wants to achieve prior to opting for a gap year or deferment. Make sure your child will head off to college after a year. The worst thing that could happen is that your child decides never to go at all.
Here’s something I witnessed in the admission office many, many times: Parents playing an active role in the college search. It’s natural, right? We worked with families, not just students.
What happens when the student wants you to do it all? I saw a lot of this:
Parents who called me in the admission office (not their student).
Emails from parents with questions (I never heard from their kid).
Parents who filled out applications for their kids (it was sometimes obvious!)
Now, to be fair, students sometimes messaged me. The occasional student even talked to me on the phone.
One mom, Mrs. Bach, left me this voicemail: “This is Mrs. Bach, Emily’s secretary. Emily refuses to pick up the phone, so I’m calling to ask questions about your college’s music scholarship.”
It made me smile, but I also know Mrs. Bach was slowly being driven crazy by her daughter’s reluctance to handle her own college communication.
What should you do when your kid wants you to be a helicopter parent? (Maybe not even consciously?) I know you’ve probably heard this term before, but just in case: Helicopter parents before college hover and take care of every part of their child’s life. On the other hand, lawnmower parents mow down any person or obstacle that stands in the way of anyone or anything that causes their child discomfort or frustration.
Here are a few tips to set expectations, goals and work together. You may want your child to do most of the work but you may also know there are things (like the FAFSA) that may require you to lend a hand.
Make sure your child knows your comfort level with helping in advance. For example, you can tell your high schooler you’re definitely on board to assist during the college search process but you’re not going to do everything for him. Explain your reasoning and explain your limits way before the college search begins.
Remind your high schooler that completing college admission requirements, scholarships and more doesn’t mean he’s overburdened. Instead, explain that he’s gaining the mental strength he needs to get ready for college.
2. Divvy Up Responsibilities
Decide ahead of time who will handle specific parts of the college search. For example, you might decide you can handle the following:
Go to scholarship events at the college (if applicable)
Scholarship searches
Talk through financial aid awards
Obviously, you can pick and choose which tasks make the most sense for each of you. Your child may be completely fine with scheduling college visits on his own and doing robust scholarship searches.
No matter what, figure all this out ahead of time and gently hold each other accountable.
3. Set Goals Together
Setting goals together is different than splitting up responsibilities. Setting goals during the college search is a great way to make sure you’re on track. The beauty of goal-setting is that you can kick start it at any time, whether you’ve got a year left in the college search process or three. For example, let’s say your child is a junior in high school. You can map out goals over the next two years. Let’s say you’ve got twin eighth graders. Why not set some loose goals for the next four years?
Make sure your goals are specific, detailed and indicate when you’d like to accomplish them.
Let’s say one of your high schooler’s goals is to get into a prestigious university. He could even write it down: “Get into Carnegie Mellon.” But would that actually help him? Nah. A general phrase like that won’t help your child (or you!) hone in on exactly what you both need to do in order to make that happen.
Instead, research what it will take to get there. For example, let’s say you look up Carnegie Mellon’s requirements for the School of Architecture. You find out that your child must:
Apply Regular Decision before January 1 during senior year using the Common Application.
Submit a portfolio of creative work for admission to the school of architecture.
Complete an on-campus review of the portfolio submission.
What will it take to get there?
Here are some targeted goals your child could write:
Take an architecture software class at the local community college by May of sophomore year.
Talk to an architect in my community who can advise me on how to put together an architecture portfolio and assist with a project by June of sophomore year.
Design several small buildings using this software during junior year.
Design my aunt’s new home that she’s planning to build during junior year.
Create a portfolio that showcases design creativity and technical expertise in several types of architecture software like Grasshopper or Rhino3D fall of senior year.
Did you notice goal No. 1 on the list? It’s a goal that allows your child to take immediate action. Taking an immediate step toward a major goal makes it more real and builds momentum toward the ultimate goal.
Here’s a way you can apply it in another way. Let’s say your child has always wanted to travel to Europe with a friend, spouse orother family member. What’s one immediate step she could take to make it happen?
Call a travel agent today and discuss your future plans.
Request a brochure from a travel company.
Set a date within 24 hours. Why not?
See how doing those three things can make something seem so real for your child?
Your child can set small, realistic, specific and attainable goals that lead to the big goal in the end — getting into Carnegie Mellon. Or achieving a specific scholarship — or whatever that goal may be!
4. Write Down Those Goals!
Encourage your child to write down his or her goals. There’s such power in writing down goals! Put them in a place where you’ll both see them every day, whether they’re on a Post-it Note stuck to the bathroom mirror or a printed-out list on the refrigerator (as long as your child doesn’t see them as a constant nagging reminder!).
Trello, a free service, is a great way to handle scholarship applications or college applications. It could include categories like this:
Scholarships to apply for/ Applications to complete
In progress
Draft complete
In editing
Ready to submit
Submitted
Trello is a great way to keep track of progress and all family members can use it to aid the college search.
5. Acknowledge Steps Taken
Once you and your child have set those goals, it’s time to tackle them. Now, what happens if your child finds that his or her goals are difficult to achieve?
Break them down into smaller, more manageable chunks. This might take a little more planning but it’s always better to make sure goals are achievable. Otherwise, it would be really easy to give up on them. Be flexible with due dates if it’s an option.
Every time your child achieves one of his or her goals or mini-goals, celebrate! Acknowledging achievements goes a very, very long way during the college search.
6. Pivot When Goals Aren’t Met
What happens if a goal slips right past your child because he just didn’t feel like doing the work or is unable to complete it in the allotted time?
For example, what if your child doesn’t want to do the work to get into Carnegie Mellon’s architecture program?
It might be time to go back to the drawing board and figure out whether that’s really your child’s best path. Maybe committing to an architecture major at 18 isn’t the best option! Get to the root of the problem — have some serious conversations with your child and decide what you’ll do next.
So what do you do?
You move forward with the next plan. Maybe the next goal is to apply to Carnegie Mellon using the Common Application after August 15. Maybe the new goal is to get into Arcadia University, closer to home! Break down those goals, write down the new goals and move forward.
Nip Helicoptering (or Lawnmowering) in the Bud
Your child may be used to your heavy helping hand (remember that science fair project? Yikes!) but now’s the time for your child to start learning how to move independently. Recognizing that deserves a huge round of applause.
One more quick tip: It might not help to air frustrations during this time. You want to be as positive as possible during the college search and you want to be your child’s partner during the process. Remember, your goals may not be the same as your child’s goals. It can be tough to wrap your head around (and tough to accept!) alternative decisions.
What are your immediate thoughts and feelings when you think about this?
Do you feel excitement for the years ahead? Sad at the idea of being an empty nester? Do you feel a deep spike of fear when you consider how you’ll pay for it? Maybe you feel all of the above!
Hang in there — it’s normal to feel a rollercoaster of emotions.
I’ll always remember the unforgettable Andriuskevicius triplets. (That last name! Three times!) The three high schoolers came through the admission office looking so identical. It was so fun talking with them. Two of the kids ended up enrolling at the private college I worked for. One enrolled at a state university.
Their parents got slightly nervous when the conversation turned to paying for college. “You know, we knew this was coming,” Mrs. Andriuskevicius said. “But when they say, ‘Enjoy it, they grow so fast,’ they really mean it,” she added.
She was a fun mom (she had to be, to raise triplets!) and asked how much it would cost immediately. She listened to the financial aid spiel and did some fast math. Mrs. Andriuskevicius totaled up a pretty accurate figure in her head about much it would cost for all three kids to go to college — after grants and scholarships.
According to College Board, the average published yearly tuition and fees (not including room, board, housing or supplies) are:
Two-year public colleges (in-district students): $3,440
Four-year public colleges (in-state students): $9,410
Four-year public colleges (out-of-state students): $23,890
Private four-year colleges: $32,410
Multiply these amounts by two (or three or four!) kids and you could be looking at quite a chunk of change, as Mrs. Andriuskevicius deduced in about one minute flat. (I was really impressed.)
Did you know that it having two kids in college can work to your advantage?
“In my experience, the FAFSA’s expected family contribution (EFC) takes a significant drop when the second and third child enter college,” says Pam Rambo, former financial aid director in a community college, four-year college and a 5-city college access organization training counselors in financial aid. She now owns Rambo Research and Consulting.
The EFC is based on household income and assets. It’s the minimum amount that a household is expected to contribute toward the cost of college.
The financial aid office at each college uses the EFC for each student to determine how much aid your student gets. “That is a simple subtraction problem in which they take the official cost of attendance (COA) for their school and subtract the EFC,” Rambo says.
In other words, let’s say your student is attending a college that costs $30,000 per year and your child’s EFC is $15,000. The amount of need for your oldest child is $15,000.
Now, that doesn’t mean that all financial aid offices try to meet the full $15,000. Each financial aid office uses a financial aid formula that they use to distribute aid. Some colleges try to meet 100 percent of need. Others might meet 50 percent to 80 percent of need.
Check for a Sibling Discount
Have your kids considered going to the same college?
Whenever I think about this topic, Michelle, Maye and Rachael all come to mind — three sisters who attended the college I worked for — all at the same time. Michelle was a senior, Maye was a junior and Rachael was a freshman! They always said their dad (jokingly) refused to move three girls to three separate colleges each fall. It worked out really well that they all went to the same college.
I Know What You’re Thinking: “There’s No Way My Kids Will Go to the Same School!”
You might think there’s no way your kids will go to the same school: “They’re like oil and water! There’s no way they’ll end up on the same campus!” But the reality is that older siblings do have an influence on younger siblings, according to a working paper released by the National Bureau of Economic Research.
In addition, a study by Joshua Goodman of Brandeis University, Michael Hurwitz of the College Board, Christine Mulhern of Harvard University and Jonathan Smith of Georgia State University found that when older siblings enroll at a target college, it “nearly quadruples” the probability that younger siblings will apply to that same school. In addition, 13 percent of younger siblings follow their older sibling to the target college only because their older sibling enrolled there.
The benefit? Cost reductions.
“If the children are entering the same college, I have seen very favorable treatment in terms of the financial aid package offered,” Rambo adds. She says there’s no fixed dollar amount for the reduction because the reduction depends on financial information from each family.
“I like to address the fear of parents of freshmen, sophomores and juniors with a plan to apply where their aid awards will be greatest in relation to the cost of the colleges. Looking at whether colleges collect even more data about a family by requiring the CSS Profile is another strategy,” she says.
The CSS Profile, short for the College Scholarship Service Profile, is an online application created and maintained by the College Board. It allows college students to apply for non-federal financial aid and requires a much more comprehensive overview than the FAFSA. Nearly 400 colleges and scholarship programs use it to award non-federal aid. Check with the admission office of the schools your chid is applying to to determine whether your child needs to fill out the CSS Profile.
Filing the FAFSA
Does it change the FAFSA with more than one student in college? Rambo says that in addition to other calculations, the FAFSA collects information on the number of minor children in the family who will also be attending an undergraduate program at the same time and figures that into the formula, which is used to calculate the EFC for each child headed to college.
A frequent surprise for families with two children in college: Each child has a different EFC number. “They ask, ‘How is this possible when we entered our same income information for both?’” Rambo says.
The answer is simple: Student income and bank balances can make a difference.
How Many FAFSAs Do You Need to Complete for Multiple Kids?
This is a great (and common!) question. You’ll need to fill out FAFSA forms for each child but can transfer the information from one form to another so you don’t have to completely start from scratch each time you work on the FAFSA.
But wait! Before you file the FAFSA, you’ll need to get separate FSA IDs for each child. An FSA ID is a username and password combination that serves as your legal electronic signature throughout the financial aid process. You and each of your children will need your own FSA ID.
Your FSA ID is associated with your Social Security number and is equivalent to your legal signature. That’s why you must have a special FSA ID per person. You’ll use the same FSA ID to sign each of your children’s FAFSA forms.
Get Excited!
Don’t forget to do a few things methodically:
Look for lower-priced schools.
Put an emphasis on having your child help earn money throughout school.
Consider ways to earn more or make more money.
Consider federal loans over private loans. The Parent Loan for Undergraduate Students (PLUS loan) is an excellent option if you’re willing to take out a little bit more for college. for the freshman year and work with the college aid and scholarship offices to find additional funds for sophomore year and beyond. Learn how to apply for the Parent PLUS loan.
Remember that you don’t have to come up with the full amount yourself. Many colleges offer steep discounts!
“You might find that if you’re a high-income earner and your child has already been accepted at a high-dollar university which only awards need-based aid, you may not see much help with the first child who enrolls there. That will improve some when a second child goes to college,” Rambo says.
It Takes Planning
Every dollar you save is $1 less that you or your child will have to borrow. (Yep, I’ll bring out the “a penny saved…” adage. Those pennies really do add up, even after just a couple of years!)
Most families end up covering just over 40% of college costs with a combination of savings and income, according to a national study by Ipsos and Sallie Mae. Your child will likely get scholarships, grants and loans as well.
What can you do as a parent?
Don’t forget about how helpful meeting with a financial advisor can be. If you can, do it before your first child’s a senior so you can develop a comprehensive plan to determine what’s best for your family’s financial circumstances. In some cases, financial advisors can recommend how to reallocate your assets, which can be helpful before you file the FAFSA. (It can help you qualify for more aid.)
Also, don’t discount your earning power. Your earning power may be tremendous during the course of a 10-month period. Remember that you can always figure out how much your paycheck can cover and submit money (even if it’s just a little bit!) to help pay for college.
You Can Do This!
I always admire the Andriuskevicius triplets’ parents because they handled having three kids in school all at once with such grace. They took a deep breath and handled the costs through a combination of grants, scholarships, cash and loans. All three kids made it through college (and incidentally, the “oldest” triplet ended up student teaching in my daughter’s first-grade classroom. A fun connection!
Thinking about putting more than one student in college at once can feel like plopping yourself into an icy stream. But it’s doable. Jigsaw the puzzle of all the options together. Consider how you can break it down, and remember, having more than one student in school can be a benefit, not a drawback.
I loved move-in day at our college. As admission counselors, we’d walk around the campus with our list of students. We’d find them in their assigned residence halls and welcome them as they lugged their futons and TVs from the car. We shook hands with their grinning dads and teary moms and even wore shirts that read, “Put Box Here” so families would, indeed, put boxes in our arms.
It was so exciting and always felt like a real celebration.
I can’t help but imagine the booooorrrrring move-in day this year. What’s it going to be like? Masks instead of “Put Box Here” tees? No more cookies and lemonade? Sanitized residence hall keys? (Well, actually, yes, I hope all of those things happen.)
Fall semester normally happens around Labor Day, and for many schools, that’s still the case. Of course, this year presents some stickier situations. You may have painstakingly helped your child make a college decision pre-COVID-19. Now, are you sure it was the right one?
One mom of a soon-to-be first-year student said to me, “My daughter heard from her university that they will have staggered eating times in the dining hall and they’re looking into possibly staggering the days of the week that kids attend face-to-face classes. I’m not sure whether the school itself is making the right decisions. I’m tempted to have my daughter sit out for this whole year, but I’m not sure that’s the best approach, either.”
Here are some truths:
Nobody really knows how this virus will behave over the coming months.
You may not know what to do.
It’s really easy to feel uncertain when you read expert opinions that explicitly state that it’s a mistake to go back to college in the fall. (There are some out there!)
Two-thirds of colleges are planning to welcome back students in person, while only seven percent are planning to hold classes only online, according to the Chronicle of Higher Education, which is tracking the plans of lots of institutions.
Let’s say the school your child is planning to attend intends to open per usual. Should your child go? Luckily, there’s more than one option. You may have strong opinions (and so might your student!) which may require lots of family discussions.
Option #1: Your Child Can Attend College as Originally Planned
Your child can certainly attend the school he originally chose as a high school senior, but life on campus will be very different. He might not even realize how drastic the changes might be. Here are some changes you can discuss with your soon-to-be first year (though all of this might be hard to visualize):
Temperatures will be checked daily.
Students may have to sign a housing contract and anyone who signs may not get a room.
Your child may be required to wear a face mask indoors except in residence hall rooms or bathrooms.
Your student will be required to physically distance from everyone.
Anyone who doesn’t comply with the rules may face ejection from campus.
Gatherings and extracurricular activities will be banned or limited.
Dining hall food options will be only for grab-and-go items and there will be no bunched groups in any cafeterias. You may see staggered meal times.
Social distancing will be imposed between professors and students.
Students will only be allowed to enter and exit in certain doorways.
Commons areas will be closed.
Not everyone may go back to campus. Some campuses have discussed only having freshmen and seniors back on campus.
In an effort to prepare, some schools have even mailed special coronavirus kits to students, complete with face masks, thermometers and more.
For those that will open, when is fall semester in college this year? Your child may not start till October or later as colleges and universities work to prioritize the health and safety of students, staff, faculty and their communities.
Option #2: Your Child Can Opt for Online Classes
If the school your child plans to attend is open and teaching online, your student can choose to stay home and take online classes.
Note that while colleges and universities should be commended for a quick shift to online learning this past spring, the majority of that transition happened quickly. In addition, most students had already been on campus for a half of a semester and those students were familiar with the professor and how each class was being taught.
In other words, online learning may not be a great start to a first-year experience. It’ll be more difficult for students to tap into writing, tutoring, career counseling and other resources instrumental to student success. This can be a major hurdle for vulnerable students.
Furthermore, studies have shown that students who attend video lectures on the internet end up with a lower average test score, according to the Chronicle of Higher Education. One particular study showed that Hispanic students, male students and students with low ACT scores and GPAs didn’t fare as well.
Option #3: Your Student Can Choose a Different, Less Expensive College and Do Online Classes There
The benefit to this is, of course, is that it’s cheaper! (A great reason to celebrate, right?!)
The danger of this option (in my opinion) is that your student might never go back to the school he or she originally chose. This may be unfortunate if your family carefully chose the original school.
The less expensive school may have wonderful programs and have every bit as wonderful of resources as the original school. However, make sure the following are available:
A high four-year graduation rate
High retention rate after freshman year (in other words, do students go back after freshman year?)
High internship and job placement rate
Transferable AP and college credits (particularly if your child wants to transfer back to the original college) — you’ve got to do deep research here!
Quality of online instruction may need to be evaluated
More elite (read: more expensive) colleges aren’t always better. I always chuckle when I come across this older study, from 1999:
Alan Krueger and Stacy Berg Dale compared students who entered Ivy League and similar schools in 1976 with students who entered less prestigious colleges the same year. Krueger and Dale studied what happened to students who were accepted at an Ivy or a similar institution, but chose instead to attend a moderately selective school.
Here’s the kicker: These students had the same income 20 years later as the elite college grads. Krueger and Dale found that for students bright enough to win admission to a top school, later income “varied little, no matter which type of college they attended.”
The student was responsible for the success — not the school.
I think that’s a great reminder in this context.
Option #4: Your Student Can Take a Gap Year
I’ve never actually been a huge fan of taking a gap year between high school and college. I always considered a gap year to be a great way to lose focus and never go to college. Several of my work-study seniors would take a gap year between college and graduate school and that’s a different story. I loved it when they did that because they already had their degrees.
This year, my opinion changed. If there was any other time to take a gap year, this is it.
By the way, what’s the techy definition of a gap year? In short, it’s a semester or year of experiential learning, typically taken after high school, usually prior to postsecondary education, to deepen professional and personal awareness.
Aaaand, what’s the No. 1 thing you usually associate a gap year with? Yep, travel. Gap years usually mean backpacking Europe, mission trips to South America and more. That probably won’t happen this year. So, here’s what your child’s gap year could look like this year:
Learn a new language. (Admittedly, you could argue that you can do that in college.) If your child wants to tackle it, he can check out courses on Udemy or Coursera.
Become more familiar with a subject your child has always wanted to know more about. Now’s the time to become self-directed.
Cultivate soft skills! Oh, my goodness, soft skills are so important. Cross-cultural communication, problem-solving, adaptability! Why not build and nurture soft skills during a gap year? Emotional intelligence looks splendid on a resume — why not work on it?
Launch those entrepreneurial endeavors. Why not encourage starting a business? If you’ve noticed that your child is entrepreneurial by nature (remember how he sold or traded his snacks at summer camp and came home with a really great baseball glove?) you might encourage those entrepreneurial skills. There’s no question that COVID-19 has been terrible, but it’s also provided more opportunities than ever for entrepreneurs. Now’s the time to figure out what people are missing and need.
Chill out from academics for a while. This can be a good thing if your child’s not going to do well with online learning. Remember, it can be more difficult if you child can’t tap into a writing center, tutor (or flesh-and-blood instructors!) and other resources instrumental to student success.
A gap year can give your child the opportunity to learn about opportunities. Why not learn at an early age that life is so goooood?
Making the Decision
So, knowing all this, what should your child do? How can you help your student decide?
It’s really going to be important to have lots of discussions. You may have one idea about how this fall will go in your head and your child might have a completely different idea. “Mom, I signed up to go to this college — why don’t you want me to go? I’ll wear my mask!”
On the other hand, your child might say, “I don’t want to go to school there. It’s not going to look the same at all as our visit.” In that case, your child will be totally right — but you still might want him to go to college because you’re not sure if he’ll have the same motivation a year from now.
What to Do if You Clash Over a Final Approach
Contact the college if you, your child and your family are having a hard time making a final decision about what to do. The college wants to know what your concerns are and wants to do whatever it can to help you.
It’s okay to get help beyond that. Talk to your spouse or partner, parents, friends, a mental health counselor. Remember one of the truths I listed at the top? Here it is again: You may not know what to do — and that’s okay.
Start a lengthy conversation with your child and listen. Listen, listen, listen. Remember, whatever decision you make doesn’t have to be permanent. Your child can still go to the college he originally planned to attend, even if it’s just a little later on.
