College Money Tips Consulting
College Students and Mental Health: The Psychological Impact of College Stress
According to the Academic Stress and Mental Well-Being in College Students: Correlations, Affected Groups, and COVID-19 research, “academic stress may be the single most dominant stress factor that affects the mental well-being of college students. Even though college years are usually portrayed as exciting with new opportunities and experiences, academic pressure is also part of the process.
Unfortunately, high expectations can contribute to anxiety, stress, depression and other mental health conditions. Understanding the psychological impact of stress caused by the environment of higher education is essential in order to address and combat the challenges of mental health and college students combo like a pro.
Why Do Students Feel Overwhelmed?
Life’s journey is multi-sided, and so are the challenges, including college students and mental health. The sources of academic pressure may vary, from too much work that makes students seek essay, research paper and dissertation writing services to personal issues, homesickness, procrastination and more. The most common reasons for overwhelming feelings include:
- Work/load dilemma: Undergrads usually have to deal with a hectic academic schedule, requiring them to juggle various exams, tests, projects and assignments they should complete to keep up with the curriculum.
- Sky-high expectations: Professors, tutors, family members and friends create an overwhelming sense of responsibility in young people who are afraid to take the wrong step and fail.
- Lack of money: Financial troubles, the rising cost of education and the money they need to live independently can create anxiety and insecurity.
- 24/7 competition: In many educational institutions, young people find themselves stuck in a kind of race. Every day is like a new level in a computer game, where you have to do your best no matter what. Grades, part-time job opportunities, internships and finding-yourself dilemmas are just a couple of competitive areas.
- Work-life balance: Intense college demands mean too little time for socializing with friends, having some me-time and relaxing. Many students feel emotionally exhausted and face burnout as a result.
- Poor time management skills: Many college students have not the slightest idea of how to manage their precious time properly, so it is easy to overschedule yourself without noticing it.
The Psychological Cost Students Pay for Academic Stress
Some stress is natural and motivates us to keep going, succeed and reach the stars. However, the reality is that persistent stress can become a huge obstacle in academic life, affecting students’ performance and overall desire to progress. Not only is college stress quite real, but it also causes a range of issues:
- Anxiety and depression: If your child suffers from nonstop stress, anxiety and depressive disorders may develop. Your child may experience sadness, abnormal fatigue, worry, lack of motivation to keep going and difficulty focusing on the simplest tasks. Being totally overwhelmed by routine tasks, undergrads tend to have regular panic attacks.
- Burnout: Different types of pressures in both academic and extracurricular niches can become the main causes for burnout. The latter usually has the following symptoms: class performance drops, your child feels emotional exhaustion and may have a strong sense of detachment from studies and social activities.
- Low self-esteem: Pressure can ruin self-confidence, making your child doubt their abilities and self-worth.
- Sleeping too little/too much: Sleep patterns can get seriously disrupted due to constant stress. As a result, students suffer from excessive sleeping or insomnia. Both issues have a negative impact on physical and mental well-being.
- Substance use: Young people may turn to drugs, alcohol, or too much caffeine in order to combat stress. Unfortunately, substance abuse doesn’t help solve problems. Instead, they tend to multiply.
- Health problems: When suffering from chronic stress, your child’s immune system weakens, which means they’re more prone to illnesses, headaches, digestive problems, etc.
Learn more: Myths about the College Search and Planning for Multiple Kids in College
How to De-Stress in College
What can your child do to battle anxieties and keep their stress at manageable levels? Let’s take a look.
1. Sleep!
Your child may miss sleep with an overpacked schedule. But dealing with college tasks and responsibilities can be tough when sleep-deprived. In order to stay productive and avoid stress, encourage your child to get seven or eight hours of sleep.
2. Regular Exercise
One of the best ways to blow off steam is by doing regular workouts. College and university students who put physical activities on their to-do lists tend to suffer from stress less frequently in contrast to those who do not exercise. Encourage them to choose the physical activity that works best for them. It can be yoga, swimming, walking, biking or anything else they like. Just move!
3. Breathe In, Breathe Out
Encourage your child to try breathing techniques. Your child can try box breathing, belly breathing, alternate-nostril breathing or anything else that helps relieve stress in minutes, especially before a test or exam.
4. Listen to Music
Music can help calm or stimulate the brain, and it’s good for your child’s body as well. Playing classical music during study sessions helps relaxation, and choosing the right dorm room essentials can help you. (Check out our dorm hacks.)
5. Find Support
If your child can’t cope with academic stress without extra help, create a strong network of like-minded people. Whether they start a study group or take part in various leisure, social and academic activities, it can help meet new people.
6. Fix Eating Habits
What your child eats every day can fix their energy, and the more high-quality food they ingest, the more it helps withstand stress. Avoid high-fat and high-sugar snacks, which are a temporary pleasure and provide their body and mind with zero energy. Eat regularly (don’t skip meals!), stay hydrated (always have a bottle of water!), choose healthy snacks and limit coffee, cigarettes and alcohol.
7. Worry Less
Sounds difficult, but it’s crucial to cut stress whenever possible. What disturbs your child? Is it something worth worrying about?
No? Excellent! Prioritize worries since it is an essential step toward reducing stress.
8. Accept that Perfection Doesn’t Exist
Nobody’s perfect, and it’s acceptable to make mistakes. Tell your child they’re a precious human being, must care for themselves, and forgive the mistakes they make in their academic journey. If their essay on Hamlet got a C, that’s no big deal. The world will not fall apart because of that. To err is human!
9. Relinquish Control
Tell your child they can control things and can’t control others, so have them focus on the things they can control. They can control their behaviors and choices, but they can’t control other people. They cannot control their professor’s test but they can control their preparation routine and manage their time wisely to boost their skills before the test.
A gap year after high school may help your child grow and mature a bit before they opt for college.
Avoid Psychological Consequences as Much as Possible
Your child may not be able to avoid academic pressure once they enroll in college, and this kind of negative experience can have severe psychological consequences. Every participant of the academic process (undergrads, professors, parents) must recognize that college stress is a serious issue and we should all prioritize mental health.
At College Money Tips, we work to help students find the right fit for their situation, and that includes considering the right school for their academic and social requirements. Reach out to us now if you’re not sure how to tackle finding the right fit.
Questions to Ask Colleges and How to Get A+ Answers
It’s important to arm yourself with a list of questions to ask colleges, but not just when you and your student are on campus. It’s important to know what you’ll ask year-round, at every point through the college visit.
I used to work in college admission, and one family asked me such difficult questions when I was an admission counselor that I gave them an “A+” for “hardest questions of the year” and said, “You should go talk to my boss.”
They asked me questions like, “What does the college pay for water and electricity and how does that work into my son’s tuition?”
Relevant questions get to what you need to know. Asking the right person the right questions is paramount.
What are the questions you should be asking? Whether you shoot a list of questions over to an admission counselor or want to pull a list before you go to a college fair, here’s a well-rounded list of questions to ask.
General Questions to Ask Colleges
The topic “questions to ask colleges” is a bit interesting because there are general questions to ask colleges, and then there are ways to break it up because you’ll meet lots of individual people during the visit, including admission counselors, financial aid officers, coaches,
What are some general questions to ask colleges? Let’s take a quick look at some questions you must ask:
- What is the student-to-faculty ratio?
- Can you tell me more about the academic support services available on campus?
- What opportunities are there for undergraduate research or internships?
- How does the college support students in finding housing options?
- What clubs and extracurricular activities are popular on campus?
- Are there study abroad programs available, and how are they facilitated?
- Can you describe the campus safety measures and resources?
- What career services are offered to students and alumni?
- What percentage of students receive financial aid, and what types of aid are available?
- How does the college foster diversity and inclusion among its student body?
Now, let’s dive into more pointed questions you can ask during other points in the college journey. Specifically, we’ll walk through questions to ask college admissions, coaches, college interviewers, financial aid officers, professors and career services personnel.
Questions to Ask College Admissions
I frequently received the following questions about college admissions, and I welcomed them! I’ll add another bonus question that I think is a super great one: What would you change about this college/university. Whoo, that gets the admission counselor’s wheels turning!
- What are the application deadlines and requirements?
- Can you explain the process for applying for financial aid or scholarships?
- Are there any special programs or initiatives for first-generation college students?
- What criteria are considered during the admissions review process?
- Can you provide information about the acceptance rate and the profile of the incoming freshman class?
- Are interviews with admissions officers or alumni recommended or required?
- How does the college support students’ transition from high school to college?
- Are there opportunities for early admission or dual enrollment programs?
- Can you share insights into the college’s retention and graduation rates?
- What resources are available for students with disabilities?
Questions to Ask College Coaches
If your child plans to play sports in college, whether they’re considering a Division I, II or III program, here are some common questions you should ask any college coach:
- What is the team’s philosophy and approach to training and competition?
- How do you support student-athletes in balancing academics and athletics?
- What are the expectations for off-season training and conditioning?
- Can you provide information about the team’s schedule and travel commitments?
- How are playing time and positions determined within the team?
- What academic support services are available for student-athletes?
- Can you talk about the team’s recent accomplishments and goals for the future?
- How do you handle injuries and medical support for athletes?
- What are the team’s facilities like, and are there plans for upgrades or expansions?
- How do you assist athletes in pursuing opportunities beyond college sports?
Questions to Ask College Interviewers
As part of the college search process, your child may interview with an alumnus or alumna of the college or university, and while they may ask your child questions, you may wonder about what your child should ask them. Your child must have questions in mind to ask! Here are a few suggestions:
- Can you tell us about your own experience at this college/university?
- What qualities or attributes is the college looking for in its students?
- How does the college support students in exploring and declaring their majors?
- Can you share some examples of unique opportunities or experiences available to students here?
- How would you describe the campus community and student life?
- What advice do you have for students transitioning from high school to college?
- How accessible are professors and advisors for students seeking guidance or mentorship?
- Can you describe any recent changes or developments on campus?
- What do you think sets this college apart from others?
- How does the college foster a sense of belonging and inclusivity among its students?
Questions to Ask Financial Aid Officers
When you’re on a college visit, you want to talk with financial aid officers as well. If you didn’t schedule a college visit and include a financial aid officer, you want to call up the admission office and get that added to your schedule.
- What types of financial aid are available, and how does my child apply for them?
- Can you explain the different types of loans and their terms?
- Are there any scholarships or grants specifically available for incoming freshmen?
- How does the college determine financial aid packages?
- Are there work-study opportunities available, and how does my child qualify for them?
- Can you provide information on the FAFSA and CSS Profile deadlines?
- What happens if my financial circumstances change after I’ve submitted my financial aid application?
- Are there any additional forms or documents required for financial aid consideration?
- Can you explain the process for appealing a financial aid decision?
- Are there resources available to help students understand and manage their student loan debt?
Questions to Ask Professors
You can meet with professors when you visit college campuses. It’s a good idea because your child can get an idea of who they will take classes from in college. Consider the following questions:
- Can you tell us about your research interests and current projects?
- How accessible are professors outside of class for student questions and discussions?
- What opportunities are there for undergraduate students to participate in research or collaborate with faculty?
- Can you describe the typical class size for introductory and upper-level courses in your department?
- What teaching methods do you employ to engage students and facilitate learning?
- Are there opportunities for students to work as teaching or research assistants?
- How do you encourage critical thinking and intellectual curiosity in your courses?
- Can you share examples of how you integrate real-world applications into your teaching?
- What resources does the department provide to support student success in your courses?
- How do you approach advising and mentorship for students majoring in your field?
Questions to Ask Career Services Personnel
If you get a chance to meet with career services (and I recommend it!) you can put forth a few questions from them.
- What types of career development resources and services does the college offer to students?
- Can you describe the process for students to access career counseling and advising services?
- Are there workshops or seminars available to help students develop essential career skills such as resume writing, interviewing and networking?
- How does the college assist students in identifying internship opportunities related to their field of study?
- Does the college have partnerships with employers or alumni networks to facilitate job placements for graduating students?
- Can you provide examples of companies or organizations where recent graduates have secured employment or internships?
- Are there opportunities for students to participate in career fairs, networking events or informational interviews with professionals in various industries?
- What support services are available to alumni who may be seeking career advancement or transitioning to new roles?
- How does the career services office collaborate with academic departments and student organizations to enhance students’ career readiness?
- Are there specific programs or initiatives aimed at helping students from underrepresented backgrounds succeed in their career pursuits?
Don’t forget to check out a list of questions to ask on a college tour.
Questions to Ask Current Students
Current students and alumni can provide valuable insights into their personal experiences, challenges and successes at the college. Gather as many firsthand accounts as you can while you’re on campus.
- What do you enjoy most about attending this college/university?
- Can you describe the academic atmosphere and classroom dynamics?
- How accessible are professors outside of class for questions and assistance?
- What are the most popular extracurricular activities or student organizations on campus?
- How would you describe the social scene and campus community?
- What are some common challenges that students face here, and how does the college support students in overcoming them?
- Can you share your experience with housing options and campus living?
- How do students typically spend their weekends or free time on campus?
- What opportunities are there for undergraduate research, internships, or study abroad programs?
- How has your experience at this college/university prepared you for your future career or graduate studies?
How to Get Great Answers to Your Questions
Conduct thorough research about the college, its programs, campus culture and other relevant information before you even get on campus. This will help you ask more specific and targeted questions during your interactions. Don’t be afraid to write down the questions ahead of time and refer to them during the college tour. Better yet, print questions from this list!
Here are some tips regarding asking smart questions:
- Go for open-ended questions: Frame your questions in a way that encourages detailed and meaningful responses. Open-ended questions typically begin with “how,” “what,” “why” or “can you describe.”
- Listen carefully: Pay close attention to the responses you receive and ask follow-up questions to clarify any points that are unclear or require further elaboration.
- Seek multiple perspectives: Don’t rely on a single source for information. Seek out insights from various individuals such as admissions officers, professors, students, alumni and support staff to gain a well-rounded understanding of the college experience. Ask the same question of all of them — my favorite is, “What would you change about this place?” It’s fun to watch them stumble around to answer it!
- Utilize information sessions: Take advantage of information sessions and admission events to interact directly with college representatives and explore campus facilities.
- Ask for specific examples: When seeking information about academic programs, support services or extracurricular opportunities, ask for specific examples or anecdotes that illustrate how students have benefited from these resources. Get them to tell stories!
- Follow up via email or phone: If you have additional questions or need further clarification after your initial interaction, don’t hesitate to follow up with individuals at colleges via email or phone.
Finally, pay attention to how your questions are received and whether the responses align with your expectations and goals. Trust you and your child’s instincts when evaluating the information provided to make informed decisions about your college options.
Embracing the Power of Questions
One family once astounded me with their insightful inquiries during an admissions office visit. Their probing questions about the finer details of college operations left me impressed. From inquiries about utility expenses to sustainability initiatives, they demonstrated a keen awareness of what matters. While I may not have had all the answers, their questions underscored the importance of seeking relevant information.
Key Inquiries for Savvy Parents
Savvy parents ask questions related to the following things.
1. Who’s Your Child’s Admission Counselor?
Getting to know your child’s admission counselor is paramount. This dedicated individual serves as your family’s liaison to the college experience. From financial aid guidance to insider knowledge about campus life, admission counselors offer invaluable support.
2. Understanding the Admission Process
In today’s evolving educational landscape, understanding the admission process is essential. Staying informed empowers both parents and students.
3. Connecting with Key Individuals
Facilitating connections with professors and other campus figures can profoundly impact your child’s college journey. Whether it’s through virtual meetings or campus visits, fostering these relationships fosters a supportive academic environment.
4. Engaging with Current Students
Encouraging your child to interact with current students provides invaluable insights into campus life. From firsthand accounts of academic rigor to candid discussions about campus culture, these interactions offer a glimpse into the student experience.
5. Clarifying Expectations and Values
Asking about the unique experiences a college offers helps align your child’s expectations with institutional values. By understanding what sets a college apart, you can ensure a better fit for your child’s academic and personal growth.
6. Exploring Financial Aid Options
Navigating the complexities of financial aid early on empowers families to make informed decisions. Utilizing net price calculators and engaging with financial aid offices enables you to plan for college costs proactively.
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask Tough Questions
As parents, it’s our responsibility to advocate for our children and seek the answers we need. Don’t hesitate to ask tough questions and push for clarity throughout the college search process. Remember, you’re the customer, and your child’s future deserves nothing less than your diligent inquiry.
In conclusion, embracing the power of questions is the hallmark of savvy prospective parents. By asking the right questions and engaging with college stakeholders, you pave the way for a transformative college experience for your child. So, let’s put a zip in our step and embark on this exhilarating journey together!
The Most Comprehensive Junior Year of High School Checklist Ever
Junior year is here! Yiiiiiiiikes! Whether you want to bury your head like an ostrich or tackle it like a linebacker, the reality is here: Two years till college starts.
As a parent, the crazy busy-ness of high school may have gotten even busier because now the time crunch descends. Between AP classes, extracurricular activities and homework every night, junior year is one of the busiest years leading up to college because your student is trying to do all the things!
You may wonder exactly what junior year should look like in terms of prepping for college. It takes planning and prep work to make
Beginning of the Year: Speak with Your Child’s School Counselor
You don’t need to call up the school counselor or college and career counselor every other week. However, it’s a great idea to speak with or meet the school counselor in person at the beginning of the year. He or she will allow you to ask questions about core subjects, already-scheduled courses and more. Make sure you talk about a healthy college prep standard for core subjects:
- Four years of English
- Three years of math (though four is better!)
- Three years of science
- Two or three years of social studies or history
Make sure your child’s college and career counselor knows what schools your child put on his list up until now (it’s okay if it changes later) so he takes courses that align well with that college’s requirements.
Don’t leave it up to the school counselor, however. It requires sleuthing on your part, too. Get on the website of the colleges your child is interested in and find out the requirements for each. Then communicate that with the school counselor so you’re all on the same page.
All Year: Grades, Grades, Graaaades
Beef up those grades. Colleges and universities want to see them whether you agree they represent your child well or not. Has COVID-19 caused your child to fall behind just a little bit? (Is it possible to learn Shakespeare over Zoom without the opportunity to talk to a teacher face-to-face? Hm….)
Keep on top of the college preparation process both during high school junior year and if your child needs help, make sure that occurs.
All Year: Get Going on Extracurricular Activities
What does your child love to do? Or maybe even more importantly, what does he really not like doing? Sometimes knowing what we don’t like to do is more important than knowing what we enjoy. It can help later on when your child makes major life decisions.
If your child hasn’t gotten super involved in extracurricular activities in high school, it’s not too late to get involved. Also, don’t forget to encourage your child to look for leadership positions within those extracurricular activities.
All Year: Talk About a College Savings Plan
Don’t have a college savings plan set up yet? No worries. You can always start one now! It’s not too late to put a plan in place even though your child’s a junior.
If you’ve already been contributing to a college savings account, discuss with your student and other family members how you’ll continue to contribute to that account. Evaluate how far the money in the account will go to pay for college. How far will your child get on the amount of money you’ve saved? Do you need more or can you pay for some of it out of pocket? How creative can you get with paying for it out-of-pocket, through side hustles and more?
Finally, have the conversation about how much it’ll cost your child out of pocket.
All Year: Talk About Colleges
What kind of school is your child thinking about? A vocational-technical school? Community college?
Talk about careers but don’t focus too much on those or majors — your child will likely change her major!
Job Shadow
Let’s say your child really doesn’t know what kind of school to look into because he or she has no idea what he or she wants to do for a living. I normally don’t advocate for picking a school based on major, but let’s say your child is really interested in a trade, like welding. In this case, I advise job shadowing because it’s one of the best ways for your child to determine what type of school to choose.
On the other hand, if your child knows she’s destined for a university — she’s had her mind made up that she’s going to a four-year school — don’t worry so much about the major. Pick the school based on its own merits and opportunities and the major will follow.
All Year: Collect Information
Gather college information through college fairs, college nights and any special alumni. (Did your next-door neighbor’s child go to the No. 1 school on your child’s list? Set up some time to chat!)
Make a list of schools your child would like to visit and keep that updated. Check out my free spreadsheet for the college search!
Note a number of things on the spreadsheet, including cost, merit scholarship requirements, size, location, distance from home
Fall: Help Your Child with that Resume!
Do you know a thing or two about putting together a resume? Stick to what you know, then get a professional to look at it if you’re not confident. One of the best things you can do is proofread the resume for silly mistakes like spelling errors.
Case in point: When I was an admission counselor, I’ll never forget how one kid wrote “Delivered toilet trees to the community center” on his resume instead of “toiletries.”
Don’t let your kid be the “toilet tree” kid.
Don’t forget to remind your child to add the following:
- Any awards
- Community service achievements
- Academic accomplishments
- Work details
- Anything else your child participates in
Fall: Get Ready for the ACT or SAT — or Not
Does your child need to take the ACT or SAT? You and your child need to decide together whether it’s worth it to take it.
In any normal year, your high school junior would study for the ACT or SAT with gusto. You’d encourage him to start studying for the SAT/ACT and SAT subject tests as soon as the calendar turned to September.
Your best bet is to get on an email chain or get on the phone with admission counselors to help you decide whether your child needs to take one of these tests. If you decide it’s important, start studying using practice exams.
Fall: Take AP Classes
AP classes are standardized exams designed to measure how well your child mastered the content and skills of a specific AP course. Your child takes an end-of-year paper-and-pencil exam to evaluate how well he did on the test.
The benefit? Most U.S. colleges grant credit, advanced placement or both for qualifying AP scores.
Ask about International Baccalaureate, CLEP or dual enrollment courses as well.
Fall: Take the PSAT
The PSAT/NMSQT is offered in the fall. How to get ready for test day: Ask your child’s school counselor when her class will take the PSAT/NMSQT and check out a free practice test. Make sure she eats a healthy breakfast the day of the exam!
Spring: Take the AP Exams
Your child can take the AP Exams every year in May at many high schools and exam centers. Check with your school counselor to learn more.
Spring: Take the ACT or SAT — or Not
If your child elects to take the ACT or SAT or the college your child is looking into requests it, sign up for the ACT or SAT and have your child take one of those tests — not both. Shoot for
Spring: Plan the Senior Year Schedule
Talk with the school counselor about putting together a class schedule for senior year. Encourage your child not to take the easy way out — take classes that aren’t a cake walk during senior year, however tempting it is.
Spring: Plan Campus Visits
Here’s how I advise planning campus visits:
- Use the website only to look up the phone number for the admission office at that school.
- Call the admission office and talk to the campus visit coordinator or someone in a similar role. The campus visit coordinator schedules your visits, particularly if they’re personal campus visits, which are one-on-one visits.
- Talk in detail about your options. Does your child prefer a group campus visit or a personal campus visit?
- Ask about specific requests, like meeting with a specific individual on campus.
- Schedule the visit and go!
All Year: Apply for Scholarships
There’s no law that says your child must wait until he’s a senior to apply for scholarships. Now’s the time to hop online or have your child ask the school counselor if he can apply for community-based scholarships.
I recommend using the Scholarship System to help your child get scholarships — it’s a comprehensive system to get judges to notice your child’s application.
The Scholarship System will give your family all the tools you need to find the perfect scholarships, create competitive applications, save tons of time on the process
All Year: Work on Building Those Relationships
Everyone needs to work on all relationships — with school counselors, admission counselors at colleges, teachers at school (they’ll write your child’s letters of recommendation!) and everyone else you can think of. It’s good in general to build positive relationships, so do your best to make connections with those around you and encourage your child to do the same.
Build these relationships without ulterior motives, too — “If I make friends with this scholarship official, maybe he’ll give me the scholarship…”
No, none of that!
Make genuine connections and friendships without thinking about how you and your child will benefit from the relationship with employers, coaches, activity leaders
Be the Cheerleader
It doesn’t end after the last day of junior year — in some ways, you’re just getting started! Continue to learn more about financial aid, work on visiting more colleges over the summer and write down all deadlines for college applications, college scholarships and more. Encourage your child to apply to colleges the minute applications open — some open over the summer!
Give your child so much encouragement because your high schooler works so hard during this process (hopefully this junior year of high school checklist helps). It’s not easy, especially with so many deadlines, things to remember
What to Look for in a College: The Heart/Gut Test
The former president of my alma mater and the college I worked for always told a story about his daughter’s overnight visit at his alma mater, the Air Force Academy. He dropped her off, glowing because he knew she knew what to look for in a college.
The daughter he picked up the next day, he always said in his speeches, “Was not the same daughter I’d dropped off.”
She was quiet on the car ride home. Toward the end, she burst out, “Dad, I don’t want to go to the Air Force Academy.”
“So don’t go there,” he responded. “Go to Rice.”
So she did. Now she’s a doctor.
Heart Test. Gut Test.
Our former president always said his daughter aced the Heart/Gut Test. If she’d chosen to go to the Air Force Academy just to make her dad happy, she knew that it’d be a long, miserable four years.
Our former president truly believed that when you know deep down that it feels right, it is.
But. What about when you hear someone say this, or read quotes like this?
“You should never ignore your gut. But you should know when to rely on that gut instinct and when to safeguard against it.”
It’s harder to grasp a completely intuitive approach to the college decision. As humans, we want to make sure the decision is logical:
- A pros and cons list.
- Evidence of oodles of successful alumni.
- Statistics and proof.
But the college decision doesn’t always come down to a pros and cons list.
Why’s finding the best fit so important? Let’s dive into a couple of scenarios to illustrate why.
SCENARIO A
- Your kid does a diligent job of choosing a college. He carefully examines what he wants, visits colleges
and scrutinizes every angle of the decision. Your son employs the heart test and gut test to his advantage. - He definitely chooses the best fit for him. Your son thrives! He gets involved in activities, picks a major that is quite possibly the best match that ever existed. He adds a few mentors to his list and finds best friends for life.
- Your child happily graduates from said college and gets a great job and/or goes off to his No. 1 choice dental school (or whatever graduate school). Beautiful happy ending. You sob happily at
alllll the graduations.
SCENARIO B
- Your kid doesn’t really engage in the college search — you can’t get him to move off the couch.
- He chooses a college. Not the best match in history, because it’s pretty expensive and that creates some angst. You’re paying a whopping amount because, due to his inability to get off the couch, he didn’t apply for scholarships.
- He doesn’t really apply himself. But TBH, it actually ends up going okay. His grades? He manages to squeak through! Graduation? Ditto! He says, “I’m just not a school person, Mom.” He manages to gather tons of friends along the way.
- He gets a great job after graduation and eventually becomes the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. You know, he’s one of those really successful people whose teachers said he would end up as a ditch digger. Like Walt Disney.
- Truth be told, you’re just as surprised as all his poor professors. You should have known, looking back. As a kid, he showed up at Boy Scout Camp and ended up leading all the activities — not the Boy Scout leaders.
SCENARIO C
- Your daughter (just to shake it up a little) adamantly decides to go to a college based on where her boyfriend’s gonna go. (I can’t tell you how much I despised reason as an admission counselor.)
- She breaks up with said boyfriend and melts down in a puddle of existential crisis halfway through first semester. She’s six hours away, in a school that’s way too big (or way too small) or whatever. Needless to say, it’s not a Baby Bear fit. You encourage her to stick it out for at least another semester.
- Your daughter transfers out after the first semester, anyway, vowing never to see Bad Brad the Boyfriend ever again. She loses credits due to her terrible grades and in all actuality, must start over. She’s back at square one.
- She is actually unhappy at her second institution, too. She transfers again. Classes don’t transfer. By this point, she might as well still claim freshman status in college, even though she should have been at least a second-semester sophomore. Ugh. She graduates late, with more debt than she should have.
There are plenty more permutations than what I’ve covered above. And guess what? I knew a student that fit every one of these descriptions.
The process boils down to:
GUT TEST->HEART TEST->CHOOSING THE RIGHT SCHOOL->GREATER CHANCE OF GRADUATING ON TIME.
Now, did I say “greater chance of success in life” or “instant fame and fortune”?
No. Just “greater chance of graduating on time.”
Even so, that’s a big accomplishment.
Just remember, everything you can do to prepare for the heart test, gut test and ultimately, the college experience, will help your child attain the direct route to the best experience possible.
How to make sure that happens? Well, when everything strikes the right notes with your child, the diploma almost writes itself!
These things will help you accomplish all of this.
1. Visit the Campus.
Get geared up for your 16th masked campus visit: (“Yep, this is what we do now: Not breathe…”) or amp yourself up for your first non-breathing expedition.
Your kiddo can’t successfully ace the heart or gut test without stepping foot on campus.
2. Meet the People.
I know, this sounds so obvious. Duh — you want you kiddo to meet the people on campus. You meet the tour guide, right. Check.
But no, I mean really get to know the people. Ask them their whole life story. Ask them what they thought about their chosen profession as kindergarteners.
Don’t ask cursory questions like, “Do you eat every meal in the dining hall?”
Not only is that boring, it doesn’t get to the root, the heart, the real guts of the kid. Hey, the heart! The guts.
Katie effervesced. She was a tour guide on our campus and was so bubbly that I think she floated on bubbles. She was everyone’s friend and pretty much told her life story from the ground up to everyone — on every tour.
But the thing was, she wasn’t annoying. She was wonderful. Parents loved her. Every student wanted to be her friend. I think it’s because she was so real.
Encourage your student to talk to everyone in the real-est sense.
Not every tour guide can be a Katie, but seek out the Katies wherever you are on campus and whether that person’s your tour guide or not. It’s a win for all.
And don’t neglect the Katies who are librarians, admission counselors, professors, the list goes on! Talk to everyone.
My alma mater’s best ambassador works in the alumni and advancement office. She’s also the wife of one of our most popular biology professors. She’s effervesces, too.
Meet the people who effervesce.
3. Keep Semi-Quiet.
Shssshshh. Mom and dad. You’ve got to shhhhh.
Your child is trying to figure out his way.
Oh, gosh, I know I encouraged you to ask a billion questions on the college visit. But you must be quiet and kinda let your child come to you.
I’ve learned from experience that when parents try to push their opinions on their kids, it sometimes backfires. “I loved our visit at College ABC, didn’t you?” One parent says.
“I loathed College ABC. I hate its colors [or other ridiculous reason].” Says the kid.
Sometimes they might pick the school you love (yes, with the Katies!) if you don’t project too much.
Of course, this all depends on your kids’ personality.
On the other hand, if you’ve got a pretty compliant kid, you might get away with a little more effusiveness. Kids are hard, I know! Gah!
4. Talk About the Ol’ Rumbly Gut Feeling.
It’s okay to have an instinct that doesn’t make much sense. Encourage your kid to feel that. Talk about the Heart Test/Gut Test and make it a true part of the experience.
It’s kinda like picking your spouse or partner. Did you make pros and cons list as to whether you should marry him or her?
Nah, you went with your gut. Or at least, I hope you did.
Who says the college decision shouldn’t at least be somewhat about that, too?
Listen to the Heart/Gut
Now, I hear ya. You’re asking, “What if my kid doesn’t feel the effervescence? The falling in love? The ‘Yep, this is where I’m supposed to go?’”
As hard as it is to hear, your search might not be over. Or maybe you need to start a new search now that you know what to look for in a college.
Keep looking till your kiddo finds it.
How to Help: Money Management for Teens
Your high schooler’s busier than you. (Okay, maybe not.) But between cross country practice, homework (ugh — how hard
Even though your kiddo’s busy, it’s still important to put that math homework to good use because it could affect your child for the rest of his life.
Check this out.
When Caroline was 14 years old, she and her dad decided to invest $2,000 every year for five years. Call it a little experiment, if you will. Here’s what it looked like:
Age 14: $2,000
Age 15: $2,000
Age 16: $2,000
Age 17: $2,000
Age 18: $2,000
Caroline and her dad invested no more money than that initial $10,000.
Fast forward 51 years. How much money did Caroline have after 10 percent annual return, at age 64?
$1,184,600.
How’s that for some incredible math? (Skip solving for x.)
Why Learn About Money Now?
Investing is so important — but that’s not all your child should spend time learning. Unfortunately, high schools and colleges just don’t teach basic
It changes lives when they learn this stuff early:
- Your kids show up equipped to handle debt. The less debt a child has over his lifetime, the more he’ll be able to do the things he wants to do, such as buy a home, purchase the things he wants (not on credit), retire and more.
- It’s fun. When you see money compound, your eyes fall out of your head. It’s more fun than living paycheck to paycheck, that’s for sure.
- It’s habitual. Get it together early on and those good money habits will follow your child the rest of his life. Encourage him to put 10 percent of his income into a retirement account and increase that account a little bit at a time. Your child will be in good shape if she keeps it up till retirement!
- It makes him a lifelong money learner. Books about money these days are so dang good. And so inspiring! Check out Why Didn’t They Teach Me This in School?. He might start stuffing it into his trig book and devouring it during class.
Money Topics Your Child Won’t Learn in School
Here’s what your child needs to learn about money management from you, through books and other methods.
Budgeting and Other Fun Stuff
Budgeting 101 is typically not an essential high school class, so check out the basic budgeting steps your child should know. Why not let him in on all your expenses and bills so he sees what you do?
- Add up expenses like rent, utilities, internet, groceries, clothes, household supplies — you know, those fun adult things you get to tackle each month.
- Add up income. How much money do you make from all income sources?
- Subtract expenses from income.
- Understand the difference between “needs” and “wants.” Start applying this now. “Needs” should only include necessary items, like rent, utilities, groceries and more. “Wants” include coffee runs, entertainment and expensive jeans. A really crucial lesson for kids to understand!
- Sign up for automatic bill pay. Incurring extra fees or interest when you fail to pay your bills on time is a real bummer — and it can ding your credit. Show your child how you pay for everything on time.
Make it fun! Your child can tap into lots of budgeting apps, like YNAB and Mint.
College Costs
Encourage your child to learn about college costs, including a few keywords:
- Tuition: The cost of taking classes at a college
- Room: On-campus housing
- Board: Meals on campus
- Activity fee: Fee to go to events on campus
- Total cost: The sticker price — most students won’t pay this amount!
Let Quatromoney help you (and your child) understand college costs. Quatromoney helps you assess how savings and cash can help your child reduce the need for loans. The company helps your child plan for four years, not just the first year of college.
Student Loans
It’s really important to understand student loans — heck, all loans! — because your child might need them to pay for college.
Student loans seem super complicated, right? They are. For now, let’s reduce student loans into just a few quick facts:
- You pay interest when you borrow. Interest is the amount your child pays (a percentage of a loan) to borrow money. In other words, when your child borrows money for student loans, it costs more money to pay them back. The longer your child takes to pay them back, the more he owes. (Does your child understand this stuff?)
- Take federal loans first and private loans as a last resort. (Let’s go over this more in a second.)
- Get to know the college’s financial aid office. Financial aid officers can help your child navigate everything. Get to know the financial aid personnel at your child’s college. You’ll be happier for it.
Now, onto the basics of federal and private student loans.
Federal Student Loans
The U.S. Department of Education offers Direct Unsubsidized and Subsidized loans and Direct PLUS loans, including Grad PLUS loans for graduate and professional students and Parent PLUS loans for parents of undergraduate students.
What to know: Federal student loans trump private student loans for several reasons:
- No credit checks are involved (although Direct PLUS loans do require a credit check).
- Your child might qualify for an income-based repayment plan once he graduates, which means it depends on how much money your child makes once he graduates from college.
- They’re most often forgiven, which means your child may not have to repay. This depends on which career your child chooses after graduation.
- Federal student loan interest rates are lower compared to private loans.
Private Student Loans
Private student loans fill in the need gap after your child exhausts all scholarship, grant, savings and federal student loan options.
What to know: Private loans often require a co-signer. This person is commonly you or another relative. A co-signer needs a good credit score and needs to show proof of income.
Finally, remember that co-signers are just as responsible for paying back loans. Have a conversation with your child about risk and how your child plans to repay private loans before your child agrees to co-sign.
Starting a Retirement Fund — Now! Yes, Now!
Let’s go back to that fun math problem we did at the very beginning of this article. It took Caroline 51 years to earn a million dollars. Sixty-five years old might feel like it’s a lifetime away.
I’ll repeat what Grandma told your child a million times: “You’ll be my age before you know it, Sonny!”
She’s right — you know that now! (How do the years slip by?)
Do you wish you’d saved $2,000 for five years starting at age 14? I’m sure you do. Hopefully that example is enough of a motivation. Hopefully it propels your kid to scrape up the money from every birthday he’s ever had and invest it.
What to know: If your child’s earned income, she can contribute to a Roth IRA. This could include money earned from a W-2 job or even from self-employment gigs like dog-sitting.
Help Your Child with Financial Literacy
It’s easy for a high schooler to think, “I’ve got plenty of time to figure this stuff out!”
It’s easy to say, “Retirement’s like, 100 years away.”
It’s not! Help your child with this knowledge and let her peer over your shoulder when you’re doing things like paying bills online. Involve your child — they’re great lessons for the future.