by Melissa Brock | Apr 1, 2020 | Build relationships |
Your high school senior, junior or sophomore may not be thrilled about his or her new circumstances. “What do you mean, nobody knows when coronavirus will end?”
Sound familiar?
I talked with a colleague last week whose son, a junior in high school, was signed up for the April ACT. He had a lengthy meeting planned with his guidance counselor about his senior year schedule. Plus, he had two college visits scheduled for March and one in April.
Another friend’s daughter was set to make her college decision by May 1. She was looking forward to spending time with her friends during these last weeks and going to her best friends’ graduation parties.
As a parent, you may feel grief — the loss of things that will never be. No high school for the rest of the year, no springtime college visits, no graduation ceremony.
Your son or daughter may feel it, too. Now’s a good time to check in on everyone’s mental health. Here’s how to make sure your high schooler handles all of it well, follows the rules and manages to learn on top of everything else.
1. Make sure social distancing happens.
Yep, first things first. Teenagers may have a hard time wrapping their heads around COVID, never mind social distancing. High schoolers may developmentally have a difficult time “seeing” the temporary aspects of COVID-19 and envisioning a better future.
Again, social distancing. How many times have you had to explain to your child he can’t hang out in the basement with his usual group of friends?
It’s important not to minimize kids’ frustrations about not seeing friends. Jen DiSessa, parent of T.J., a sophomore, and Will, a freshman, says it’s also important to recognize that all kids are wired to have interactions in the real world, not just in technical spaces. “My boys are pretty anti-social,” she says. “That being said, my oldest told me the other day he needed to see someone he wasn’t related to in person, not on a screen. I think we forget that no matter how anti-social some can be.”
2. Support remote learning efforts if your child’s high school requires them.
It’s easy to back off trying to help with U.S. history after the first snarky, “I can do it myself!” (How do homeschool parents do it?)
Helping with online and virtual learning may never have been in your playbook, but it’s not in your child’s, either. Your child’s probably not super comfortable with a complete switch to remote learning after more than 10 years in a classroom.
Continue to offer your support, even if you think it isn’t appreciated.
“As much as our kids don’t ask for in-person communication, they certainly do need it,” says DiSessa. “They want others to experience these things with them!”
3. Continue extracurricular activities — if it’s feasible.
It may be heartbreaking to realize that the state track meet isn’t going to happen this year. Or that a soccer season is over before it even began. (Especially if you expected college coaches to witness the end of your child’s lofty high school athletic career.)
Is it possible to continue certain extracurricular activities? For example, maybe your daughter’s a thriving musician and she can continue her saxophone lessons on Zoom with her private tutor.
“Our daughter plays both tennis, softball and is also a musician. We have kept her active by continuing her private lessons in tennis and softball, and online piano lessons will begin this week,” says Lisa Knipe, mom to Molly, a freshman in high school. “It’s important to keep life moving in a forward motion so that when students are allowed to return to school and sports, they are prepared,” she adds.
Do what you can to keep things going. Help your child make conditioning, rehearsing and more happen while social distancing. (Hopefully, that doesn’t mean converting the basement to a full-blown workout facility!)
4. Encourage being flexible and adaptable.
Your child’s used to being in a regular classroom every day. He loves kidding around with other students, challenging his teachers and stuffing his face with six PB&Js at lunch.
Now, he’s been locked out of his teachers’ Google Drive documents eight times and has to learn how to use Zoom. To add insult to injury, he must be a teensy bit more motivated to complete some assignments without teacher lecture.
Now’s a great time for a big life lesson: Change happens.
Mindful.org has a great line for your kiddo if he’s willing to hear your advice: Open yourself up to learn different ways of doing things and learning. The more you gain confidence in uncertainty, the more adaptable you will be.
Believe it or not, lessons learned during COVID-19 can help during college and in the workplace. (How’s that for a silver lining?)
5. Help your junior (or sophomore) plan.
The only thing that sophomores and juniors need to hear right now is that it’s okay that the college search has ground to a halt. It’s a good idea to talk through a few things you know for sure. Juniors and sophomores will experience:
- Delayed standardized test-taking. (ACT switched its April 4 test date to June 13 and the May 2 SAT is canceled.)
- A drastic change in college visit timing.
- Curriculum and extracurricular activities will get stuffed into the next academic year.
- Possible changes in early decision and early action deadlines for colleges. (This only applies to your rising high school senior.) Not sure what these mean? Here it is, quick:
- Early decision is a binding agreement. This means your son or daughter must attend his or her top-choice college particular. Your high school senior would traditionally apply to that school around November — but that could change with COVID-19.
- Early action plans are not binding. Your son or daughter would traditionally get an early response to his or her application around January or February but traditionally would not have to commit to a college until the following May 1.
Let’s shift to the positives.
- It’s a great time to start making a plan. Ask your child what he or she wants in a college. Which colleges and needs are on your child’s wishlist?
- Your son or daughter can start applying for scholarships. The College Board offers a scholarship search tool you can look at together.
- Check out virtual visits. So many sites have them right now! Keep mind that these images are the best a college has to offer. They’ll only show you their most beautiful buildings. You should always visit in person later.
What other foreseeable changes can you pinpoint for your child? Discuss these changes together and how you’ll approach them later on.
6. Help your high school senior navigate. There’s no rulebook here!
If you’re the parent of a high school senior, you might think you have a bit of a mess on your hands. Your child should have been finalizing a college decision by May 1. Patience is a good approach right now.
Carnegie Dartlet’s survey of 4,848 high school students showed that admission offices haven’t all extended the traditional May 1 deposit deadline. However, 67% of students surveyed say they want an extension, at least until June 1.
Most colleges should be in direct communication with you with decisions that impact the fall semester. If you haven’t heard anything from a particular school, reach out to your child’s admission counselor at that school to learn more. Here is a short list of things that you and your senior may want to talk about:
- Do you both still feel comfortable with your child’s No. 1 choice or do you need to wait?
- Summer orientation plans: What’s the college’s stance?
- What’s happening with your college savings (or sudden lack thereof)?
7. Talk about the financial implications.
The media’s done nothing but talk about how the stock market has plunged. You don’t have to look far to see it in your 401(k) and your kiddo’s 529 plan. Your child may not understand that this means COVID-19 could affect your ability to pay for college. Talk about this together.
Thomas Hayes, chairman of Great Hill Capital in New York, says there’s a bright spot on the horizon. “Balanced portfolios may take a hit in the short term, but if you look out 12-24 months, we are looking for a strong recovery,” says Hayes. “The government learned from the last financial crisis and rather than waiting for things to break before stepping in, they have already provided up to $7 trillion of aid and liquidity to fill what is projected to be a $1 to $2 trillion contraction in growth. This too shall pass and we may wind up better than expected on the other side.”
Even so, all colleges have heaps of families all in the same boat. How will colleges be able to meet families’ ever-pressing needs?
Colleges are still trying to iron out their responses.
Ask the financial aid office or admission counselor at your child’s top choice whether the college will revisit your financial aid award to meet increased levels of need. After all, a job loss or drastic income shift isn’t reflected in your current FAFSA information.
Offer Support and Love
This time is stressful for you. Whether you realize it or not, it may be even more stressful for your high schooler. Make sure you’re checking in with each other. Everyone’s in this together — you, your child, the high school and the college he or she will (soon!) attend.
by Melissa Brock | Mar 24, 2020 | Ask the admission office |
Adaptability is key right now. You may be trying to help your high schooler decode math and history, juggle your job’s changeups and figure out your kiddo’s college plan, too.
The National Association for College Admission Counseling (NACAC) currently offers a handy online tool (lifesaver!) to help you. The tool catalogs COVID-19 changes to over 800 campuses.
NACAC details adjustments to college admission events, deposit dates and more. It’s a great resource if you were ready to pilot college visits or hit the deposit button for a particular school.
What Senior Parents Can Learn from NACAC’s Site
Parents — you’re not alone if you’re feeling majorly uneasy about your child going off to college. In fact, Quatromoney and TuitionFit created a national flash survey to understand how the COVID-19 outbreak currently affects high school seniors and their families. Three hundred families participated. The results found that 25.7% of respondents are rethinking their college choice due to COVID-19.
You may be lying awake at night because you’re just not sure what’s going to happen — and that’s normal. There’s a lot outside of your control. What you can do is know exactly what each college is doing in light of the outbreak, thanks to NACAC.
Changed Candidate Reply Deadline and Deposit Deadline
May 1 is National Candidate Reply Date. This is the day that high school seniors must inform colleges of their intention to enroll or not enroll in a college. Some schools have pushed decision day to June 1.
NACAC’s coronavirus update tool shows those deadlines for various colleges.
Campus Closures
Is the school your child’s planning to attend closed? You can find out on NACAC’s site. The website can also help you learn more about schools’ individual responses to the crisis.
What Junior and Sophomore Parents Can Learn from NACAC’s Site
You may have been gung-ho about hitting a circuit of college visits this spring if you have a sophomore or junior. Here’s what you can learn about the “new normal” for each school through NACAC.
Admission Office Visits
Some colleges are open to admission visitors, and you can find detailed information on NACAC’s comprehensive website. For example, let’s say your child plans to visit Central Michigan University. You can see that it’s still open to admission visitors and admission events as of March 24.
The site offers a link to each school’s coronavirus updates and how to contact the admission office or financial aid offices.
Admission Events
Admission events could include spring visit days, junior/sophomore visit days, overnight visits and more.
Group visits can help your sophomore or junior (or even freshman!) get a taste of what to expect at a particular college. It can involve the following:
- Tour of campus
- Admission overview
- Academic component
- Current student component
NACAC’s tool shows schools’ canceled group visits and whether they’ve been replaced by virtual events.
National College Fairs
College fairs offer snippets about each college you want to attend. Unfortunately, all spring 2020 college fairs are canceled, including National College Fairs and STEM College and Career Fairs.
College Testing
Your child may have been getting ready for college entrance exams or other tests. Here’s a quick overview of the current situation for college testing:
- SAT tests: The SAT for May 2 is canceled. Makeup exams scheduled for March 28 are also canceled.
- AP tests: Students can take a 45-minute AP exam from home.
- ACT tests: ACT rescheduled its April 4 national test date to June 13.
Check Back on NACAC’s Site
NACAC’s done a terrific job of offering a valuable resource for college admission during this time. Remember, colleges are doing everything they can to answer questions, provide information and offer solutions in the short term and long term. The site will keep updating as time goes on.
Can’t find a college on NACAC’s list? Contact the admission office at the college your son or daughter plans to attend for its COVID-19 announcements.
by Melissa Brock | Mar 20, 2020 | Ask the admission office |
Pre-COVID-19, did you have time for college visits?
I know, I know. You’re laughing uproariously and I’m smiling because I’m fully aware your life is normally nuts. (Right now, it might be a different kind of crazy.)
One of the biggest problems I encountered as an admission counselor was getting prospective college kids to visit. Parents and students didn’t have time to get it wrangled into their schedules.
I get it. I (try to) balance a full-time editorial job and freelance during slim pockets of lunch at the kitchen table (I just wipe off any ketchup that splatters onto my keyboard).
Plus, two little kiddos need my attention. (My husband gets left in the dust because, well, he can take care of himself.)
I love what I’m doing. All of it. But I’m exhausted. I’m spread thin. (And a little cranky.)
If you’re barely keeping it together and you still have college visits on your list, I feel for you. I really do. Here are some top tips if your soon-to-be college kid is wondering how to prepare for college right now, along with some COVID-19 relevant tips, too.
1. Don’t bother visiting schools right now.
Forget about setting up college visits for the time being — the COVID-19 crisis means you get to take a breather. Nobody will give you a tour right now and admission offices may not even be meeting with families.
The only way you can get a real sense of what a college is like is to do a visit when college is in full swing. It’s impossible to understand what a college is really like unless it’s teeming with students.
Plus, many college kids who have stayed on campus did so because they don’t have any place else to go. It’s not fair to put them at risk by possibly bringing the virus to them. Stay home and weather the crisis online.
2. You can still learn a lot online.
These days were made for scrolling the internet, right? Since you and your teen have plenty of time to loaf while you’re self-isolating, you can also learn a lot about schools and how to prepare for college. (You’ll definitely learn more about their emergency preparedness and vision for the immediate future! Most school’s COVID-19 policies exist on their home pages.)
Nothing takes the place of a campus visit. However, you can still learn a lot about a college on a virtual tour. At the very least, you can find out whether College A has the kind of microbiology program your student is looking for.
Just remember, a college’s website will look shiny and beautiful. Try to remember that people are what makes an incredible college experience — not gorgeous science labs or state-of-the-art student rec centers. Try not to let your child fall in love with a college for aesthetic reasons. Hold out for meeting the people. You’ll be able to eventually!
3. Have your child start looking for scholarships.
Explain to your child that he or she can be looking for scholarships now that sports, band and other clubs and organizations are canceled and now that there’s oodles of free time. Seniors can still look for scholarships, too. There’s still so much untapped money out there.
Check out the U.S. Department of Labor’s free scholarship search tool, look into foundations, community or religious organizations, local businesses, civic groups and ask about scholarships at your workplace. This is a constructive use of time for any student who’s wondering how to prepare for college.
4. Write down your goals. It can change your life.
Edwin Locke, an American psychologist and goal-setting theory pioneer, was one of the first individuals to establish a positive relationship between clearly identified goals and performance. It really works.
Really, this can apply to any area of your life (when will you write the book you’ve been writing in your head since second grade?!). But consider using it as you’re trying to figure out how to prepare for college. Writing out your goals is a powerful motivator. In fact, if you really want to get something done, write it down and tell everyone about it. For example, you could write, “Schedule three college visits by October.” Then, tell two friends you’re planning to do it.
Even better, have your soon-to-be college kid write down his or her goals for college. They could look like this:
- Apply for [insert number] of scholarships by [date].
- Study for and take the ACT by October.
- Apply to College A, College B and College C.
- Write a scholarship essay for College A and B by [insert date].
Find out what your high schooler’s goals are — really hone in on what he or she would like to accomplish in college. Building relationships during the college search also extends to building relationships with your son or daughter — and the COVID-19 crisis will require everyone to be at home more. Why not talk about college?
Give Yourself a Break
If there’s anything to be learned from this time in our lives, it’s to slow down. I mean, does life really have to be so busy? All the time? Maybe a lull will enable you and your child think more critically about what features you both really want in a college.
Finally, have patience with colleges as they work to sort out what they’re going to do. Many, many colleges are still hashing it all out. During this uncertain time, it’s more important to strengthen our communities through empathy, patience and support. College (and everything else, for that matter) will still happen, even if the world looks a lot different right now.
by Melissa Brock | Mar 14, 2020 | Financial aid and scholarships |
You’ve gone on a dozen college visits with your son or daughter and watched as he or she applied to just as many schools. You’ve waited months for the financial aid award from his or her first-choice school to land in your inbox. You open it nervously and your eyes dart immediately to the bottom numbers. The out-of-pocket cost. The amount you and/or your child will need to pay for college.
You may think it’s a lot of money.
Before you set that award aside and start poring over the financial aid awards for other (less expensive) schools, stop for a second. This could be an opportunity — a challenge! It’s time to get creative, ask a lot of questions about cost savings and stay positive. You can do this.
I caught up with Dr. Terri Snyders Crumley, vice president for enrollment and marketing at Mount Mercy University, to get her perspective.
Crumley said, “Everyone wants college to be free, but colleges have to pay their faculty and staff, electricity and more, just like any business. If a family thinks of paying for college as a partnership — where the college helps a bit, the student helps, the family helps — it’s usually doable. And that’s the same whether it’s a state school or private college.”
In other words, there are things you can do if you feel the financial aid award is a lot pricier than you anticipated.
1. First, breathe.
It can be hard to focus on anything but those final numbers. You want your child to go to his first choice school — especially when he’s worked so hard to get into the school of his dreams. Stay calm and know that there are things you can do — and a lot of what you can do involves a little bit of creative thinking.
2. Talk to the financial aid office.
Crumley suggests picking up the phone and directly talking to financial aid personnel at your son or daughter’s top choice institution. This is when the relationships you developed during college visits may come in handy. Ask a few questions:
- Are there other scholarship opportunities available? Find out whether there are additional scholarships your son or daughter can still apply for. He or she may still be able to apply for a last-minute music scholarship or a writing scholarship — just ask!
- Is work-study available? Work-study is a federally-funded program that can help your son or daughter pay for college. They do this by earning money through an on-campus job. Your son or daughter may not have been awarded work-study at all, and this is the time to ask whether it’s available. If work-study is already plugged into the financial aid award, ask if more work-study money can be added. It’s a little-known secret — and to get it, all you might have to do is ask.
- Was my FAFSA information correct? Ask some deeper questions about the FAFSA, says Crumley, because it’s very possible that you could have filled it out incorrectly. Work with the financial aid office to double-check. Did you accidently include your 401(k) retirement? Was your expected family contribution (EFC) inflated due to one-time income? (EFC is an indicative number that colleges use to determine how much financial aid you’re eligible for.) Find out through the financial aid office whether you need to fix what’s on your FAFSA.
3. Evaluate whether you qualify for special circumstances.
Colleges know that financial setbacks happen. You might have caught a bad break or two since you filed your FAFSA. Your son or daughter’s first-choice school may be able to take special circumstances into account and adjust your financial aid award. The following situations could qualify as special circumstances. You may:
- Support multiple households (married family members may live apart or you may support elderly family members or family members abroad)
- Experience one-time income, such as withdrawing retirement funds for emergency purposes
- Be paying funeral, medical or dental expenses
- Have education debt yourself
- Experience a job loss or a significant reduction in income
Check with the college financial aid office to find out whether you’re eligible to fill out its special circumstance form.
4. Consider cost savings.
This is where you get to think outside the box. Put all your creative juices into overdrive and figure out how much cost savings are in store. How much money will you save when your child is no longer living at home (if he or she is going away to school)? How can those savings can be applied to college costs?
Groceries
How much do you currently spend on groceries? Imagine how much you’ll save if your son isn’t home to drink four gallons of milk per week and eat two meals in one sitting!
Utilities
How much do you spend on utilities? How much cost savings will you incur when your teenager isn’t taking two showers a day, leaving all the lights on or cranking up the heat without your knowledge?
Car insurance and other vehicle-related expenses
Your student may not need a car at college. Unless he or she has an off-campus job, the reality is that your student can catch rides with friends to Walmart or take public transportation. That means you could even sell the car! You’ll also save a lot of gas money — no more, “Hey, Mom, can I have $40 for gas?”
Toiletries
You won’t have to stock your house full of toilet paper and Kleenexes for your high school student — major cost savings. Plus, if you really wanted to, you could encourage your student to come up with his own funds for deodorant, soap, shampoo and whatever else he might need. He can get a job, use birthday cash — it’s a great time for him to get creative with money.
Lessons and athletic fees
You won’t have to pay for piano or voice lessons anymore. That’s a lot of savings right there, especially if you’re spending hundreds of dollars per year on athletic club participation or whatever else your son or daughter participates in at his or her high school.
How can you save save money in college in other ways? Why not make a long list?
5. How can your student pitch in?
How much can your child work and save over each summer break? Don’t discount what your student can earn at the public pool, waiting tables or even freelancing. Add that to the pile! A summer job earning $4,000 can make a huge difference.
6. Break it down.
Once you’ve done steps one through five, take a look at the out-of-pocket costs again. Pretend it’s a puzzle you need to solve (and can solve!) and break it into chunks to make it more palatable. Encourage your student to figure out how much he or she can contribute. Determine how much you can each feasibly add and consider the cost savings mentioned above. Maybe grandparents want to chip in, too!
Another way to break the cost into manageable chunks is to opt for a 10-month payment plan at your child’s school. The 10-month payment plan divides the out-of-pocket costs into 10 separate payments over the course of a school year. Once you do that, does it seem so scary anymore? I hope not.
Finally, decide whether you need a private loan for the rest. Note: Direct Subsidized and Unsubsidized Loans, which are both federal loans for eligible students who will attend four-year colleges or universities, could also be built into the financial aid award. Talk to the financial aid office about loan options for you and your family.
Get excited and have a family conversation
I love Dr. Crumley’s approach — that paying for college can be a partnership between the parent, the student and the college. Tackle that out-of-pocket cost with some energy! Once you and your family sit down and actually tackle the financial aid award head-on, it can even be exciting!
It doesn’t have to be daunting. Work with the financial aid office to break down the out-of-pocket costs. Make it your mantra! Break it down, break it down, break it down.
by Melissa Brock | Mar 14, 2020 | Ask the admission office |
How to choose a college may be the only thing on your kiddo’s mind! As a parent, you might be exhausted by the college search. The ACT or SAT prep, the dozens of college visits, the comparing and contrasting financial aid awards — you may be ready for your kiddo to make a decision, already. But he or she just might not know.
You’ve probably been a part of conversations with other parents at soccer games, after school, at barbecues: “So-and-so’s going to College XYZ.”
You know the implied question: “Where’s your kid going?” or, “Why hasn’t he decided?”
Here’s a quick guide to March, April and May and some tips to help your child figure out how to choose a college.
March
March feels like the start of the end of high school, doesn’t it? Spring athletic practices have started, high schools are gearing up for the last curriculum burst — plus, you can see graduation looming on your calendar. (Cue the waterworks — it’ll be over before you know it!)
Here’s what you can be doing in March if your child still hasn’t decided what college he’d like to attend.
- Make sure you have all your financial aid awards. Count ’em up! Are you missing a key award from a particular school? Call the financial aid office at that college and find out when you should be getting it. Maybe there’s been an oversight. You could have forgotten to submit the FAFSA code for that particular school or the college may still need some information from you. Note: Financial aid awards can be sent any time of the year, particularly now that FAFSAs can be filed in October. Don’t misplace the financial aid award from a liberal arts college sent to your kiddo way back in November! And remember, colleges may send the financial aid award letter via email, mail or both.
- Pore over those aid awards. It goes without saying, but the next thing you’ll need to do is compare and contrast each financial aid award in detail. Remember — there’s more to the college decision than simply choosing the cheapest option. Weigh all the factors — yes, even factors like which college has the best fishing club. Where will your child thrive? (Sometimes you know it before he or she does.)
- Discuss waitlisting. Let’s say your child’s waitlisted at College ABC. Would he or she be just as happy attending College XYZ instead? Find out when the final decision will be released — but in the meantime, review all options.
- Selected for verification? Don’t sweat it. This is a federal process, kind of like an IRS audit. It means you’re asked to submit additional documentation to prove the validity of your FAFSA. Respond quickly so you get your final financial aid award.
- Don’t stop looking for scholarships. Okay, this really doesn’t have much to do with making a final decision, but it’s a valid spring tip. Scholarships abound! Look online, have your child check with his or her guidance counselor, ask around. Do what you can to apply for scholarships — everywhere.
April
It’s April. You may get a teensy bit more nervous because your kiddo hasn’t decided. In fact, maybe he’s not having any fun talking about his college search at the dinner table anymore. “I’ll decide when I’m ready!” he snaps. What now? Ease up — you may just have to backtrack a bit.
- Have a conversation when your child is open to it. Review your pros and cons list from each school. There’s a reason he liked College ABC during the college search — remind him of that professor with the quirky personality. Remind him that the Division III coach from College ABC calls him every few days to check in.
- Visit again! Yes, why not make the trek to several schools all over again? Your kiddo’s hit with so much information (some of it’s not accurate), friend influences (definitely not always accurate!) and more. He or she may be trying to wade through a sea of confusion. Call the admission office and set up another tour, talk with an admission counselor, financial aid officer, professor, coach and more.
- Take it one step further. Set up an overnight visit. This could be the clincher for your student. If you need to set up a couple of overnight visits, go for it. The overnighter gives your student a sense of what the people are like — and ultimately, clues your child into whether he or she can “see” him or herself living, taking classes and eating in the cafeteria at a particular school.
- Acknowledge that this is a tough decision. In fact, it might be the most difficult decision your child has ever had to make! Sympathize, and if you can, get him or her to talk about his fears, frustrations and why he or she is excited. You may be able to share a few of your feelings about the college search, too.
May
May is Decision Month! And for some, it’s graduation month! Whether you’re still in the “How did that happen?” stage or you’re in more of a “Let’s do this!” mindset, here’s what you can do in May if your child still struggles to make a decision.
- Tell your child that May 1 is the National Candidate Reply Date. Most schools adhere to the National Candidate Reply Date of May 1, unless your student is admitted under a binding early decision program. This means that a college cannot pressure you to decide on a college prior to May 1 unless you’ve committed to a college early decision. It’s outlined under the National Association for College Admission Counseling’s Code of Ethics and Professional Practices. This doesn’t mean your child must decide at the stroke of midnight on May 1. But it’s a good idea to encourage this date as the final deadline.
- Do the heart/gut test. Now that it’s time to make a final decision, sit your student down and find out his instinctual response to a few schools. What’s in his heart? Sometimes it can’t be explained — one school just feels right. Your child may be feeling conflicted because he knows that College ABC has a better biology program — that is, it’s produced a larger number of podiatrists (or whatever!) — but he feels more at home at College XYZ. You may have had no idea he felt that way — but cheer anyway! — because you’re finally getting somewhere.
- Have your son or daughter connect with an influencer. You know those influencers — the ones who make you go “Wow!” when you meet with them on campus. Maybe it’s the college chaplain, the art history professor or an admission counselor. Set up a phone call or one-on-one meeting with that person. Be heartfelt and honest — explain that your child is having trouble making his decision and he needs one more person in his corner. A successful meeting will most likely make a difference! This journey is about building relationships! The minute your child feels wanted at one school over another, it’ll make a world of difference.
How to Choose a College in the Spring
The best thing you can do as a parent? Remind yourself:
- If your child is meant to go to college, he’ll eventually decide! He will — even if he changes his mind 100 times in the process.
- Acknowledge that it’s a tough decision. Your child may need a dose of patience and understanding. Try to caution others to give him or her space, too. He may not appreciate his best friend’s dad hounding him every other day about the college search.
- It’s all about relationships. All of it. It’s not about the college with the sparkliest building, the internship success percentages, the number of students who get into medical school. It’s about where your child will be encouraged, challenged (in a good way!) and ultimately, succeed and be happy.
- Try not to compare your child’s journey with anyone else’s. We all make decisions on our own terms. Try to remember a time when you took forever to make a decision — like which house to buy, which car to purchase, which city to land in. Grown-up decisions are hard. Be proud that your child is thinking things through.
Reflect on the past few months! Whether it’s been an amazing college search process or stressful, haven’t you learned a lot?
