Your child may be gung-ho about experiencing all there is to soak up about residential living during his or her first year at college.
On the other hand, your kid may refuse to set foot in a dorm. Maybe she doesn’t like the idea of sharing a bathroom with 30 other girls. Maybe dorm life just doesn’t appeal.
For whatever reason, let’s dig into this all-important question: Will your child get extra financial aid if he or she lives off campus?
In short — no. However, it’s important to know that off-campus living doesn’t affect your financial aid eligibility.
In fact, I think Notre Dame’s website sums it up nicely. It says:
Living on campus does not affect a student’s financial aid eligibility. A standard room and meals amount is used to determine undergraduate students’ cost of attendance whether they live on or off campus.
— Notre Dame’s website
Generally, this is the case at most schools, but it’s always best to check with every school your student’s interested in. Here’s what you need to know.
Why Live Off Campus?
First of all, why do students choose to live off campus? There are a variety of reasons, and sometimes it’s not always a decision your child will make freely. Universities often don’t have enough room for all students to live on campus.
But here again, all colleges have different policies. It’s best to ask. For example, the college I worked for required all students to live on campus. In fact, you needed to petition the residence life office staff in order to live off campus — and that reward was granted just to a select few.
Why’d they do that? Well, I worked at a small liberal arts college. The requirement was put into place to make sure that the college built a sense of community. If even half of the students lived off campus, the college would be a ghost town. I was actually super grateful for that requirement because small campuses need that community feel. (It’s definitely a very different story at a large state university.)
The point of telling you this is to check into a college and university’s policies very carefully when you go on visits. If your child isn’t sure he likes the college’s policies regarding residence life, he’d better steer clear of attending that college altogether.
So, why do some students choose to live off campus? Here are a few reasons:
Potentially less expensive
More space
Less noisy than a buzzing residence hall
Potential garage parking — it’s way easier to live off campus with a car
No residential advisors (RAs) and fewer rules (including curfews)
Increased privacy (no communal bathrooms!)
Easier with work and other social commitments
Roommate choice is more targeted
On the other hand, here are some reasons your child may prefer to live on campus:
Potentially less expensive
Offers a more social atmosphere and a gateway to the campus community
Fewer responsibilities (paying utilities, making rent payments, etc.)
Easier access to the cafeteria and broader food choices
Easy access to campus resources like the library, student center, gym, etc.
No need to drive to campus or take public transportation
Your child is more likely to complete a degree — that one is HUGE!
Services like internet, water, sewer, waste removal, etc. are already built in
Opportunities to participate in residence hall association
Laundry facilities are available
As you can see, there’s a lot to consider when you and your child are thinking through the benefits of each. Notice that the first item on each list is “potentially less expensive” — it might be cheaper to live on campus or off campus.
While that might sound confusing, you just have to run the numbers. Rent will naturally be cheaper in Omaha, Nebraska, compared to Cambridge, Massachusetts. We’ll dive into the numbers a little later in this post. I’ve also created a handy budgeting spreadsheet to help you and your student figure out which option is cheapest.
Note: This entire article tackles financial aid for off-campus housing by paying rent for an apartment, house or townhouse. It’s obviously going to be cheaper if your student lives at home with you and doesn’t plan to pay rent while going to school.
How Financial Aid Works with Room and Board
Your child won’t get extra financial aid by living off campus, so how does the money get distributed? It all starts with a college or university’s Cost of Attendance, or COA.
How Colleges and Universities Calculate Cost of Attendance
The COA is an approximate calculation of your child’s complete expenses. It includes items like tuition, room, board, fees, books, supplies, transportation, loan fees and other miscellaneous expenses. The COA helps determine the maximum amount of total grants and loans your student can receive. In short, financial aid offices use the COA to determine your child’s eligibility for financial aid. The COA may also include other things — disability costs, study abroad program costs and more.
You may even want to alert the college your student is considering if you have any unusual expenses that might affect your cost of attendance.
The COA works with another factor — your Expected Family Contribution (EFC) — to determine how much financial aid your child will get. In fact, it’s an easy subtraction problem. Colleges and universities subtract your EFC from the school’s COA (I know, all the acronyms)!
What’s an EFC? It’s the government’s estimate of what you and your child may be able to pay for a year of college. It’s based on your income, assets, age, number of dependents and more. The difference between the cost of attendance and the EFC is how much financial aid must make up the difference.
When you fill out the FAFSA for your child, you’ll need to indicate whether your child plans to live on campus or not.
So, let’s apply all this to an example. A student named Rachel plans to attend College A in the fall. She and her mom filled out the FAFSA together and found out that her Expected Family Contribution (EFC) is $12,000. College A’s Cost of Attendance (COA) is $52,000 — again, this includes tuition, room, board and fees. The difference, $52,000 – $12,000, equals $40,000 — and within that figure is room and board. Financial aid calculations will be different for students who live in off-campus housing and $40,000 must be made up through financial aid.
Which is More Expensive — Living On or Off Campus?
Is off-campus housing always less expensive than on-campus housing? (I’ve heard so many college kids say that.)
The truth is that Trulia’s 2018 Market Trends Campus Report said that in 28 of 48 colleges and universities it surveyed, it was either the same price or cheaper to be off campus, with average savings of $219 per month for those with a roommate. Meals were included in the housing options for 8 of these 28 colleges and universities, which added to the expense. Removing these schools from consideration brought the average monthly savings in off-campus housing down to $146.
I did some more digging to find the actual cost of living on campus compared to living off campus:
Average cost of room and board, according to Debt.org:
$8,887 per school year at public colleges and universities
$10,089 per school year at private colleges and universities
Average apartment expenses, according to Debt.org:
$1,178 per month for a two-bedroom apartment
$112 per month for the electric bill
$50 per month for internet
Total: $16,080, assuming your child doesn’t have a roommate
So, here’s what I can tell you for sure, because there are so many variables: At first glance, an off-campus apartment may look way cheaper than the price of room and board, but you have to add in costs for electricity, gas, water, waste disposal, cable and internet — it all adds up fast.
In fact, there might even be hidden surprises you’re not thinking of as a parent. (You may own your own home now — it’s easy to forget about things like lease deposits!) Here are some often-forgotten extra expenses I came up with:
Don’t forget about summertime rent! Remember, leases are typically year-round, not just the nine months your child is in school. That can add more to the bill.
Your child will need to pay for transportation. Whether that means paying for car insurance, the subway, the bus system — whatever it is! — it adds to the expense.
Utilities are part of the package. Don’t forget about electric, gas, internet, cable, water and trash. This can add considerably to the expense.
A deposit is also part of the deal. The drawback to having to pay a deposit is that you have to pay it in the first place — and can lose it if your apartment is in a shambles when your lease is up.
Roommates might not work out. What happens when one roommate decides to bail out and your child can’t find a replacement? The rent still needs to be paid each month!
Figure Out Whether Your Child Really Should Live Off Campus
Living off campus is much closer to a real-world experience. Rent is due and the lights will extinguish if the electric bill isn’t paid. Is your child ready for these types of responsibilities or is he better off in the relative comfort of dorm life? If you know for sure that your child will subsist on Easy Mac and needs an RA to help handle roommate squabbles, it might be better to stick to residence hall living.
On the surface, it might look like living on campus versus off campus is solely a money decision, but consider where your child would thrive most. If your son thinks of himself as a gourmet chef, he may hate eating the on-campus food and text you green-faced emojis daily. (That alone will probably tell you whether he or she is ready to live off campus.)
Don’t forget that there are ways to reduce the on-campus costs if you really want to. Your student may want to expand her leadership skills and get plugged into a resident advisor (RA) position. Here’s a major perk: RAs usually get free room and sometimes free board! Now, it’s true that your student may find that RA jobs are only reserved for juniors and seniors. However, your son or daughter might be the token sophomore that gets chosen! (I’ve seen it happen lots of times.) Your child will need to prove good grades and extracurricular involvement and will likely also have to go through a rigorous interview process.
Determine a Budget
You may want to talk your child through a budget prior to the start of college whether he or she decides to live off campus. In fact, to save you a little bit of time, I developed a budget worksheet for you and your child. You can copy this worksheet and adapt it to your needs. It’ll tally up all the costs for you automatically. It’s nothing fancy — maybe someday I’ll get a chance to make it really pretty!
Compare your student’s total expenses with his or her total income. Your child’s income should be greater than his or her expenses. If this isn’t the case, try to help your child reduce expenses and/or work to increase his or her income. This may show you clearly whether it’s cheaper to live on campus or off campus. Explore these options on every visit and while you build relationships with admission counselors and financial aid personnel at various schools.
Think of the Whole Picture
No, you don’t get extra financial aid for off-campus housing — even if it’s more expensive than living on campus. So, the moral of the story may be this: Don’t make cost the only factor when you and your child decide whether living off campus is a priority. There are lots of other things to consider — including your child’s sense of responsibility.
Here’s something else to consider: Check to make sure your financial aid and tuition plans cover off-campus housing. Direct student loans, 529 plans and prepaid tuition plans have certain rules about how your student is allowed to use the money.
My husband likes to get up every Saturday morning and watch fishing shows. He’s not even really an avid fisherman; he simply enjoys watching professional fishermen reel in giant, slimy fish. My kids like it, too. They all group around the television and “Ooh” and “Ahh” every time some guy catches a largemouth bass.
Why am I telling you this? Because you may feel like finding the right college is kind of like finding the biggest bass in Lake Okeechobee. Right?
Building relationships with people at colleges can make the “fishing” process seem a little less daunting. It brings more clarity to the college search and helps your child hone in on those “Aha” moments.
Anna Dealy, associate director of advancement communication at the Worcester Polytechnic Institute in Worcester, Massachusetts, used to work in enrollment at a private liberal arts college. She says her favorite part of working in admission is building friendships with students and families.
Dealy says it’s important for parents to help students understand that colleges wantto get to know you, then help guide the relationship-building process.
“It helps for students to know that those of us working in enrollment aren’t scary,” says Dealy. “We want to meet students and want them to succeed. Maybe if they know that from the beginning, they might not think building relationships with admission offices is so foreign and unknown.”
The thing is, you and your high schooler have to work toward building relationships. Plus, your student has to be willing to get on board. (That may feel like reeling in a shark!)
As with most things, it’s better to do it together.
Add College Contacts with Your Student
Make sure you reach out to people during the college search together. It’s really intimidating for your child to have to do it alone, particularly when your high schooler may not be great at getting to know new people. That said, anytime you need to talk with a financial aid officer, set up a college visit, talk scholarships with an admission counselor — whatever it is — put your child on speaker and encourage him or her to make the first move. It’s time to start learning how to interact with anyone now — it’s good life skills training.
Encourage Your Student to Attend High School College Rep Visits
Encourage your kiddo to attend college rep visits at his or her high school. Colleges usually make the rounds at high schools in fall and spring and intermittently during the winter.
It’s a great idea to get to know admission counselors through those visits. Your child’s school counselor or college and career counselor will have a list of dates when colleges will visit.
You may hear that high school teachers prefer that your child stays in class, but this is a great relationship-building opportunity, particularly if your child’s classmates all stay in class! That way, your child will get lots of one-on-one attention, particularly if your student has an eye on a smaller school.
How can you do this together? You might want to request some private time with the admission counselor and your child if you have specific questions. Call the high school and find out whether the college rep can spare some extra time. Or go directly to the source and contact the college rep.
Get to Know Alumni
Even if alumni graduated 20 years ago, they’re still great people to build relationships with because they’re the ultimate cheerleaders. They can be great at explaining the heart and soul of an institution — that usually doesn’t change! (You’ll still hear current students talk about some of the same things that older alumni describe.)
Alumni may also do interviews with your student as a required or optional part of a school’s admission process. In that case, you can help your child set up the interview, but it’s best if you stay home. You can help your child dress for success, practice interview tips and make sure your child follows up after the meeting. This is just one area where you’ll have to sit on the sidelines!
Go to College Fairs with Your Child
College fairs are a great way to learn more about what colleges offer. Go to a college fair with your child so he or she doesn’t have to go it alone. The school counselor at your child’s high school should have a list of local and regional college fairs you can attend. National college fairs can also offer a great opportunity for you and your son or daughter to communicate with a college representative together — these fairs are usually packed.
Come with a list of specific questions about campus culture but leave the questions about class size at home. You can find that online.
Oh, and make sure your child asks the first few questions!
Give Your Child Opportunities to Get to Know Students
Obviously, the students are the life and soul of a college or university. The best place to get to know them is during college visits on campus. Encourage your child to talk to the students during these visits. This can be such a challenging thing for a high schooler! They might feel like they’re kindergarteners all over again.
Prep your student ahead of time for what to expect. There’s nothing worse for a college student tour guide than trying to give a tour to a family who’s too timid to ask questions or make conversation. It’s also tough on the tour guide when parents dominate the conversation — FYI!
Beyond the college visit, are there students around your community who attend the colleges your child is interested in? They can clue them in on a lot — campus culture, tips for navigating the first year, the best residence halls, where to go for resources, programs, etc. It’s fun for your student to hear all this from a student perspective and it’s instructive because you also get away from all the college marketing hoopla. College students can be completely real and help your child get the scoop on it all.
Meet with Faculty and Staff
Meeting with faculty and staff is one of those things that can make a kid die a thousand deaths, as you probably already know. Talking to a financial aid guru, faculty member or other staff member can be terrifying for a 17-year-old high school student. This is one of those times when your child may never say, “Mom, I need you,” but he does!
“Faculty members can really give students that level of comfort that someone in enrollment might not know about the details in the area of study and success stories. Faculty are huge resources of finding the right fit. That’s what it’s all about for students — finding the right fit,” Dealy says.
Yessss.
Getting to know faculty and staff may even help college professionals “look out” for you during the college search. Here’s an example. When I worked in the admission office, a professor decided to collect money from other faculty and staff to offer up scholarships for deserving students. He amassed an impressive amount — enough to offer students an extra $1,000 to their aid awards.
He asked admission counselors for the names of who they thought deserved the scholarships the most. I very vividly remember him asking me about the students in my territory.
Naturally, the students who knew our admission counselors best received the scholarships because they’d gone through the trouble of building relationships with them. Obviously, this is a super-specific example and doesn’t happen at every college, but do you see how there could be far-reaching benefits for students and families?
Know Your Student’s Admission Counselor
Getting to know admission and financial aid is a good place to start, says Dealy.
“Based on the people I’ve met in the enrollment industry, we want to be resources and advocates, help students thrive, help them find the right fit and go out in the world and be successful. We believe that all students can do that and we want to help them along on their journeys,” Dealy says.
Exactly!
Get in Touch for All the Right Reasons
So here’s the other thing. When you’re “fishing,” you want to be sure you’re fostering genuine relationships with college contacts. This isn’t a good approach: “Let’s make friends with key people at colleges just so they go above and beyond to help us.”
It’s got to be genuine and sincere, because, if anything, you’re teaching your child how to be a really nice person. The best relationships are reciprocal friendships — each party gets something out of it. Yes, college representatives are “hitting goals” by getting your child to attend their colleges. But most really, really want to recruit graduates — students who will enroll, love the experience and graduate to be proud alumni.
I signed up to be part of a study: The Mayo Clinic GENERATE (GENetic Education, Risk Assessment, and TEsting) Study. Here’s a snippet of the cheery email that appeared in my inbox:
We are very excited to share that the study is now open to anyone who has a first-degree relative who has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, regardless of genetic testing status. You can read more about our updated eligibility criteria at https://generatestudy.org/participation/.
Basically, if I get accepted, I’ll undergo genetic testing which will tell me whether I have the markers for pancreatic cancer.
Yippee.
My mom developed pancreatic cancer at 55 — the same year my daughter was born. I remember thinking, “I refuse to raise my daughter without my mom around. I can’t do it!” But the odds were stacked against us.
Despite the fact that everyone told me to stay off the internet, I’d Googled the statistics anyway: For all stages of pancreatic cancer combined, the one-year relative survival rate is 20% and the five-year rate is 7%, according to the American Cancer Society.
Fast forward seven years: My daughter still has her grammy. My mom beat all the odds, and she’s a nurse now fighting COVID-19. (Ask me how I feel about that.)
Anyway, as you can imagine, it’s a bit terrifying to think about what the tests will find. And oh, geez, the implications: Will I be around for my kids? If not, what will happen to my husband (emotionally and financially)?
I Realized I Need Life Insurance
Signing up for this study was the club to the head I needed. Nothing like signing up for a cancer study to assist you in realizing your own mortality. Gah. I’d gotten a sizable policy through my old job at the college and I have one through my current full-time job, but it’s not worth much.
The point of getting life insurance is this: What if I die early and can’t help my husband pay for college for my kids? What if I die before our house is paid off? It might not be from cancer, either. I could get in a car accident or fall off a ladder.
How Does Life Insurance Work?
Life insurance is pretty easy to understand. You pay a recurring amount of money, called a premium, to an insurance company. The insurer pays out a tax-free sum of money to your beneficiary or beneficiaries if you die while the policy is active. This is called a death benefit.
Life insurance helps with expenses upon your death, such as:
Replacing your income
Paying off a mortgage
College costs
Funeral and other end-of-life costs
Day-to-day bills
Cosigned debt
Child care or dependent expenses
Medical expenses or long-term care (Certain life insurance policies offer an accelerated death benefit rider which means you can access a portion of your death benefit if you’re diagnosed with a terminal illness. Doing so while you’re still alive could help with medical or other expenses when you can’t work.)
You can choose from different types of life insurance:
Term life insurance lasts for a set number of years before it expires.
Whole life insurance is a permanent life insurance policy. It offers a death benefit and a cash value — a tax-deferred cash value account that accrues interest at a predetermined fixed rate. A certain portion of the premium you pay goes into the cash value of the policy, which offers a guaranteed rate of return.
Universal life insurance is also a permanent life insurance policy. It also has a cash value, but you can use the cash value to pay the premium, or let your accrued interest pay your premium each month.
Variable life insurance has a cash value and is similar to investing. Money that you pay in goes into a series of accounts like mutual fund accounts. You can gain or lose money, depending on the markets.
Variable universal life insurance lets you adjust the premium and death benefit amount while investing the cash value in the policy’s cash value.
Final expense insurance covers the cost of anything associated with your death, which could include medical costs, a funeral or cremation.
Group life insurance is exactly how it sounds. You purchase it through your employer.
Simplified issue life insurance allows you to get insurance without a medical exam, but you do have to fill out a questionnaire.
Guaranteed issue life insurance allows you to get insurance without a medical exam or a questionnaire.
I Chose Simplified Issue/Term Life Insurance
In my opinion, I firmly believe that term life insurance is the best option for most people. First of all, the point of term life insurance is to cover you while you still have dependents, a mortgage, etc. Eventually, our kids will be grown and the house will be paid off. My husband and I may not need life insurance after that. Plus, because term life insurance expires, it’s cheaper than whole life insurance and the rate and payout never change. I liked the idea that we’ll pay the same amount every month and my death benefit won’t change.
I also didn’t want to go through a medical exam — particularly during COVID-19.
I Chose Bestow
One of the reasons I chose Bestow is because I fell prey to the mere-exposure effect. Have you ever heard of that powerful psychological term? It’s when you develop a preference for things merely because you’re familiar with them. It’s also called the familiarity principle in social psychology. (If you’re good at marketing or sales, you know the power of this psychological phenomenon.)
Bestow is one of a million insurance agencies — you don’t have to choose the same one I did.
Bestow offers policies provided by North American Company for Life and Health Insurance®. Bestow only offers 10-year and 20-year term policies and the 20-year term is only available if you’re under 45 years old.
However, I also chose Bestow because there’s no medical exam, Both plans allow you to cancel any time, without paying any fees. You can apply for a plan in a matter of minutes online and get approved quickly. Dust off your hands. You’re done.
Plus — no blood draw? Sign me right up.
Here’s How I Signed Up
The process couldn’t have been easier. First, I filled out some basic information.
I chose 20 years because of my kids’ ages — they are seven and four, so 10 years wouldn’t be quite enough.
Then, I added my address and email address. And created a password:
It took me to this screen:
I needed to answer a few questions about my health, such as whether I have high blood pressure, cancer, etc. I also needed to check the boxes on whether I SCUBA dive, skydive or other types of high-risk activities.
A popup did ask whether a parent of mine had died of cancer or heart disease before age 65. I was able to say “No!”
I added my beneficiaries and my credit card payment. I monkeyed with the coverage a bit, then hit “Enter Your Payment” and I was set. Covered for 20 years!
Peace of Mind for the College Years
Is your child heading to college this fall? In that case, it’s still a good idea to get life insurance if you plan to use a tuition installment plan for college — you may not quite have saved all the money you need for college and plan to do it per month.
Bestow in particular only insures people ages 21 to 55, so look into different life insurance options. Life insurance is more expensive as you get older. Also, the more health problems you have, the higher your rate will be — or you could be denied altogether.
Think about this, though — I’m going to be really straightforward here. It’s totally possible to contract a disease and die within a four-year period, while your child is in college. My reality is that for all stages of pancreatic cancer combined, the one-year relative survival rate is 20 percent and the five-year rate is seven percent.
Protect Your Family
These days, it doesn’t require a whole lot of effort to get life insurance. And really, if you prefer to find the cheapest option possible, you might want to undergo the medical exam. It could save you some money in the long run.
Getting life insurance is a great way to say, “I love you!” to your family members. It’s one way to care for them the way they deserve — and it’s also a great way to help your spouse or kids do any number of things after your death, including go to college.
I loved this part of what I liked to call my “admission spiel,” because I enjoyed helping families dive into financial aid and scholarships.
Anyway, I launched into one particular admission spiel with a family in my office one day. We talked through the available merit-based scholarships the student would automatically receive through the college. (Based on his grade point average and ACT score.) Then I brightly said, “And don’t forget to fill out scholarship applications in your community and online!”
The student avoided his parents’ gaze.
The student’s dad chuckled and his mom said dryly, “The problem is getting him motivated to actually do them.”
Sound familiar?
Kids seem to fall into two camps: Those who apply for scholarships like it’s their job and those who have no interest in scholarship applications at all. The kids in the latter group might just need a little nudge. Here’s how to get your high schooler started.
Step 1: Have the talk. (The money talk!)
Your child needs to hear why it’s important to get scholarships. This may mean breaking down costs in a visual way so she can see where the gaps will be if she doesn’t apply for them.
For example, you might want to break it down like this — and you can get way fancier than I did, with charts and pie graphs and whatever!
Dream school cost: $50,000 per year
Amount of financial aid you’ll receive based on dream school’s net price calculator(net price calculators live on financial aid pages and estimate how much financial aid you may get): $20,000 per year
Total cost after net price calculator results: $30,000
Amount in 529 plan: $60,000 ($15,000 to be distributed over four years)
Out-of-pocket costs: $15,000 per year
Note: You’ll be basing this off the net price calculator, which is an estimate, but that’s okay. It’ll give you a rough idea to figure out how much potential out-of-pocket costs you’ll have.
If the out-of-pocket costs make your high schooler nervous, assure her that you’re going to work together to figure out that out-of-pocket amount. But tell her that scholarships are going to help out a lot — and that it’s better than taking out oodles of loans.
Step 2: Hammer out a goal. Then set smaller goals.
It’s hard to get started if you have no final goal. In high school, goals are built right in: English persuasion paper is due on such-and-such a date, for example. Science test on Friday.
Then, set a big goal with your child — one that you can both agree on, like “Complete 50 scholarship applications” between June and August (or whatever it may be).
Then, within that goal, set up mini-goals. A mini-goal could be like this: “Research and choose 10 scholarships to apply for during the first two weeks of June.” One of my favorite phrases: “The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” (Supposedly Confucius said it — how do they know that? I picture some guy following him around all day, writing down every word he said.)
Anyway, I recommend breaking everything down that you possibly can.
Step 3: Play to your child’s strengths.
This means two things. It means knowing your child’s capabilities within those goals. Does your child despise writing essays, even if they’re about himself? Work with him to find scholarships that eliminate an essay component or require a brief essay.
Also, make a list of your kiddo’s strengths. What’s unique about him? What does he have going for him that can niche his way into scholarships? Does he plan to major in something specific? Does he have a disability? Do his hobbies qualify him for a scholarship? Brainstorm and do some hearty research online.
Step 4: Help your high schooler get organized.
My daughter takes piano lessons, and can you guess the hardest part of practicing? You got it — getting started. She dreads it, but once she gets into a new piece, she’s fine. In fact, I finally started giving her permission to play the songs the worst she could the first time around so that they sounded terrible. That seems to work.
The hardest part is getting started, and it seems especially true for kids. (It may be hard for you as well!) But you know that once you actually get into something, it’s not so bad. But you have to start somewhere!
It helps to have a plan mapped out ahead of time so your child can stick to goals. Sticky notes on a calendar work really well. If you want to get techy, use a project management tool like Trello or Asana to keep your child on his or her goals. I personally use Trello for work and I love how due dates turn yellow and send you email reminders when a deadline looms closer.
Step 5: Talk to everyone about scholarships.
Next, alk to anyone who might have a connection — your job, your partner’s job, your neighbor — whoever you can think of! And yes, talk to that guidance counselor and those at colleges. This can be you and your child’s fact-finding mission.
Finally, once one of you find out about a scholarship, what will you do? You bet — you’ll put it on the “to do” calendar.
Step 6: Develop a few key paragraphs for pluck ’n plug.
What do I mean by pluck ’n plug? Easy: Develop a beginning, middle and end for scholarship essays that your child can use for just about any scholarship application. It’ll be a paragraph you can store on Trello, Asana or Google docs.
Will every scholarship application sound the same? Of course not! However, it sure does help with getting started when you already have something to work with.
These three paragraphs should be kind of like writing an essay for school. Your child should write an attention-grabbing intro:
My name’s Sadie and I’ve been blind since I was two. How did it happen? Unfortunately, that’s my earliest memory. My brother was a science whiz (and also 13 years older than me). One day, he…
An equally gripping middle, which addresses questions asked in individual scholarship essays (you’ll have to add answers to those later):
What’s the largest predictor of success, you ask? I believe I’ve had to overcome a lot in my life, and college is just one more of the series of challenges. I’ve read a lot (audio books are my fave!) of books about leadership and perseverance and one thing I’ve learned is that grit matters. In fact, it’s one of the largest predictors of success. Never quitting. Digging in and waking up thrilled for the challenges you face every single day, whether your world is full of color or not.
A conclusion that ties it all together:
So, I learned at an early age that life doesn’t always go as planned. But you know what? I think I dream in color — even if I can’t remember exactly what colors look like. I know grit plays a role in what happens when you fall down (blind or not) and that — not talent, not luck — is everything. It’s why I believe I deserve the XYZ Scholarship.
Your kiddo can mix and match, pluck ’n plug. And fill in the gaps. This doesn’t have to be rocket science!
Tackle the Overwhelm
Finally, tell your child she can do this. And stopping short of doing scholarship essays for her, tell her you’ll help her in any way you can.
Also, make sure your child understands that this doesn’t have to be so complicated. It’s only a matter of moving one stone, little by little.
Here it is, the secret to creating a rich experience: Build relationships during the college search.
Building relationships will transform you and your child’s college search experience.
Some days, you may think your high school student flat-out has no desire to build relationships with anyone. You may even go as far as to feel sorry for anyone at a college who’s trying to recruit your kid. After all, when’s the last time you’ve seen your kiddo actually take a phone call?
Your high schooler grew up with a smartphone at his or her fingertips, had Snapchat before he or she started high school and doesn’t remember the absence of the internet. Everyone knows the paralyzing effect smartphones can have on kids’ ability to communicate and build relationships. (But that’s another topic for another day.)
I remember when admission counselors called my house during high school — they actually called our landline. My parents or brother and sister would yell for me, I’d answer the phone and talk to the admission counselor on the other end of the phone. Crazy, huh?
Nowadays, this happens a lot: Admission counselors who call and text high school students get radio silence in return. Email — might as well forget about it.
But making friends during the college search can have lasting benefits and I’m going to challenge you to help your child do that. Can you and your teen build relationships with as many people as possible during the college search?
It’s so worth it, I promise.
Building Relationships is Key
Okay, so all of this begs the question: Why is it so important to know people, what with so many online research options at your child’s fingertips?
I’d like to point out one simple thing: Your child is going to have to interact with people during college. The beautiful buildings and nice residence halls don’t really care whether your child likes his professors or whether his work-study supervisor is a kind person. The people make a college experience extraordinary, not the six rock-climbing walls or chocolate pie in the cafeteria.
Meeting people, building relationships and fostering those friendships even after the college search can be transformational. Here are some examples of powerful connections I witnessed at the college where I worked:
Our vice president for enrollment management hosted Thanksgiving at her home several years in a row and invited students she connected with during their college search. (Their hometowns were too far away for them to travel home for a long weekend.)
Admission counselors arranged to have dinner with families of students they recruited whenever they were recruiting in the area.
The assistant director of financial aid connected with students during the first week of classes to make sure they were thriving. She always encouraged the students to see her whenever they needed something, whether they needed school supplies or even a home-cooked meal.
I talked with the fantastic Anna Dealy, associate director of advancement communication at the Worcester Polytechnic Institute in Worcester, Massachusetts. She used to work in enrollment at a private liberal arts college. “I had a territory that was a little further away. I met this student and she was a rockstar throughout the admission process and I got to know her and her family. On move-in day, I made it a point to meet with her on campus and welcome her to our community. There’s so much value in making sure people who come from further away have someone they can reach out to,” Dealy says.
She made it a point to keep up with the student throughout her four years at the college, too. Dealy says it was great to keep up with her life at the college, her studies and hear about her extracurricular activities.
“A few years later, I went out to visit her high school and it was great to talk to her guidance counselor and tell her about the things that the student was doing on campus. The mom even met me at the school to bring me Chick-fil-A. It was so nice to meet her mom!” Dealy added.
This is exactly what I mean.
Ways Relationships Can Sustain Kids During the College Search and Beyond
Whether your student’s a sophomore or junior in high school, it’s never too early to start building those friendships for later. Here’s how these connections can bloom.
They Can Guide You and Your Child During the College Search Process
When you trust someone from the college you’re looking into, it can really help solidify a decision. For example, let’s say you meet your daughter’s admission counselor, Jessi, who is absolutely awesome. You have an easy camaraderie, and every time your daughter needs something, you say, “Email Jessi! She’ll know the answer.”
Employees (Should!) Embody the Mission of the College or University
The employees you meet are representative of everything the college stands for. Colleges and universities rely on their mission, values and branding guidelines to carry on through their employees. Most employees uphold these standards. Since you can’t meet every single person on a campus during the college search, you can reasonably assume that most of the college embodies these characteristics.
When Push Comes to Shove, You Might Need Some Help with the Decision
Building relationships with people everywhere means your son or daughter will have trusted individuals at each college on his or her shortlist, which will help when it’s time to make a decision.
What do you do when your son says, “I’m not sure I want to go 1,000 miles away from home!”
What’s your first thought? Yep: “Let’s pick up the phone. Jessi can help.”
You’ll Know Your Child is in Trusted Hands
It’s scary and emotional to drop your 18-year-old off at a college on move-in day. (I know, understatement of the year.) But if there’s one small spark of comfort, it’s knowing that your child is going to a really good place.
You can feel good about sending your high schooler off to the right college because of the genuine relationships you’ve built.
Your Child Can Go to that Person for Anything Throughout College — and Beyond
Dealy added a personal touch to admission counseling. “It was so important to me to meet with students who came from further away to have a resource on campus. They were all given my cellphone number and knew they could reach out to me if they had questions,” she said.
Here’s another scenario: Let’s say you and your child meet a coach during the college visit and you know intuitively that that person will be instrumental in your student-athlete’s life. The wrestling coach at my college was like that. Student-athletes adored him and he continues to remain a powerful figure in their lives for years after college.
Dealy says it’s great for networking, too. “You never know who you could be connected to or be in touch with, whether it’s someone at the institution or an alumnus or a friend in the same field. I think networking is really important. The other thing is just to have a resource. Someone who you know you can ask anything of,” says Dealy.
Build Friendships Throughout the College Process
Do you think you can build communication and trust between parents, students and college employees? Can you and your child talk to every single person you meet during a college visit? Why not try?
Build relationships during the college search for lasting benefits — but you and your child must both reciprocate. Reach out. Email. Call. Make those connections!
As a parent, you’ll be glad you built those friendships during the college search, Dealy says.
“I think it gives parents a sense of comfort when they’re sending their students off to college. You’re trusting that institution and the people you’ve met. It can help them feel confident sending your student to a brand-new place on his or her own and find an environment that’s right for their student,” says Dealy.
