by Melissa Brock | Jun 29, 2020 | Ask the admission office |
I loved move-in day at our college. As admission counselors, we’d walk around the campus with our list of students. We’d find them in their assigned residence halls and welcome them as they lugged their futons and TVs from the car. We shook hands with their grinning dads and teary moms and even wore shirts that read, “Put Box Here” so families would, indeed, put boxes in our arms.
It was so exciting and always felt like a real celebration.
I can’t help but imagine the booooorrrrring move-in day this year. What’s it going to be like? Masks instead of “Put Box Here” tees? No more cookies and lemonade? Sanitized residence hall keys? (Well, actually, yes, I hope all of those things happen.)
Fall semester normally happens around Labor Day, and for many schools, that’s still the case. Of course, this year presents some stickier situations. You may have painstakingly helped your child make a college decision pre-COVID-19. Now, are you sure it was the right one?
One mom of a soon-to-be first-year student said to me, “My daughter heard from her university that they will have staggered eating times in the dining hall and they’re looking into possibly staggering the days of the week that kids attend face-to-face classes. I’m not sure whether the school itself is making the right decisions. I’m tempted to have my daughter sit out for this whole year, but I’m not sure that’s the best approach, either.”
Here are some truths:
- Nobody really knows how this virus will behave over the coming months.
- You may not know what to do.
- It’s really easy to feel uncertain when you read expert opinions that explicitly state that it’s a mistake to go back to college in the fall. (There are some out there!)
Two-thirds of colleges are planning to welcome back students in person, while only seven percent are planning to hold classes only online, according to the Chronicle of Higher Education, which is tracking the plans of lots of institutions.
Let’s say the school your child is planning to attend intends to open per usual. Should your child go? Luckily, there’s more than one option. You may have strong opinions (and so might your student!) which may require lots of family discussions.
Option #1: Your Child Can Attend College as Originally Planned
Your child can certainly attend the school he originally chose as a high school senior, but life on campus will be very different. He might not even realize how drastic the changes might be. Here are some changes you can discuss with your soon-to-be first year (though all of this might be hard to visualize):
- Temperatures will be checked daily.
- Students may have to sign a housing contract and anyone who signs may not get a room.
- Your child may be required to wear a face mask indoors except in residence hall rooms or bathrooms.
- Your student will be required to physically distance from everyone.
- Anyone who doesn’t comply with the rules may face ejection from campus.
- Gatherings and extracurricular activities will be banned or limited.
- Dining hall food options will be only for grab-and-go items and there will be no bunched groups in any cafeterias. You may see staggered meal times.
- Social distancing will be imposed between professors and students.
- Students will only be allowed to enter and exit in certain doorways.
- Commons areas will be closed.
- Not everyone may go back to campus. Some campuses have discussed only having freshmen and seniors back on campus.
In an effort to prepare, some schools have even mailed special coronavirus kits to students, complete with face masks, thermometers and more.
For those that will open, when is fall semester in college this year? Your child may not start till October or later as colleges and universities work to prioritize the health and safety of students, staff, faculty and their communities.
Option #2: Your Child Can Opt for Online Classes
If the school your child plans to attend is open and teaching online, your student can choose to stay home and take online classes.
Note that while colleges and universities should be commended for a quick shift to online learning this past spring, the majority of that transition happened quickly. In addition, most students had already been on campus for a half of a semester and those students were familiar with the professor and how each class was being taught.
In other words, online learning may not be a great start to a first-year experience. It’ll be more difficult for students to tap into writing, tutoring, career counseling and other resources instrumental to student success. This can be a major hurdle for vulnerable students.
Furthermore, studies have shown that students who attend video lectures on the internet end up with a lower average test score, according to the Chronicle of Higher Education. One particular study showed that Hispanic students, male students and students with low ACT scores and GPAs didn’t fare as well.
Option #3: Your Student Can Choose a Different, Less Expensive College and Do Online Classes There
The benefit to this is, of course, is that it’s cheaper! (A great reason to celebrate, right?!)
The danger of this option (in my opinion) is that your student might never go back to the school he or she originally chose. This may be unfortunate if your family carefully chose the original school.
The less expensive school may have wonderful programs and have every bit as wonderful of resources as the original school. However, make sure the following are available:
- A high four-year graduation rate
- High retention rate after freshman year (in other words, do students go back after freshman year?)
- High internship and job placement rate
- Transferable AP and college credits (particularly if your child wants to transfer back to the original college) — you’ve got to do deep research here!
- Quality of online instruction may need to be evaluated
More elite (read: more expensive) colleges aren’t always better. I always chuckle when I come across this older study, from 1999:
Alan Krueger and Stacy Berg Dale compared students who entered Ivy League and similar schools in 1976 with students who entered less prestigious colleges the same year. Krueger and Dale studied what happened to students who were accepted at an Ivy or a similar institution, but chose instead to attend a moderately selective school.
Here’s the kicker: These students had the same income 20 years later as the elite college grads. Krueger and Dale found that for students bright enough to win admission to a top school, later income “varied little, no matter which type of college they attended.”
The student was responsible for the success — not the school.
I think that’s a great reminder in this context.
Option #4: Your Student Can Take a Gap Year
I’ve never actually been a huge fan of taking a gap year between high school and college. I always considered a gap year to be a great way to lose focus and never go to college. Several of my work-study seniors would take a gap year between college and graduate school and that’s a different story. I loved it when they did that because they already had their degrees.
This year, my opinion changed. If there was any other time to take a gap year, this is it.
By the way, what’s the techy definition of a gap year? In short, it’s a semester or year of experiential learning, typically taken after high school, usually prior to postsecondary education, to deepen professional and personal awareness.
Aaaand, what’s the No. 1 thing you usually associate a gap year with? Yep, travel. Gap years usually mean backpacking Europe, mission trips to South America and more. That probably won’t happen this year. So, here’s what your child’s gap year could look like this year:
Learn a new language. (Admittedly, you could argue that you can do that in college.) If your child wants to tackle it, he can check out courses on Udemy or Coursera.
Become more familiar with a subject your child has always wanted to know more about. Now’s the time to become self-directed.
Cultivate soft skills! Oh, my goodness, soft skills are so important. Cross-cultural communication, problem-solving, adaptability! Why not build and nurture soft skills during a gap year? Emotional intelligence looks splendid on a resume — why not work on it?
Launch those entrepreneurial endeavors. Why not encourage starting a business? If you’ve noticed that your child is entrepreneurial by nature (remember how he sold or traded his snacks at summer camp and came home with a really great baseball glove?) you might encourage those entrepreneurial skills. There’s no question that COVID-19 has been terrible, but it’s also provided more opportunities than ever for entrepreneurs. Now’s the time to figure out what people are missing and need.
Chill out from academics for a while. This can be a good thing if your child’s not going to do well with online learning. Remember, it can be more difficult if you child can’t tap into a writing center, tutor (or flesh-and-blood instructors!) and other resources instrumental to student success.
A gap year can give your child the opportunity to learn about opportunities. Why not learn at an early age that life is so goooood?
Making the Decision
So, knowing all this, what should your child do? How can you help your student decide?
It’s really going to be important to have lots of discussions. You may have one idea about how this fall will go in your head and your child might have a completely different idea. “Mom, I signed up to go to this college — why don’t you want me to go? I’ll wear my mask!”
On the other hand, your child might say, “I don’t want to go to school there. It’s not going to look the same at all as our visit.” In that case, your child will be totally right — but you still might want him to go to college because you’re not sure if he’ll have the same motivation a year from now.
What to Do if You Clash Over a Final Approach
Contact the college if you, your child and your family are having a hard time making a final decision about what to do. The college wants to know what your concerns are and wants to do whatever it can to help you.
It’s okay to get help beyond that. Talk to your spouse or partner, parents, friends, a mental health counselor. Remember one of the truths I listed at the top? Here it is again: You may not know what to do — and that’s okay.
Start a lengthy conversation with your child and listen. Listen, listen, listen. Remember, whatever decision you make doesn’t have to be permanent. Your child can still go to the college he originally planned to attend, even if it’s just a little later on.
by Melissa Brock | Jun 25, 2020 | Ask the admission office |
It’s almost senior year! What an exciting time to get started on the college search!
I’m getting questions from families about whether it’s too late to launch a full-scale college search right as a rising senior. (Grrrr… COVID-19!) (By the way, I used to use the term “rising senior” all the time when I was in admission… so much so that one kid stopped me to ask, “What is a rising senior?” and I had to laugh.)
Anyway, repeat after me: It’s definitely not too late. Trust me, I used to counsel second-semester seniors who still weren’t sure where they wanted to go to school!
For example, meet Grace. She decided during the tail end of her senior year that the school she’d originally chosen wasn’t the right one for her. Terri, her admission counselor at our college, texted and emailed her often, dazzled Grace and her parents during the college visit and connected her with about a dozen people who worked at the college.
Grace could see herself succeeding and thriving and signed right up. She made the best decision ever and is now the marketing director at a regional hospital.
The goal is to make the right decision the first time. If your child wants to transfer, here’s what happens in an exhausting swoop:
- You have to help your child figure out where to transfer.
- You’ll need to go on visits together all over again.
- You’ll have to cross-check which credits transfer.
- The stress! It’ll involve double the amount of yoga you usually pay for.
Trust me, it’s a headache — and I always think of the student who transferred six times. (I’m not even kidding.)
This guide will help you get your child prepared for college starting today. Here are the steps I recommend taking.
1. Talk with your student.
Have as many conversations about college as your teen will allow. It’s a great idea to get on the same page as soon as possible. You might find:
- You’re not thrilled about the schools on your teen’s list. Check out how to be happy about your teen’s college choices.
- Together, you’re in total agreement about where your child wants to go to school.
I’m constantly reminded of my dentist’s experience with her son. She wanted him to look at schools far away.
He ended up looking at one college in town and a university about an hour away. (I haven’t had a chance to talk to her to find out where he went.)
Make sure it’s a family discussion! You want to launch the college search with a well-intentioned plan. When you don’t have a plan, it’s easy to start bouncing around like a pinball. It might not take too long before you start feeling disorganized with the college search.
2. Come up with a plan.
What’s the plan? You might not have any idea, and that’s okay. But how much better do you feel when you have a plan? I know I do.
In fact, I have an intense personal interest in goal setting. I really like to have specific goals for pretty much everything, whether they’re daily goals, weekly goals or even goals 10 years from now. Here are some great visit goals you and your child may want to put in place:
- Come up with a short list of schools to visit by July 15.
- Contact admission counselors at each of these schools with your child by July 30.
- Visit those schools in person by October 30 (pending visit restrictions due to COVID-19, of course).
Other things you might want to map out: Application goals. Scholarship goals. Can you think of others?
3. Sign up for the ACT or SAT. (Or maybe not!)
Breaking news! The ACT or SAT might not be a requirement for the class of 2021, thanks to COVID-19. Many admission experts believe that SAT and ACT scores predict academic success less often than high school academic performance. In addition, ACT and SAT scores typically skew favorably toward families with higher income and create opportunity gaps for African American and Latino students.
What does this mean? It means that admission offices could forever change admission entrance requirements. This is big news!
It’s officially possible to get into half of all Ivy League institutions, high-ranked liberal arts colleges, almost all universities in Virginia and all universities in California without an ACT or SAT score. Harvard University recently disclosed that it won’t require test scores from the class of 2021.
The June ACT test was cancelled, the SAT’s next offered test date is August 29, and it remains to be seen whether that test occurs. Check FairTest to find out which colleges require the test, whether it’s optional or flexible for all or many applicants who recently graduated or will graduate from U.S. high schools.
You could also contact admission offices at the schools your child’s interested in to learn more.
4. Start planning for college visits.
How many college visits should you plan for?
Simple! As many schools as your child is interested in. I’ve known students who visit up to 15 schools and others who visit one. My recommendation is to visit one small, one medium and one large school to get a comprehensive overview of all of your choices.
By the way, the goals I listed above will work great! Just adjust the dates as needed:
- Come up with a short list of schools to visit by July 15.
- Contact admission counselors at each of these schools by July 30.
- Visit those schools in person by October 30, pending visit restrictions due to COVID-19, of course.
One question I get a lot is whether your child should visit a school before or after he applies, and the answer is that it doesn’t really matter. An application doesn’t commit your child to a school unless your child has applied to a college early decision. Early decision (ED) plans are binding. Your student must attend the college if he is accepted as an ED applicant. (The application deadline is usually around November, though schools may have changed their policies due to COVID-19. Make sure you check!)
5. Have the money talk.
College seemed a long way off when your child was a toddler, didn’t it? If the years have flown by with not a lot of savings under your belt, that’s okay. You can still build a financial plan that meets your future needs.
Have you and your child had the money talk yet? It may be time. (Check out 5 Top Tips for Easing Financial Fears About Paying for College.)
I talked with the very talented Ksenia Yudina, founder and CEO of UNest. She recommends taking a good look at your current expenses and spending with your child. “It’s likely changed through the pandemic. Establish a realistic dollar amount that you can set aside each month,” she says. (Yes! You can still save even if college is just a year away. Every penny counts.)
Yudina suggests getting your other family members involved, too. “Don’t keep your family financial goals and aspirations a secret,” says Yudina. “Share them with grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, friends and have them contribute to your child’s savings plan. Dollars invested in your plan will go way further than gifts like clothes!”
She also says to teach your kids the value of money. “We’ve all heard it: ‘Money doesn’t grow on trees.’ It may be a cliche, but it is a good starting point in building a solid set of values in your kids. Getting the balance right can be challenging. Go overboard and your kids could become obsessed with money. Being too lax can lead to kids that don’t appreciate the sacrifices you have made, and that don’t know how to budget or spend money wisely,” Yudina adds.
It’s a good time to talk about loans — how you feel about them and what they can do for your child’s future.
By the way, if you and your child will need to borrow, there’s good news for student loan borrowers. Federal Direct student loans may continue to dip for student borrowers. The Federal Parent PLUS loan and private student loans may continue to lower.
6. Communicate with your child’s school counselor.
Are classes ready to go for this fall? (You know, despite that uh… abrupt end to junior year?) Make sure you and your child touch base with your teen’s school counselor. You can share which schools your child’s looking at to make sure your child’s classes are right on track. Here’s a general guide — but check with the colleges on your child’s short list:
English
It’s highly recommended to take four years of English classes, so encourage your high schooler not to skimp on that last year of literature! Any class where your child will study writing and literature is a bonus because just about every career will require your child to write well. English classes also encourage reading, analysis and communication skills.
Math
Same for four years of math! Your child might find that she’s more successful in college if she takes four (not just three) years of math. It’s easy to forget certain concepts and a bit of momentum if your child doesn’t carry on through year four. Math classes should include at least four of the following six classes (in order):
- Pre-algebra
- Algebra
- Geometry
- Algebra II or trigonometry
- Precalculus
- Calculus
Science
It’s okay to squeak by with three years of laboratory science classes but a fourth year is still a bonus. Make sure your child’s taken the following:
Social Studies
Most colleges require two years of social studies, like world history and U.S. history. Other social science options include:
- Government
- Sociology
- Geography
- Psychology
Foreign Language
Lots of colleges require a minimum of two years of language study while in high school, and it doesn’t matter which foreign language your child chooses to study.
Arts
A small number of colleges require one year of visual or performing arts prior to admission.
Next, take a look at your child’s credentials with the school counselor and learn the colleges’ admission rates, median GPAs and SAT and ACT scores.
- Does your child have a reach school on his list? A college should be considered a reach for your kiddo if his test scores and GPA are below (or at the lower end of) what a college typically accepts.
- Does his GPA align with that of accepted students at colleges? Bingo! You’ve identified a target school!
- Finally, a safety school is one that accepts a high percentage of applicants. Your child’s GPA and test scores go above and beyond the qualifications for a safety school.
You may want to start a handy spreadsheet to identify these schools and continue to add to the list. The college and career counselor at your child’s school might be able and interested to help you add to the list. When colleges visit your child’s high school, many of them take time to sit down with the school counselor and help them understand what that school offers.
Here’s a quick checklist of conversation topics you can bring up with your child’s school counselor:
- High school schedule for senior year
- AP or college credit classes
- Colleges on your child’s radar and any others that the counselor would recommend
- College admission questions
- College application timeline questions
- Scholarship and financial aid options — particularly local scholarships
7. Get your teen excited about scholarships!
Don’t forget to ask about local scholarships when you talk with the school counselor. School counselors are the first people many local businesses alert when they decide to create a scholarship. For example, let’s say a local dentist creates a scholarship for students who plan to go into dentistry. The dentist usually calls up the school and the call gets transferred to the school counselor.
The College Board also offers a scholarship search tool you and your teen can look at together.
Finally, don’t forget to check into the numerous scholarships available at just about every college in the United States. You’ll want to ask detailed questions about scholarships and how to get them when you do your visits. You don’t have to wait until visits, though. You can do lots of research now. Call or email the admission office and ask about scholarships so you know what to expect.
It’s never, ever too early to start applying for scholarships. Summer before senior year is a great time to make that happen.
8. Create your FSA ID.
What’s an FSA ID? It’s a username and password you must create if you want to file the FAFSA. It gives you access to Federal Student Aid’s online systems and can serve as your legal signature.
Now, you can’t officially file the FAFSA until October 1, but you can still create your FSA ID. Put “filing the FAFSA” on the calendar! You’ll also need to gather up the following:
- Social Security numbers for you, your student’s other parent and your student
- Alien Registration numbers (if you’re not U.S. citizens)
- Your federal income tax returns, W-2s, and other records of money you earn, ,though you may be able to transfer your federal tax return information into your FAFSA using the IRS Data Retrieval Tool. This makes pulling in information from your FAFSA really simple.
- Bank statements and records of investments (if applicable)
- Records of untaxed income (if applicable)
9. Start reaching out to people.
Reach out to an admission counselor, financial aid officer, coach — even if visits aren’t officially happening right now. Call admission offices and ask whether you and your son or daughter will be able to visit with these people using tech options. Make a list of questions you and your high school junior would like to ask, including:
- What are the majors and minors the college offers?
- What are the results we can expect after majoring in X? What’s the employment rate/graduate school acceptance rate?
- How are semesters divided up? Do you have a May term or traditional semesters?
- What are the opportunities within athletic programs?
- What are your social and extracurricular opportunities?
- How does my child get plugged into internship opportunities?
- What’s the total cost of attendance? How much financial aid do students at your school typically receive?
- What’s campus life like (including meal plans and housing)?
- What are your admission requirements?
- Can you explain the application process (including whether that will change due to COVID-19)? When are your application deadlines?
These questions are just the tip of the iceberg! I could literally think of hundreds. It’s so important to start building relationships during the college search. Learn more about why building relationships must happen during the college search.
10. Have your high schooler update that resume.
This is a great exercise because it may be necessary for college applications and it also helps your child build his elevator speech for college interviews.
Many colleges encourage your high schooler to interview with an admission representative or alumnus during the application process, either on campus or in the area in which you live. The interview is an important part of the application process for some schools and certain colleges and universities even have a very specific timeline for them. This may have changed during COVID-19, so add that list of questions for the admission office: “Where, when and how will admission interviews take place?”
You may want to help your child proof his resume before he ships it off to schools.
11. Start those applications!
This is the slowest summer on record and now that everything’s cancelled (no baseball games, no summer camp counseling duties!) your child might find some quiet time to sit down with several applications.
Check with each college your student is interested in and find out about each college’s application deadlines.
Target applications at schools your child’s reasonably sure he’s interested in. Remember, in most cases, applying to a college doesn’t mean your high schooler must commit to a school. Think of college applications kind of like sending a resume to jobs. Apply if there’s a serious interest!
Tackle One Task at a Time
Feeling overwhelmed by what’s on your rising senior’s plate? It’s okay. It’s okay to feel like you’re behind because you weren’t able to get to go on college visits this past spring. Your child may even be feeling down in the dumps because he missed out on junior year track — and therefore couldn’t boost his times for college coaches.
Just remember that everyone’s in the same boat. Take a look at the list of goals you put into place during Step 2 and put some time into crossing off each item on the checklist. Also, don’t think you have to take on all these steps in the order I’ve listed them. Your child might want to tackle all of his applications first — and that’s great!
by Melissa Brock | Jun 23, 2020 | Financial aid and scholarships |
I vividly remember working with a student whose dad said, “Whaddya mean, it costs $XX,XXX for my daughter to go to college? I’m not giving up golf and vacations!”
He was joking, he was joking. (I think.)
At any rate, I know that on some level, just about everyone can relate. You may think, “When do I get to do what I want to do? When my kids are out of college? Uh, no thanks. I’ll be what, 70 by then?”
Of course kids are a blessing and you’re willing to sacrifice for them.
But is it possible to have it all? Is it possible to pay for college and help your kids through a very expensive part of life? Without taking out oodles of loans?
Yes, it is! Yes, it is. You can do this — even if college is coming at you at 60 miles per hour. It just might take some creativity and careful planning (and maybe a side hustle to boost your bank account). Here’s how it can be done.
Prioritize
My husband has been hankering after a garage for the better part of a decade. Actually, I take that back. He wants a shop. A place to store his tools, a car project and a boat.
Do you need a lot of things all at once? Maybe your husband wants a new car and a shop, you want a new kitchen and you want to pay for college all at once. Life is short, right? You deserve it. You’ve worked hard all your life. But have you asked yourself what you really need?
Consider these statistics, directly from fee.org:
- The average American home contains 300,000 items.
- One out of four houses with two-car garages is so stuffed a car can’t even fit in the garage. (I’m embarrassed to admit that I’m one of the four!)
- Each American throws away over 68 pounds of clothing per year.
- Americans spend about $1.2 trillion a year on nonessential items.
I’m not saying that the “things” you want aren’t essential. It’s a great exercise to decide your priorities and figure out what’s essential. I know from experience that prioritizing what you want is easier said than done.
How to Evaluate Your Priorities
My husband’s shop isn’t done and he’s getting increasingly nervous about the lack of time he has to build it. In fact, I can almost hear his train of thought: “It’s almost already July and the cement floor isn’t poured yet… When am I going to build the thing because it’s going to be December before we know it? The truck will have to go into storage somewhere else because there’s already snow on the ground… AAAH!”
Poor guy.
But in the grand scheme of things, the shop doesn’t have to be built now. In fact, he could wait another year or two if he really needed to. However, he wants it now so he has enough time to work on a car (which could take years). He wants to be able to have it ready so he can teach our son all about restoring cars as well.
So, there’s a bigger priority in the works here — son and dad time. Priorities go deeper than wants. In fact, they drive to the very heart of our most important values.
How do the things you want align with your priorities and values? Here are some examples. You may want to:
- Install a pool to spend more time with family.
- Build a bigger dining room to entertain and encourage closer friendships.
- Help your child with college so he or she’s debt free after college.
- Go on an anniversary trip to become closer to your spouse or partner.
So, what are yours? Getting clear on your priorities can often help you decide how to put your money into pieces and parts that achieve those goals.
Use Your Money to Fulfill Your Priorities
Let’s say you decide your priorities are:
- Paying for college.
- Building a new shop.
- Painting your cabinets (instead of getting a new kitchen).
- The car will have to wait.
The reality is, we all have a finite supply of money and lots and lots of buckets.
When you discuss your priorities with your family, maybe you agree that your priority is to make sure your children don’t start their working years in debt and that you want to be able to help them pay for college.
Maybe you decide the full kitchen upgrade is a want, not a need. You can cook just as well and entertain friends in the kitchen you have. Furthermore, you do some research and realize that a full kitchen upgrade won’t give you a great return on your investment when you sell down the road.
You realize you can get along with the van you have. You realize your jealousy of your next-door neighbor’s shiny new van was getting the best of you. (Due to the large scrape on the front bumper from backing out of the garage too quickly. Yes, this is coming from personal experience. My van actually does have a recent large scrape and rock-chipped windshield.)
On the other hand, what if your priorities are different? Let’s say your main priority is to spend more time road tripping with your family. In that case, the van may have gone in the first priority slot and paying for college might move to the second slot on the list, like this:
- Buy a new car.
- Save for college.
- Build a shop.
- Paint the kitchen cabinets.
Determine How You’ll Juggle Various Goals
Once you determine your priorities, figure out how you’ll get them done. Have some fun with this! It can be like a fun puzzle to determine how you’ll get to those things you really want. Here are some ideas of how you can go about doing it.
- Estimate how much money you’ll need for each goal you’d like to achieve. It might cost more over time for things like college but there are lots of calculators that can help you estimate how much it will cost later on.
- Ask yourself how much of your savings you’ll need and when you’ll need it. Do you need the money soon? If so, you’ll need to organize your finances so you can save the money more quickly.
- Create an online savings schedule that aligns with your paydays. Decide how much you’ll swoop into a savings account immediately after you get paid. If you do it regularly and often, it’ll become a habit and you won’t miss that money. (Promise!)
- Don’t forget to create a separate account. You don’t want to spend the money you’ve earmarked for other goals, so make sure it goes into a different account. It also keeps you going! When you see how much money is in your “other goals” account, it’s inspiring.
- Treat this extra savings like a bill. In other words, treat money for your extra savings as if it’s a required payment like a utility bill. Make sure the payments are automatic so they come out of your paycheck right away, every time.
- Ask yourself whether you need a side hustle. You might need another source of income to float your project. What are your talents? Can you brainstorm extra ways to make money? It can help you hit your goals much faster if you place all of your extra money in your savings account to reach your goals.
Tips for College Savings
Guess what? The tips for saving for college are the same as the steps listed above for saving for other goals.
What might be a little trickier is determining how much to save. This can get confusing because you might not be sure what type of college your child will attend — community college, state university, liberal arts college, etc.
In other words, how much goes in the bucket?
The rule of thumb is to save as much as you can.
Even if your child only has two years of high school left, it’s worth saving as much as you can. You might not want to sock a lot into a regular savings account because there are other types of accounts that offer tax benefits. You can consider channeling that money into the following types of accounts:
- Education Savings Accounts (ESAs) or Education IRAs: These are tax-deferred accounts with earnings and withdrawals which may be free from federal income tax if used for qualified education expenses. Contribution limits apply.
- 529 Plan: 529 plans allow you to invest for your child’s education or even your own. You can make sizeable contributions every year and also shift portions of assets in a 529 to future generations.
- UTMA or UGMA (Uniform Gift to Minors Act): An UTMA or UGMA offers a way to transfer securities to a minor. You’ll call it an UTMA or UGMA, depending on which state your child resides.
There are various pluses and minuses with each type of plan, and it’s a great idea to consult with a financial advisor about which type of plan is best for you. Your best bet is to make it automatic, just like you do with your other savings accounts. (Who knew you could save for a kitchen just as effectively as you can saving for college?)
Staying on Track
Part of staying motivated is making sure you check your progress. Let’s say you funnel each of your savings streams into different accounts. Keep a fun tally system on the bulletin board in your office or on a spreadsheet so you know exactly how much money you’ve saved at any given time. It keeps you motivated and excited as you see those numbers climb. You can go old school with a Post-it Note and jot down all your numbers. You can also use a tool like Personal Capital or Mint to track your spending and savings. (I use both.)
You might not be able to save as much money as you want if you have several goals on your plate. You might feel like you’re getting nowhere fast if you’re saving for four different items. The buckets fill up a lot more slowly when you’re trying to funnel your finite extra income into four different streams.
So, how do you stay motivated when it seems like there are only pennies in the bottoms of four different buckets? Great question. Why not tackle your smallest payment first?
For some reason, this reminds me of the Debt Snowball method. The Debt Snowball method means you tackle your smallest debt amount first. You get an instant win by paying that off, then move on to your larger debt amounts.
In other words, save for one thing (the smallest amount), then the next largest amount, and so on. That way, you only tackle one or two things at a time and you get quick wins along the way.
How to Get Through It When You’re Over It
Sigh. Saving for things often loses its excitement really fast. I remember a long time ago, one of my friends was really gung-ho about saving for a new car and I was really excited for her. She’d mapped out a robust savings plan for how she’d have her beautiful new (used) car in a year.
A week later, I went over to her house and a new car was sitting in the driveway.
She’d caved and gotten a loan. “I just couldn’t wait anymore,” she told me. “I wanted it now.”
It’s easy to take out loans for the things you really want, isn’t it? Sometimes it’s necessary — you may need to take out a loan because you’ve got no other choice. What else do you do when you don’t have the money and your car breaks down? What else do you do when your child’s ready for college and you haven’t saved quite enough?
Anyone at any life stage can experience this. But I always encourage trying to save for the “extras.” Even the things that fulfill your priorities and values but that you don’t absolutely need right away. My husband’s shop is a great example.
You Can Do This!
So, if you want that [kitchen, boat, new bathroom, she shed] but college is coming soon, now’s a great time to start making a plan. And it’s still possible to make a plan if college is catapulting right around the corner (maybe it’s in just a few months)!
You may just need to heavily consider how you’ll make it happen more quickly. You might even need to come up with a more robust savings plan early on so you can prep for those college bills and the things you really want.
by Melissa Brock | Jun 18, 2020 | Build relationships |
The last time I went to the dentist, my dentist told me all about how the college search was going with her senior. (Naturally, I wanted to ask her a billion questions as her dental instruments clinked against my teeth.)
Anyway, she told me that her senior, Will, was happily considering a local liberal arts college and a state school an hour down the road. She said to him, “Do you have a reach school? Somewhere you really, really want to go? Far away?”
He thought for a second. “Nah,” he replied. He went back to playing his video game.
She was kind of disappointed. Later, she asked him why he didn’t want to “see what else is out there.” Will told her he thought it might be weird to do something other than what everyone else seemed to be doing.
Another mom I know has a student who’s completely focused on saving money, not taking out any loans and making it easy on his parents. He’s looking at state schools and private colleges to humor his parents, but his mom said, “He’s seriously looking at community colleges and I’m actually disappointed. Imagine that! Disappointed that he wants to go to college and save us money. But… I just don’t think community college is the best fit for him.”
You want your kids to make their own college decisions, yet you want college to be the right choice the first time around. So what do you do when you feel slightly disappointed (or a lot disappointed) by your student’s shortlist?
Never fear — here are some helpful pointers!
1. Know that it’s Okay to Feel This Way
When you‘re unhappy with college choice or your child’s college search isn’t going the way you envisioned, you might feel sad, confused, guilty and also harbor a range of other emotions. First of all, know that your feelings are normal.
It might bring up reminders of other times in your life you were slightly disappointed. Remember when your daughter decided to give up piano lessons? Or your son decided to choose soccer over baseball?
It’s natural — you’ve invested some major time and energy (and money!) into piano lessons or soccer. Let’s take piano lessons, for example. You invested your time by hovering over your daughter as she practiced and drove her to piano lessons every Thursday. You invested your assumptions (“Wow, she played that song really well!”), hopes and dreams (“Maybe she’ll get into Juilliard someday!”).
The more invested you feel, the more you expect an incredible outcome. Same with college. You feel mounting expectations for your child with every A+ math test and every note from an English teacher that says, “You’re a Shakespeare whiz!”
But here’s an interesting question: Is your child supposed to fit your expectations or are your expectations supposed to fit your child? You don’t want to drive a wedge between the two of you.
2. Make Sure Your Student is Ready for the Next Step
E. St. John said, “There is, perhaps, no college decision that is more thought-provoking, gut-wrenching and rest-of-your-life oriented — or disoriented — than the choice of a major.”
I’d like to add “choice of college” to that list, too. This is particularly true because you might have to ask yourself if what your child’s ready for. Some kids have a lot of growing up to do before they choose a college.
I recruited Jesse, a bright (really bright!) student. He had the worst time getting through his first year of college because, suddenly, there was this gigantic responsibility on his shoulders — how well he did in school depended completely on him. He faced enormous distractions because his friends (seriously) never went to sleep — they just hung out all the time. To make matters worse, he’d let his grades slip during his senior year in high school so he could have fun with his high school friends. In one fell swoop, he weakened his study habits before he’d even gotten to college.
The increased degree of freedom and independence was too much for him. His relationship with his parents suffered and so did his grades.
How well do you think your child will do in college? Is your child a major procrastinator? Is she smart but easily overwhelmed by what’s set in front of her? Know your child’s capabilities and think carefully about whether he or she can handle the type of college you’ve always dreamed of.
By the way, Jesse’s story ended well! He did graduate and is now a teacher in California.
3. Ask Yourself Whether Your Dreams Are Overshadowing Your Child’s
This is definitely a family decision, particularly if you’re paying for college. But ultimately, it’s hopefully your child’s decision. You know your student will be successful if he knows he’s blazing his own trail.
My former boss’ son went to a state university despite the fact that she really wanted him to go to a private liberal arts college. She’s the proud alumna of a liberal arts college herself and works at a liberal arts college and knows the benefits. He had nothing to do with any of it and shipped himself off to a state university. Of course, she’s happy he chose a great state university but had to give up on her long-standing dream of him attending her alma mater. (She’d always pictured his flaming red hair bobbing up and down her alma mater’s soccer field.) It was a little bit of a letdown to know that he’d never play soccer there like she had.
Nobody warns you that you might have to mourn this a little bit. There’s research out there that says most moms have a bout of real grief after they drop off their kids at college. (Note: There’s good news. Nine out of 10 moved on from this feeling within a month or two, and some do sooner.)
But nobody tells you that you might be deeply disappointed for a while about The College Choice that Never Materialized. Lots of kids refuse to go to their parents’ alma maters or where their parents really want them to go. (I’ve seen it happen firsthand after so much effort to attract these kids.)
4. Consider the Big Picture
The goal is college. The goal is to get into college — and make it, and graduate and get a job. (And be happy.) If your child feels he must do X, then X and X to get there (whatever those Xs are) then it’s important to remember one thing: Your child’s still going to college. If you have to tell yourself that a million times, do it. But keep the big picture in mind. Your goal was to save for college — and your child is going.
Now, it’s still important to make him aware of certain oppositions you have. Maybe the school he’s going to isn’t accredited or is in a known gang neighborhood — or whatever. Obviously, if he will endanger himself or his future, it’s not a good idea and you must have that important discussion.
5. Talk to Your Teen
Yeah! Have you had the deep-down, heart-to-heart discussions with your child about college that last late into the night? (This is what I’m picturing in 10 years when my oldest starts her journey. Please tell me this will happen!) Obviously, how much you talk about college depends a lot on both of your personalities and how open your child is to talking about the college search.
Evaluate the Academic Fit Together
The academic fit is obviously one of the most important parts of the college experience. Ask your teen what he’d like to get out of the academic experience and what his priorities are.
Talk about the academic differences between a community college, a state university, a liberal arts college as well as undergraduate business schools and other types of colleges within the college. Talk about academic rigor between like institutions. A small rural college might pack an academic punch but an Ivy League institution is obviously going to kick it up a notch.
It might be interesting to hear about his biases and perceptions. Make sure your teen is getting his information from a reputable source. His well-intentioned assistant baseball coach might not be as reliable a source as a college professor, admission counselor or financial aid representative.
There’s no shame if both of you aren’t sure what the exact facts are. That’s what the college search is all about — it’s a fact-finding mission. Do whatever you can to be sure you’re getting the right facts about academics.
Also, remember that a lot of colleges pay to be on the “Best of” lists. Use your best judgment when you’re Googling yet another “Best Small Liberal Arts Colleges in the Northwest” list. Your best bet is to visit each college, ask lots of questions, sit in on classes and make those determinations for yourself.
Talk About the Importance of Social Growth
I’m going to flat-out say it: There’s a big difference between a commuter college versus a residential campus. If your child’s a social butterfly, she may already be thinking she wants to live in a sorority or on a residential campus. She may naturally gravitate that direction.
A more introverted student may want to go the community college route because he’s hoping to live at home and keep life how he knows it.
But what’s best for both of these types of students in terms of social growth? An introverted student might thrive at a university, a bubbling social butterfly might be able to focus better in a smaller environment.
Have a Discussion About Retention
Retention rate is certainly something that doesn’t come to mind immediately during the college search. I believe it deserves careful investigation.
What is retention, anyway? A college or university’s retention rate is measured by its percentage of first-time, first-year undergraduate students who continue at that school the next year. Let’s use my recruit, Jesse, as an example. He studied full-time in the fall semester of 2016 and kept studying at the college during the next fall semester. He was included in that cohort of students who retained during their first year.
Here’s an easy way to learn about a school’s retention rate. Check out College Navigator from the National Center for Education Statistics. I really love that tool! Just type in the name of the school, find it in the drop-down, then click on “retention.” You’ll be able to see first-year retention and overall graduation rates and a lot of other great information.
You want this retention rate to be as high as possible. Steer clear of a college if its retention rate is really low — like in the 30th percentile. This means a large number of students transfer out after freshman year. If your student is really excited about a college with a low retention rate, you’d better quiz the admission counselors at that school about why its retention rate is so low.
Talk About How a Visit is Really Important
Has your teen already decided where he’s going to go without checking it out?
Just because your child’s got his mind made up, try to strike a deal. Teach your child how to schedule a college visit at one large, one medium and one small school to give him an array of options.
Talk About Money
Is your fear about money manifesting itself in disappointment? In other words, are you disappointed because your child has chosen a really expensive school and you’re not sure you can make it happen?
Conversely, have you set aside a pile of money and your child isn’t going to use it? Maybe he’s opted for a community college but you planned for an Ivy League. Is the amount you’ve invested equally proportionate to your giant expectations?
The money part of college can bring out all sorts of emotions and fear is a big one. Just make sure your child understands that your disappointment is placed on money — not his or her decision to go to college.
6. Know that Your Child Can Go into Any Industry with a Degree from Any College
This is huge. In fact, there’s some major evidence that pinpoints exactly what matters most in lifetime success. Want to know the secret?
It’s grit. Grit is the passion and perseverance to achieve long-term goals. It’s a stick-to-itiveness that simply having a degree won’t magically do to instigate success. Psychologist Angela Duckworth has said, “Grit is passion and perseverance for long-term goals. Grit is living life as a marathon, not a sprint.”
If your child decides that College X (which you’re not a big fan of) is the best place for him, rest easy if you’ve noticed your child’s excellent work ethic. Your kiddo will be just fine.
Disappointment Happens — But Keep Your Eyes on the Prize
Again, you know the prize is that calligraphy-clad diploma at the end of the road. Your child’s going to get there. Often, good decision making for success in college includes making excellent decisions about college from the get-go.
Make sure you tell your child you’re proud of so many things, including his choice to go to college (even if you’re not excited about the path he’s taking to get there).
Socrates said, “Know thyself,” and in this case, “Know thy child” is so applicable.
by Melissa Brock | Jun 11, 2020 | Financial aid and scholarships |
Your child may be gung-ho about experiencing all there is to soak up about residential living during his or her first year at college.
On the other hand, your kid may refuse to set foot in a dorm. Maybe she doesn’t like the idea of sharing a bathroom with 30 other girls. Maybe dorm life just doesn’t appeal.
For whatever reason, let’s dig into this all-important question: Will your child get extra financial aid if he or she lives off campus?
In short — no. However, it’s important to know that off-campus living doesn’t affect your financial aid eligibility.
In fact, I think Notre Dame’s website sums it up nicely. It says:
Living on campus does not affect a student’s financial aid eligibility. A standard room and meals amount is used to determine undergraduate students’ cost of attendance whether they live on or off campus.
— Notre Dame’s website
Generally, this is the case at most schools, but it’s always best to check with every school your student’s interested in. Here’s what you need to know.
Why Live Off Campus?
First of all, why do students choose to live off campus? There are a variety of reasons, and sometimes it’s not always a decision your child will make freely. Universities often don’t have enough room for all students to live on campus.
But here again, all colleges have different policies. It’s best to ask. For example, the college I worked for required all students to live on campus. In fact, you needed to petition the residence life office staff in order to live off campus — and that reward was granted just to a select few.
Why’d they do that? Well, I worked at a small liberal arts college. The requirement was put into place to make sure that the college built a sense of community. If even half of the students lived off campus, the college would be a ghost town. I was actually super grateful for that requirement because small campuses need that community feel. (It’s definitely a very different story at a large state university.)
The point of telling you this is to check into a college and university’s policies very carefully when you go on visits. If your child isn’t sure he likes the college’s policies regarding residence life, he’d better steer clear of attending that college altogether.
So, why do some students choose to live off campus? Here are a few reasons:
- Potentially less expensive
- More space
- Less noisy than a buzzing residence hall
- Potential garage parking — it’s way easier to live off campus with a car
- No residential advisors (RAs) and fewer rules (including curfews)
- Increased privacy (no communal bathrooms!)
- Easier with work and other social commitments
- Roommate choice is more targeted
On the other hand, here are some reasons your child may prefer to live on campus:
- Potentially less expensive
- Offers a more social atmosphere and a gateway to the campus community
- Fewer responsibilities (paying utilities, making rent payments, etc.)
- Easier access to the cafeteria and broader food choices
- Easy access to campus resources like the library, student center, gym, etc.
- No need to drive to campus or take public transportation
- Your child is more likely to complete a degree — that one is HUGE!
- Services like internet, water, sewer, waste removal, etc. are already built in
- Opportunities to participate in residence hall association
- Laundry facilities are available
As you can see, there’s a lot to consider when you and your child are thinking through the benefits of each. Notice that the first item on each list is “potentially less expensive” — it might be cheaper to live on campus or off campus.
While that might sound confusing, you just have to run the numbers. Rent will naturally be cheaper in Omaha, Nebraska, compared to Cambridge, Massachusetts. We’ll dive into the numbers a little later in this post. I’ve also created a handy budgeting spreadsheet to help you and your student figure out which option is cheapest.
Note: This entire article tackles financial aid for off-campus housing by paying rent for an apartment, house or townhouse. It’s obviously going to be cheaper if your student lives at home with you and doesn’t plan to pay rent while going to school.
How Financial Aid Works with Room and Board
Your child won’t get extra financial aid by living off campus, so how does the money get distributed? It all starts with a college or university’s Cost of Attendance, or COA.
How Colleges and Universities Calculate Cost of Attendance
The COA is an approximate calculation of your child’s complete expenses. It includes items like tuition, room, board, fees, books, supplies, transportation, loan fees and other miscellaneous expenses. The COA helps determine the maximum amount of total grants and loans your student can receive. In short, financial aid offices use the COA to determine your child’s eligibility for financial aid. The COA may also include other things — disability costs, study abroad program costs and more.
You may even want to alert the college your student is considering if you have any unusual expenses that might affect your cost of attendance.
The COA works with another factor — your Expected Family Contribution (EFC) — to determine how much financial aid your child will get. In fact, it’s an easy subtraction problem. Colleges and universities subtract your EFC from the school’s COA (I know, all the acronyms)!
What’s an EFC? It’s the government’s estimate of what you and your child may be able to pay for a year of college. It’s based on your income, assets, age, number of dependents and more. The difference between the cost of attendance and the EFC is how much financial aid must make up the difference.
When you fill out the FAFSA for your child, you’ll need to indicate whether your child plans to live on campus or not.
So, let’s apply all this to an example. A student named Rachel plans to attend College A in the fall. She and her mom filled out the FAFSA together and found out that her Expected Family Contribution (EFC) is $12,000. College A’s Cost of Attendance (COA) is $52,000 — again, this includes tuition, room, board and fees. The difference, $52,000 – $12,000, equals $40,000 — and within that figure is room and board. Financial aid calculations will be different for students who live in off-campus housing and $40,000 must be made up through financial aid.
Which is More Expensive — Living On or Off Campus?
Is off-campus housing always less expensive than on-campus housing? (I’ve heard so many college kids say that.)
The truth is that Trulia’s 2018 Market Trends Campus Report said that in 28 of 48 colleges and universities it surveyed, it was either the same price or cheaper to be off campus, with average savings of $219 per month for those with a roommate. Meals were included in the housing options for 8 of these 28 colleges and universities, which added to the expense. Removing these schools from consideration brought the average monthly savings in off-campus housing down to $146.
I did some more digging to find the actual cost of living on campus compared to living off campus:
Average cost of room and board, according to Debt.org:
- $8,887 per school year at public colleges and universities
- $10,089 per school year at private colleges and universities
Average apartment expenses, according to Debt.org:
- $1,178 per month for a two-bedroom apartment
- $112 per month for the electric bill
- $50 per month for internet
- Total: $16,080, assuming your child doesn’t have a roommate
So, here’s what I can tell you for sure, because there are so many variables: At first glance, an off-campus apartment may look way cheaper than the price of room and board, but you have to add in costs for electricity, gas, water, waste disposal, cable and internet — it all adds up fast.
In fact, there might even be hidden surprises you’re not thinking of as a parent. (You may own your own home now — it’s easy to forget about things like lease deposits!) Here are some often-forgotten extra expenses I came up with:
- Don’t forget about summertime rent! Remember, leases are typically year-round, not just the nine months your child is in school. That can add more to the bill.
- Your child will need to pay for transportation. Whether that means paying for car insurance, the subway, the bus system — whatever it is! — it adds to the expense.
- Utilities are part of the package. Don’t forget about electric, gas, internet, cable, water and trash. This can add considerably to the expense.
- A deposit is also part of the deal. The drawback to having to pay a deposit is that you have to pay it in the first place — and can lose it if your apartment is in a shambles when your lease is up.
- Roommates might not work out. What happens when one roommate decides to bail out and your child can’t find a replacement? The rent still needs to be paid each month!
Figure Out Whether Your Child Really Should Live Off Campus
Living off campus is much closer to a real-world experience. Rent is due and the lights will extinguish if the electric bill isn’t paid. Is your child ready for these types of responsibilities or is he better off in the relative comfort of dorm life? If you know for sure that your child will subsist on Easy Mac and needs an RA to help handle roommate squabbles, it might be better to stick to residence hall living.
On the surface, it might look like living on campus versus off campus is solely a money decision, but consider where your child would thrive most. If your son thinks of himself as a gourmet chef, he may hate eating the on-campus food and text you green-faced emojis daily. (That alone will probably tell you whether he or she is ready to live off campus.)
Don’t forget that there are ways to reduce the on-campus costs if you really want to. Your student may want to expand her leadership skills and get plugged into a resident advisor (RA) position. Here’s a major perk: RAs usually get free room and sometimes free board! Now, it’s true that your student may find that RA jobs are only reserved for juniors and seniors. However, your son or daughter might be the token sophomore that gets chosen! (I’ve seen it happen lots of times.) Your child will need to prove good grades and extracurricular involvement and will likely also have to go through a rigorous interview process.
Determine a Budget
You may want to talk your child through a budget prior to the start of college whether he or she decides to live off campus. In fact, to save you a little bit of time, I developed a budget worksheet for you and your child. You can copy this worksheet and adapt it to your needs. It’ll tally up all the costs for you automatically. It’s nothing fancy — maybe someday I’ll get a chance to make it really pretty!
Compare your student’s total expenses with his or her total income. Your child’s income should be greater than his or her expenses. If this isn’t the case, try to help your child reduce expenses and/or work to increase his or her income. This may show you clearly whether it’s cheaper to live on campus or off campus. Explore these options on every visit and while you build relationships with admission counselors and financial aid personnel at various schools.
Think of the Whole Picture
No, you don’t get extra financial aid for off-campus housing — even if it’s more expensive than living on campus. So, the moral of the story may be this: Don’t make cost the only factor when you and your child decide whether living off campus is a priority. There are lots of other things to consider — including your child’s sense of responsibility.
Here’s something else to consider: Check to make sure your financial aid and tuition plans cover off-campus housing. Direct student loans, 529 plans and prepaid tuition plans have certain rules about how your student is allowed to use the money.
