Hello! Here’s a guest post from my friend and colleague, Henry Khederian, who’s also a recent University of Michigan grad. He wrote a post-graduate letter about what he wishes he would have talked to his mom about during the college application process. Henry is a data research content creator at Benzinga. Enjoy!
Dear Mom,
You’ve guided and supported me through some of the most difficult and challenging decisions in my life.
Whether it was helping me select the best and brightest colors to finger paint when I was 5 or helping me look my best for my last high school prom, I know I can always count on your input!
I’ve had my ups and downs in high school, and you know that better than anyone. When I didn’t make the varsity basketball team, you were there to tell me life goes on and things happen for a reason.
When I went out on my first ice cream date, you did the little things like help me pick out a 10/10 outfit and let me borrow your car.
College is just around the corner, and like a member of Congress needs the counsel of his aids, I want to tackle this thing they call college admissions together.
I Want Your Help — I Really Do!
I’ve heard this thought bounced around on college admissions forums — the only thing harder than a student selecting a school is the parents’ role in steering their child in the right direction.
In other words, this process will not be one of linear progression (thanks, Algebra II, for the lingo). As decisions come in from the universities I apply to, I will face the heartbreak of rejection and the elation of success on this path.
When I falter, I’m not asking you to hold my hand per se, but provide a way forward if my favorite school doesn’t pan out the way I dreamed it would. After all, you will feel my impending acceptances, waitlists and rejection decisions at an emotional magnitude greater than or equal to me, that’s for sure.
It’s my responsibility to write the arduous college essays, recount my high school extracurricular activities and gather transcripts. But more than ever, I could use your wisdom to help me keep my ducks in a row during an incredibly stressful process.
Will you join me on this journey?
I’ve assembled a short list of the ways I believe you can support my success in the college admissions process.
In other words, here’s what I believe I need from you. (This is by no means an exhaustive list, and there’s no question that we could argue points made here, but this is what’s at the forefront of what I need from you as a high school student.)
Read Between the Lines
The ever-daunting question many high school students like me face is how should I handle the college admissions essay process?
Am I left to toss and turn at night, perplexed in the uncertainty that what I’ve written may not be good enough for an esteemed Ivy League admissions board?
Because so many college essays ask you to tell your personal story and journey, who better than to help me map my life experiences up to this point than you, Mom?
Help Me Identify My Strengths and Weaknesses
The concept of blind spots does not only apply to learning how to drive, you know! It can be hard to recall each one of my strengths and weaknesses these past 4 years. Where did I shine in my schoolwork, where did I lack support from my community in the midst of stressors from school?
Here are 3 key examples of questions where the common app asks me to recall my biggest of strengths and weaknesses:
Some students have a background, identity, interest or talent so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, please share your story.
The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback or failure. How did it affect you and what did you learn from the experience?
Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?
Absent the need to submit SAT and ACT test scores, essays are more important than ever.
I’m a firm believer that blind spots can only be spotted by the people closest to you. Why else would they be called blind spots if you could determine what they are all on your own?
I need your help with that college application checklist, even if it seems like I don’t appreciate your input.
Give Me Feedback
We’ve sat down together and hashed out so many incredibly active discussions on our life views (and yes, we’ve had arguments). I promise I won’t be mad if you have some critical feedback after I write the first few drafts for my common app essays.
Because I know your feedback can shine a light on my blind spots and is the most golden of all.
In other words, it’s one thing if I visited a hurricane-relief zone for charity work, but why did I decide to take on this role? What are the lasting effects of helping others in need? Anyone can tell their story, but it’s you, Mom, who can best build depth and breadth to the experiences I’ve had. You know me best!
Know that this Year is Stressful
My high school graduating class is facing stress before classes even begin. Due to coronavirus, the end of my “in-person” high school career may be cut short.
If anything, this uncertain timeline for the upcoming school year makes me want to make the most of each day that you and I have together before college arrives.
Because I’m bound to struggle with the logistical learning challenges brought on by COVID-19, I want you to be the first to know that, because you’ve been there for me time and time again, I trust you more than anyone to guide me through the finish line!
Some things never change — like how much I appreciate your support and critical feedback when I need it most.
Thank you for everything, and I know we’ve got this!
It’s time for seniors to get that admission ball rolling, and now’s the time to start.
One of the things I wish would be easier to understand are the different types of admission available at all schools. (I also wish there was one standard financial aid award that looked the same nationwide.)
I worked in the admission office of my alma mater for 12 years and we had rolling admission. This means that we’d accept applications as they came in, without an application deadline.
In other words, if you applied in September of senior year, you could get admitted just as easily as if you waited to May of senior year. The perks to rolling admission is that you don’t have to worry about a deadline date.
However, the downside is that your child doesn’t have a deadline. It’s often easier to make sure your child actually gets the application done when there’s a hard-and-fast deadline.
There are no right or wrong answers (kind of like choosing a major) but there are definitely types of admission that match best with your child’s personality. Let’s dive into seven different admission types and figure out which one is best for your student.
Various Types of College Admission
Let’s go over seven common types of college admission practices: Regular admission, rolling admission,
Regular Admission
Regular admission allows students to apply to as many schools as they would like. There’s an application submission deadline, which will vary between institutions. However, regular admission deadlines typically fall in early January and admission offers are sent out in late March or early April. Your student has until May 1 to either accept or decline the admission offers. Colleges that offer regular admission typically have an early college admission option (detailed below) so make sure you and your student are aware of all the deadline dates!
Best for: Students who want flexibility with their admission decision and don’t want to have to commit to a school early.
Rolling Admission
As I mentioned before, our college participated in rolling admission. Rolling admission means a college releases admission decisions regularly — sometimes daily — instead of sending them all out on one target date.
An admission committee will only review your child’s application as soon as all required information (such as high school records and test scores) has been received, rather than setting an application deadline and reviewing applications in a batch. Colleges that use a rolling admission policy usually notify applicants of admission decisions quickly.
If you apply earlier, you’ll receive your decision earlier. iming is important when applying to schools with rolling admissions. As classes fill up, fewer spots remain.
The average turnaround time for rolling admissions decisions by colleges is about two to six weeks. Rolling admissions decisions are non-binding, which means that your child will not be required to attend that school. Your child will not need to decide whether to enroll until May 1, often referred to as National Candidate Reply Day.
Best for: Students who are unhurried throughout the college search process or who want to take their time to compare schools and financial aid awards.
Open Admission
Open admission means a college accepts any high school graduate (no matter what those grades look like) until all spaces in the incoming class are filled. Two-year community colleges immediately come to mind — most community colleges have a two-year open admission policy. Note that a college with a general open admission policy may have certain admission requirements for specific programs.
Best for: Students who don’t have stellar academic performance, those who want to save money by going the community college route for two years.
Early College Admission
You may have already heard of the terms “early action” and “early decision” and may be a little curious about what they mean, particularly for parents of underclassmen. The tricky thing about some early admission programs is that your child may be required to attend that school. It’s great for the colleges because they get early commitments from students and Let’s go over these types of admission in a little more detail. If you need help with the process, consider using college admission essay writing services to help you.
Early Action (EA)
Early action means your student has the option to submit an application before the regular deadline. It’s a great way to get an admission decision from a college much earlier than usual.
One of the most flexible parts of early action plans is that they are not binding, which means that your child is not required to attend that particular college through this type of admission. Some colleges have an early action option called EA II, which involves a later application deadline than the regular EA plan.
To sum up:
Your child can apply to more than one college through early action.
A student can commit to that college right away or wait until spring to decide.
Your student can also decline the offer.
Best for: Students who have done their homework for the college search. The advantage to early action is that they know they’ve been accepted to college as they apply to other schools during the regular application period. In other words, they want to know they can relax a little bit. For additional support, services like EssayService’s help writing college essays can ensure students meet their goals with well-crafted applications.
Early Decision (ED)
Early decision means your child can submit an application to his or her first-choice college before the regular deadline. Your student will get an admission decision earlier than usual. Early decision plans are binding. This means your child must enroll in the college immediately if admitted and accept the financial aid award offered. Some colleges have an early decision option called ED II — a later application deadline than a school’s regular ED plan.
To sum up:
Your student can apply to just one early decision college.
Your child must go to that college if accepted and if you’re awarded enough financial aid. The decision is binding.
The early decision II (ED II) deadline gives your child more time to decide whether to apply early.
Your child must withdraw all other applications to other schools if accepted early decision.
Best for: Students who choose to go the early decision route know they want to go to one school and one school only. As a family, you must be comfortable with the financial aid award and know that your student can’t entertain any other offers from other schools.
Single-Choice Early Action or Restrictive Early Action
Single-choice early action, also known as restrictive early action or restricted early action, is another non-binding option. This means your child is not required to attend if accepted. However, if your student applies using this method, your child may not apply to any other school during the early action period only. This type of admission incorporates features of both early action and early decision. To be quite frank, it’s less restrictive than early decision but more restrictive than early action. Whew!
To sum up:
Your student can apply early to only one college, similar to early decision. Everything else in this admission type works the same as early action.
Applying to other colleges is still acceptable during the regular admission process.
Your child doesn’t have to decide until spring.
Best for: Students going the Ivy League route. This isn’t a common admission type unless your child is applying to a highly competitive school.
Early Evaluation
Admission offices may advise your student in writing of the likelihood of admission — whether it’s likely, possible or unlikely — no earlier than October 1 of your child’s senior year in high school. If a school indicates it’s likely, it’s similar to an acceptance — as long as your child keeps the same academic and personal record reflected in the completed application. The college will send a formal acceptance on the appropriate notification date.
Let’s say your student is lucky enough to get one or more such written communications. If your child has made a decision to go to one school, he’s encouraged (but not required) to notify all other institutions and to withdraw all other applications.
Deferred Admission
Permission from a college that has accepted you to postpone enrolling in the college. The postponement is usually for up to one year. Here are the steps to taking a gap year:
Make sure your student applies to college before the gap year.
Get accepted at that college.
Next, your child will need to send an email or letter to the director of admission at that college to explain exactly what he or she plans to do during the gap year. Check out the Gap Year Association for college and university policies concerning gap years. Double-check for the most updated policies at your child’s school.
Submit the enrollment deposit. This amount will be different at every school.
Determine the effects deferral will have on your child’s financial aid or scholarships. Many schools will allow you to keep the same financial aid and scholarships but it could change year to year. Check with the admission office at your child’s school.
Have your child find out whether the institution offers some form of gap year fellowship or subsidy program. Yep, it’s possible to get funded for a gap year!
Note that the school has the right to deny your gap year. If that happens, your child has a few options:
Your child can decide to attend the college as scheduled and not take the gap year.
Your student could wait and reapply to college until after the gap year. The downside is that your child may not be able to start college for another two years, which could end up making the transition a bit more difficult. Transcripts, test scores and letters of recommendation may also be more difficult to come by.
It may make sense to apply to multiple colleges and ask about gap year policies at each one.
I loved it when families came for college tours. They were excited, happy and sometimes even nervous. However, some families weren’t sure what questions to ask because everything (everything!) was new to them.
I compiled a list of must-ask questions to ask on a college tour for admission counselors, financial aid professionals, professors, coaches and more. You may think of others that pertain directly to your child’s situation, but this should give you a great start!
The student tour guide offers the most candid look at what a college is like. Spend as much time as you can with your child and the tour guide and make sure your child asks questions, even if the tour guide probably isn’t going to be your child’s best friend. Yes, the student is groomed to give canned responses to some questions but talking to the tour guide is the best way to get a feel for a college.
What’s your favorite thing about this college?
What’s your least favorite thing about the college you attend?
Where might my child spend a lot of time if he/she is a student here?
Why did you choose this college?
What are the students like?
Which residence hall is your favorite? Where did you live your first year?
Where do you live now? Why did you choose to live there?
What is the food like?
What is your major?
Is this a suitcase college? (Do people go home a lot on the weekends?)
What activities does the college have available for students?
Is it easy to get an internship here? Have you had an internship?
How available are professors?
How does the college handle communication?
Have you found it difficult to handle the costs of college?
What are your plans for after graduation? Do you plan to go to graduate school? Get a job?
Is it easy to get a work-study job on campus? Why or why not?
Where do first-year students typically get assigned for work-study? Can they request a work-study job?
How have online classes gone due to COVID-19? Has that been a seamless transition?
Are the classes rigorous? Have you found them manageable?
How do you manage classes and athletics? (If the student is an athlete and your child is a prospective athlete as well.)
How many tours did you go on before you chose this college?
Is this college far away from your hometown? How do you manage going home during breaks?
Is it easy to get involved in extracurricular activities?
Was it easy or difficult for you to get accepted into this college? How many other colleges did you apply to?
What do you do for fun and what is the social scene like?
What was the most surprising and difficult thing about adjusting to college life?
Admission Counselor Questions
You can call an admission counselor an “admission counselor” or an “admissions counselor.” What does an admissions counselor do? Check it out before you go on your visit! Generally, this is the person who will help you throughout the college search process. Your child will be assigned an admission counselor based on geography. You can search a map of the United States on any college’s website and find your child’s admission counselor. Here are some great questions to ask your child’s admission counselor. (I spent 12 years in college admission and I loved it when families asked me these questions!)
Admission Requirements and Process
What’s the application process?
What is the admission process, from start to finish, and what should my child expect after an application?
What ACT/SAT scores does my child need to attend your college? Is it optional?
Do you superscore test results (take the best score of each subject test on multiple ACT or SAT dates)?
Can my child self-report my standardized test scores?
Should my child aim for a certain grade point average? What are the requirements?
Does my child need to submit an essay or letters of recommendation? If so, what are the requirements?
Are there any other admission requirements we need to be aware of? What types of supporting materials does my child need to provide?
Does my child need to do an interview with an alumnus or college staff member to be admitted?
Are there different admission requirements for various departments or majors?
How can my child make his or her application stand out?
What are the most important admission factors at your college or university?
Do you accept the Common Application, the Coalition Application or the Universal College Application or do you have your own application?
What types of deadlines do you have for your applications?
Do you charge an application fee? How do we pay it?
Can we get a waiver for the application fee if the fee is a hardship for our family?
Do you have an applicant portal my child will need to use?
What are your recommendations for teacher evaluations, if required?
What does your ideal applicant look like?
How do you look at extracurricular activities and work experience in the admission process?
If my child applies early decision or early action to another college or university, can he or she apply to another college?
Do you defer admission to some students? If so, why, and what can my child do to be admitted?
Can my child defer admission once admitted?
Is the rigor of my high school taken into consideration when my child applies?
Who will read my child’s application?
Will it help my child to take advanced, accelerated or honors courses?
Can my child add/remove something from his application once it’s submitted?
How does my child track the status of her application?
Does your college ever rescind an admission offer?
If my child is rejected Early Decision, can he apply Regular Decision?
Does my child need to submit mid-year reports of her grades?
Are my child’s chances for admission to your university’s graduate school greater if she attends your university as an undergraduate?
How should my child submit transcripts from any college courses?
Are admission requirements different if my child is homeschooled?
Will my child’s financial aid award be different if she applies for admission under Early Decision, Early Action, etc.?
When do application decisions become available?
Is there a maximum number of students admitted from a particular country, region or school?
How should my child submit standardized test scores?
How do you determine which credits transfer?
Is admission competitive? How competitive?
Future Visit Details
You may want to come back! In that case, check with the admission counselor you’re talking to so you can find out which options are best. Check out my ultimate guide to Here are few questions you could ask:
Which visit days should my child attend throughout the year?
How do we arrange an on-campus overnight visit?
What’s the best way to arrange future visits in general?
What does a visit schedule look like if my child chooses to arrange future visits?
In your opinion, is it best to do a group visit day if we choose to visit again or is it best to do a personal campus visit?
Do you have competitive academic scholarships my child can interview for (and come back to campus another time)?
Academic Details
Why not ask the admission office about academics? Admission counselors can offer a candid overview of academics at the college they’re working at because what do they do all day long? They talk to current students who work in the admission office (and also hear their complaints and what they celebrate).
Do professors have an open-door policy? How accessible are they?
Are teaching assistants or professors the ones who teach the classes?
What is the average class size?
What is the student to faculty ratio?
Can you tell me about the [insert name] major? What are your most popular majors and classes?
How are classes selected?
Are there required first-year classes?
My child’s favorite subject in school is [insert favorite subject]. How can that translate to a major here?
How rigorous are classes here?
Tell me about academic support services here.
Does your college provide services if my child has a disability?
What is your graduation rate?
How many students go on to graduate school or become employed after graduation?
How many students get jobs in their majors or a related field?
What types of internships are available for students?
Is it possible to do research as an undergraduate student?
Is your school on the semester or quarter system?
Does your school offer pre-professional majors?
Are tutors available?
Demographics, Social Life and Other Activities
What types of clubs and organizations can my child get involved in?
What are the most popular clubs and organizations?
What’s the social life like on campus? What do students do for extracurricular activities?
What would you change about this college or university?
Do students usually attend sporting events, theatre events or more?
Is it possible for my child to start his or her own club or organization? What is the process to do that?
How many students study abroad? Is it a popular thing to do? How is study abroad structured here?
Is it easy to manage a collegiate athletic career and academics? How do coaches approach academics and athletics here?
What security measures are in place at your institution?
Is on-campus housing guaranteed?
Is my child required to live on campus?
How does the meal system work?
Is it easy to find a student job on or near campus?
How is housing assigned?
Can my child live on campus during school breaks?
How safe is the campus and the surrounding neighborhood?
What is the percentage of students of color on campus?
What is the percentage of students who live on campus?
Can you tell me the male-to-female ratio on campus?
How does parking on campus work?
Where are students who go to your school from?
How does your college or university accommodate students with food allergies?
What role do parents play in your community?
What is your freshman retention rate?
Financial Aid Professional Questions
You might want to meet with a financial aid professional as well — and that’s a great move. However, if you can’t get an appointment with someone in the financial aid office, admission counselors are well-versed in most financial aid topics and should be able to walk you through an award letter or answer basic questions about scholarships and loans. Here are some questions you may want to ask:
What is the tuition, room, board and fees at this school?
How much does tuition increase each year? Do scholarships increase to match the change?
What scholarships can my child qualify for? How does my child qualify for them?
Are there any merit-based scholarships available at your school?
Can my child receive grants? If so, what are the requirements?
How do loans work and how should we apply for them?
Can you explain in detail how a financial aid award is set up?
What amount will my child receive, using your school’s net price calculator or a financial aid estimator?
What are the interview or audition requirements for certain scholarships?
Can my child apply for talent-based scholarships?
What will happen if our family’s financial aid situation changes while my child is at your school?
Will my child qualify for work-study? How does work-study work here?
Does my child need to report outside scholarships? Will merit-based scholarships be “taken away” if my child receives a large outside scholarship?
Where should we send checks for outside scholarships?
Do we need to complete a CSS Profile?
How will we know if the FAFSA has been submitted correctly?
When will my child receive the financial aid award?
What is the deadline for applying for financial aid?
My child is undocumented. Is my child still eligible for financial aid?
How does financial aid work if my child studies abroad?
Can veterans or children of veterans receive financial aid at your school?
Can we apply for financial aid in future years if we do not apply the first year?
Will you help me file the FAFSA in person?
What kind of need-based aid can my child get?
How is work-study awarded?
How will the financial aid office help our family break down the costs?
What does the average student receive in financial aid from your school?
Are there other extra expenses we’ll need to be prepared for, like activity fees, biology lab fees, etc.? Can you give us a list of those additional expenses?
Faculty Member Questions
Many colleges and universities will grant you time with professors — you just have to ask. It can be intimidating for your student to meet with a faculty member but it’s well worth it! After all, your student may have that professor for classes. A professor can change the trajectory of a your student’s career and life. Here are some questions you and your child can ask:
Which classes do you teach?
What is your favorite class to teach? Why?
Why do you teach here?
What is your teaching style?
How often do terminal degreed professors teach the classes?
What are your top expectations at the beginning of any semester?
Do you help students with connections for internships and jobs after graduation?
Are undergraduates able to get research opportunities?
How do you measure success in your classroom?
What does a typical syllabus look like in one of your classes?
How does advising work? What’s the process to put together a student schedule?
When are your office hours? Is it easy for students to get their questions answered?
What is your average class size? For introductory classes? For advanced classes?
What are your most successful students doing now?
How do you communicate with students?
Do you put an emphasis on interactive or group work or put an emphasis on lectures?
How do you choose the textbooks a student will use during the semester?
Do you consider yourself to be approachable?
What should my child do if he or she is having trouble in your class?
Do you have teaching assistants (TAs)?
Are there any supplemental instruction (SI) sessions my student can go to during any given semester?
How have you handled online learning during COVID-19?
How much time do your students spend studying and completing assignments during the week?
Are your classes reading and writing intensive?
What types of issues do students bring to you during office hours?
Is there a capstone project or internship requirement for your program?
What does a typical path to graduation look like? What exact classes are required?
How long does it take the average student to graduate? Four years? Five years or more?
What is the academic community like in your department or program?
What resources are available to me?
Is service learning or similar opportunities for hands-on learning a priority in your classes?
Do you help students determine their career path or calling?
Do your students make connections between their academic studies and activities outside of class? Can you give us an example?
How do you work with students who choose to study abroad? Is there a best time during the academic program?
What other majors and minors do students usually combine with this major?
Do you do any other research or other projects that can affect what you teach here?
What are students surprised to learn when they’re in your class?
What do you do when students realize your major isn’t a fit?
Coach Questions
You want to be sure that a college is a good fit for your child athletically if your child is an athlete — but make sure it’s a great fit academically and socially as well. Note that you’ll want to ask the admission office questions about grades, admission, SAT, ACT, academic scholarships, etc. — coaches should not answer admission questions.
A quick tip: Don’t bring up athletic scholarships right away — a coach wants you to demonstrate a team commitment first. Here are some questions you and your child may want to ask a coach.
Why do you coach? What is your coaching philosophy?
What are the holes in your program that my child can help fulfill?
How do you recruit?
What are you looking for in the right recruit?
Can you describe your program’s values?
What does a typical day look like for a player during the season?
How about the off-season program? What are the expectations?
How do you encourage your players academically?
What are the academic requirements for your program?
What do your players do during their free time?
Can you tell me your team’s total GPA and graduation rate?
Do the players typically live together on campus?
Is it easy for players to catch up after missed class time for games and meets? How do they usually do that?
My child wants to major in X. Is it possible to major in this and still play for your program?
How much of an impact do you see my child making on the team right away? Later on?
What does my child need to do to be evaluated by your staff?
Can you tell me more about your assistant coaches? What are their philosophies?
When does your coaching contract end? Do you see yourself here another four years?
How would you describe the team chemistry?
What are the current strengths and weaknesses of your team?
Get Your Questions Answered
I’ve included a lot of questions on this list! You’ll keep yourself pretty busy if you ask every single one of these questions on your college visit. However, note a few, write them down, take this link with you on a visit. Maybe this list will also inspire your own questions on your visit!
Here’s something I witnessed in the admission office many, many times: Parents playing an active role in the college search. It’s natural, right? We worked with families, not just students.
What happens when the student wants you to do it all? I saw a lot of this:
Parents who called me in the admission office (not their student).
Emails from parents with questions (I never heard from their kid).
Parents who filled out applications for their kids (it was sometimes obvious!)
Now, to be fair, students sometimes messaged me. The occasional student even talked to me on the phone.
One mom, Mrs. Bach, left me this voicemail: “This is Mrs. Bach, Emily’s secretary. Emily refuses to pick up the phone, so I’m calling to ask questions about your college’s music scholarship.”
It made me smile, but I also know Mrs. Bach was slowly being driven crazy by her daughter’s reluctance to handle her own college communication.
What should you do when your kid wants you to be a helicopter parent? (Maybe not even consciously?) I know you’ve probably heard this term before, but just in case: Helicopter parents before college hover and take care of every part of their child’s life. On the other hand, lawnmower parents mow down any person or obstacle that stands in the way of anyone or anything that causes their child discomfort or frustration.
Here are a few tips to set expectations, goals and work together. You may want your child to do most of the work but you may also know there are things (like the FAFSA) that may require you to lend a hand.
1. Set Clear Expectations Up Front
Make sure your child knows your comfort level with helping in advance. For example, you can tell your high schooler you’re definitely on board to assist during the college search process but you’re not going to do everything for him. Explain your reasoning and explain your limits way before the college search begins.
Remind your high schooler that completing college admission requirements, scholarships and more doesn’t mean he’s overburdened. Instead, explain that he’s gaining the mental strength he needs to get ready for college.
2. Divvy Up Responsibilities
Decide ahead of time who will handle specific parts of the college search. For example, you might decide you can handle the following:
Go to scholarship events at the college (if applicable)
Scholarship searches
Talk through financial aid awards
Obviously, you can pick and choose which tasks make the most sense for each of you. Your child may be completely fine with scheduling college visits on his own and doing robust scholarship searches.
No matter what, figure all this out ahead of time and gently hold each other accountable.
3. Set Goals Together
Setting goals together is different than splitting up responsibilities. Setting goals during the college search is a great way to make sure you’re on track. The beauty of goal-setting is that you can kick start it at any time, whether you’ve got a year left in the college search process or three. For example, let’s say your child is a junior in high school. You can map out goals over the next two years. Let’s say you’ve got twin eighth graders. Why not set some loose goals for the next four years?
Make sure your goals are specific, detailed and indicate when you’d like to accomplish them.
Let’s say one of your high schooler’s goals is to get into a prestigious university. He could even write it down: “Get into Carnegie Mellon.” But would that actually help him? Nah. A general phrase like that won’t help your child (or you!) hone in on exactly what you both need to do in order to make that happen.
Instead, research what it will take to get there. For example, let’s say you look up Carnegie Mellon’s requirements for the School of Architecture. You find out that your child must:
Apply Regular Decision before January 1 during senior year using the Common Application.
Submit a portfolio of creative work for admission to the school of architecture.
Complete an on-campus review of the portfolio submission.
What will it take to get there?
Here are some targeted goals your child could write:
Take an architecture software class at the local community college by May of sophomore year.
Talk to an architect in my community who can advise me on how to put together an architecture portfolio and assist with a project by June of sophomore year.
Design several small buildings using this software during junior year.
Design my aunt’s new home that she’s planning to build during junior year.
Create a portfolio that showcases design creativity and technical expertise in several types of architecture software like Grasshopper or Rhino3D fall of senior year.
Did you notice goal No. 1 on the list? It’s a goal that allows your child to take immediate action. Taking an immediate step toward a major goal makes it more real and builds momentum toward the ultimate goal.
Here’s a way you can apply it in another way. Let’s say your child has always wanted to travel to Europe with a friend, spouse orother family member. What’s one immediate step she could take to make it happen?
Call a travel agent today and discuss your future plans.
Request a brochure from a travel company.
Set a date within 24 hours. Why not?
See how doing those three things can make something seem so real for your child?
Your child can set small, realistic, specific and attainable goals that lead to the big goal in the end — getting into Carnegie Mellon. Or achieving a specific scholarship — or whatever that goal may be!
4. Write Down Those Goals!
Encourage your child to write down his or her goals. There’s such power in writing down goals! Put them in a place where you’ll both see them every day, whether they’re on a Post-it Note stuck to the bathroom mirror or a printed-out list on the refrigerator (as long as your child doesn’t see them as a constant nagging reminder!).
Trello, a free service, is a great way to handle scholarship applications or college applications. It could include categories like this:
Scholarships to apply for/ Applications to complete
In progress
Draft complete
In editing
Ready to submit
Submitted
Trello is a great way to keep track of progress and all family members can use it to aid the college search.
5. Acknowledge Steps Taken
Once you and your child have set those goals, it’s time to tackle them. Now, what happens if your child finds that his or her goals are difficult to achieve?
Break them down into smaller, more manageable chunks. This might take a little more planning but it’s always better to make sure goals are achievable. Otherwise, it would be really easy to give up on them. Be flexible with due dates if it’s an option.
Every time your child achieves one of his or her goals or mini-goals, celebrate! Acknowledging achievements goes a very, very long way during the college search.
6. Pivot When Goals Aren’t Met
What happens if a goal slips right past your child because he just didn’t feel like doing the work or is unable to complete it in the allotted time?
For example, what if your child doesn’t want to do the work to get into Carnegie Mellon’s architecture program?
It might be time to go back to the drawing board and figure out whether that’s really your child’s best path. Maybe committing to an architecture major at 18 isn’t the best option! Get to the root of the problem — have some serious conversations with your child and decide what you’ll do next.
So what do you do?
You move forward with the next plan. Maybe the next goal is to apply to Carnegie Mellon using the Common Application after August 15. Maybe the new goal is to get into Arcadia University, closer to home! Break down those goals, write down the new goals and move forward.
Nip Helicoptering (or Lawnmowering) in the Bud
Your child may be used to your heavy helping hand (remember that science fair project? Yikes!) but now’s the time for your child to start learning how to move independently. Recognizing that deserves a huge round of applause.
One more quick tip: It might not help to air frustrations during this time. You want to be as positive as possible during the college search and you want to be your child’s partner during the process. Remember, your goals may not be the same as your child’s goals. It can be tough to wrap your head around (and tough to accept!) alternative decisions.
What are your immediate thoughts and feelings when you think about this?
Do you feel excitement for the years ahead? Sad at the idea of being an empty nester? Do you feel a deep spike of fear when you consider how you’ll pay for it? Maybe you feel all of the above!
Hang in there — it’s normal to feel a rollercoaster of emotions.
I’ll always remember the unforgettable Andriuskevicius triplets. (That last name! Three times!) The three high schoolers came through the admission office looking so identical. It was so fun talking with them. Two of the kids ended up enrolling at the private college I worked for. One enrolled at a state university.
Their parents got slightly nervous when the conversation turned to paying for college. “You know, we knew this was coming,” Mrs. Andriuskevicius said. “But when they say, ‘Enjoy it, they grow so fast,’ they really mean it,” she added.
She was a fun mom (she had to be, to raise triplets!) and asked how much it would cost immediately. She listened to the financial aid spiel and did some fast math. Mrs. Andriuskevicius totaled up a pretty accurate figure in her head about much it would cost for all three kids to go to college — after grants and scholarships.
According to College Board, the average published yearly tuition and fees (not including room, board, housing or supplies) are:
Two-year public colleges (in-district students): $3,440
Four-year public colleges (in-state students): $9,410
Four-year public colleges (out-of-state students): $23,890
Private four-year colleges: $32,410
Multiply these amounts by two (or three or four!) kids and you could be looking at quite a chunk of change, as Mrs. Andriuskevicius deduced in about one minute flat. (I was really impressed.)
Hang on, there’s good news coming!
There’s Good News!
Did you know that it having two kids in college can work to your advantage?
“In my experience, the FAFSA’s expected family contribution (EFC) takes a significant drop when the second and third child enter college,” says Pam Rambo, former financial aid director in a community college, four-year college and a 5-city college access organization training counselors in financial aid. She now owns Rambo Research and Consulting.
The EFC is based on household income and assets. It’s the minimum amount that a household is expected to contribute toward the cost of college.
The financial aid office at each college uses the EFC for each student to determine how much aid your student gets. “That is a simple subtraction problem in which they take the official cost of attendance (COA) for their school and subtract the EFC,” Rambo says.
In other words, let’s say your student is attending a college that costs $30,000 per year and your child’s EFC is $15,000. The amount of need for your oldest child is $15,000.
Now, that doesn’t mean that all financial aid offices try to meet the full $15,000. Each financial aid office uses a financial aid formula that they use to distribute aid. Some colleges try to meet 100 percent of need. Others might meet 50 percent to 80 percent of need.
Check for a Sibling Discount
Have your kids considered going to the same college?
Whenever I think about this topic, Michelle, Maye and Rachael all come to mind — three sisters who attended the college I worked for — all at the same time. Michelle was a senior, Maye was a junior and Rachael was a freshman! They always said their dad (jokingly) refused to move three girls to three separate colleges each fall. It worked out really well that they all went to the same college.
I Know What You’re Thinking: “There’s No Way My Kids Will Go to the Same School!”
You might think there’s no way your kids will go to the same school: “They’re like oil and water! There’s no way they’ll end up on the same campus!” But the reality is that older siblings do have an influence on younger siblings, according to a working paper released by the National Bureau of Economic Research.
In addition, a study by Joshua Goodman of Brandeis University, Michael Hurwitz of the College Board, Christine Mulhern of Harvard University and Jonathan Smith of Georgia State University found that when older siblings enroll at a target college, it “nearly quadruples” the probability that younger siblings will apply to that same school. In addition, 13 percent of younger siblings follow their older sibling to the target college only because their older sibling enrolled there.
The benefit? Cost reductions.
“If the children are entering the same college, I have seen very favorable treatment in terms of the financial aid package offered,” Rambo adds. She says there’s no fixed dollar amount for the reduction because the reduction depends on financial information from each family.
“I like to address the fear of parents of freshmen, sophomores and juniors with a plan to apply where their aid awards will be greatest in relation to the cost of the colleges. Looking at whether colleges collect even more data about a family by requiring the CSS Profile is another strategy,” she says.
The CSS Profile, short for the College Scholarship Service Profile, is an online application created and maintained by the College Board. It allows college students to apply for non-federal financial aid and requires a much more comprehensive overview than the FAFSA. Nearly 400 colleges and scholarship programs use it to award non-federal aid. Check with the admission office of the schools your chid is applying to to determine whether your child needs to fill out the CSS Profile.
Filing the FAFSA
Does it change the FAFSA with more than one student in college? Rambo says that in addition to other calculations, the FAFSA collects information on the number of minor children in the family who will also be attending an undergraduate program at the same time and figures that into the formula, which is used to calculate the EFC for each child headed to college.
A frequent surprise for families with two children in college: Each child has a different EFC number. “They ask, ‘How is this possible when we entered our same income information for both?’” Rambo says.
The answer is simple: Student income and bank balances can make a difference.
How Many FAFSAs Do You Need to Complete for Multiple Kids?
This is a great (and common!) question. You’ll need to fill out FAFSA forms for each child but can transfer the information from one form to another so you don’t have to completely start from scratch each time you work on the FAFSA.
But wait! Before you file the FAFSA, you’ll need to get separate FSA IDs for each child. An FSA ID is a username and password combination that serves as your legal electronic signature throughout the financial aid process. You and each of your children will need your own FSA ID.
Your FSA ID is associated with your Social Security number and is equivalent to your legal signature. That’s why you must have a special FSA ID per person. You’ll use the same FSA ID to sign each of your children’s FAFSA forms.
Get Excited!
Don’t forget to do a few things methodically:
Look for lower-priced schools.
Put an emphasis on having your child help earn money throughout school.
Consider ways to earn more or make more money.
Consider federal loans over private loans. The Parent Loan for Undergraduate Students (PLUS loan) is an excellent option if you’re willing to take out a little bit more for college. for the freshman year and work with the college aid and scholarship offices to find additional funds for sophomore year and beyond. Learn how to apply for the Parent PLUS loan.
Remember that you don’t have to come up with the full amount yourself. Many colleges offer steep discounts!
“You might find that if you’re a high-income earner and your child has already been accepted at a high-dollar university which only awards need-based aid, you may not see much help with the first child who enrolls there. That will improve some when a second child goes to college,” Rambo says.
It Takes Planning
Every dollar you save is $1 less that you or your child will have to borrow. (Yep, I’ll bring out the “a penny saved…” adage. Those pennies really do add up, even after just a couple of years!)
Most families end up covering just over 40% of college costs with a combination of savings and income, according to a national study by Ipsos and Sallie Mae. Your child will likely get scholarships, grants and loans as well.
What can you do as a parent?
Don’t forget about how helpful meeting with a financial advisor can be. If you can, do it before your first child’s a senior so you can develop a comprehensive plan to determine what’s best for your family’s financial circumstances. In some cases, financial advisors can recommend how to reallocate your assets, which can be helpful before you file the FAFSA. (It can help you qualify for more aid.)
Also, don’t discount your earning power. Your earning power may be tremendous during the course of a 10-month period. Remember that you can always figure out how much your paycheck can cover and submit money (even if it’s just a little bit!) to help pay for college.
You Can Do This!
I always admire the Andriuskevicius triplets’ parents because they handled having three kids in school all at once with such grace. They took a deep breath and handled the costs through a combination of grants, scholarships, cash and loans. All three kids made it through college (and incidentally, the “oldest” triplet ended up student teaching in my daughter’s first-grade classroom. A fun connection!
Thinking about putting more than one student in college at once can feel like plopping yourself into an icy stream. But it’s doable. Jigsaw the puzzle of all the options together. Consider how you can break it down, and remember, having more than one student in school can be a benefit, not a drawback.
